Chasing Rabbits and Colors

"Go ask Alice" - I guess would be my favorite quote before I even freaking knew that  J.A. didn't mean - innocently - Ask her.  It.  was a drug reference.  I was so clueless and innocent but could read underpinnings so I got that something wasn't quite innocent in all of this so I don't know exactly what's happening but if I smile and nod I'll look like I freaking know what they are talking about.  Yeah that was middle school.  I'm still doing it.  THOUGH to my credit - I'm slightly smarter and less naive.  "slightly" being the operative word.  I guess we all do a bit of the "pretend we know what is going on so I don't look dumb thing."  Some just do it better than others.  I'm a very quick thinker so I can fake my way through a lot - some - not so much.  I'm not smarter necessarily  - just quicker.  I do well in make or break things.  I work well under pressure. Unless it involves reverse motion or parallel parking on a car.  I've said numerous times - my brain does not do reverse.  Full disclosure! Though,  I was the first draft only draft.  Only I did it 2 weeks before it was due.  I'm not stupid!

This last stretch sans kids has really been hard.  I don't want to be flaky but I take this brief reprieve to do the check up from the - yeah you know . . .  but I'm one to get weird when I don't have people that need me to be the stuff everyday.  I have tried to clean house personally this last few weeks.  Prune - if you will.  Fill myself with good things.  Cheap wine is always a good thing in my book!  In Vino Veritas!  Next tattoo!

But I've also been chasing rabbits and frankly it's a bit exhausting.  Less the chasing and more the rabbit.  I'm a runner and am pleased to say my speed had greatly improved.  I was for a very long time a 6 miles per hour runner.  After the marathon in November to now - I'm 7.25 per hour.  Not like Kenyan speed by any mother chicken way -  but I'm pleased.  I decided that I want to more than by 3 minutes qualify for Boston.  I will not run it (I'm SO not that yuppie runner!) but just qualifying makes my girl parts shimmy!

Being faster is cool.  I like full on sprinting.  I like the voice in my head as the flood gates open and I'm full on - super in it.  It's better than whatever they were asking Alice about - I'm telling you.  Though at the end I wanna puke - but really, it's a good puke :D

So - I'm doing this Color Run in September.  It's NOT a race - it's 5k.  They blast you with colored chalk at each increment.  check it out.  I want a team to do it with me though I may force - I mean ALLOW my kids to do it with me. Google it.  Richmond VA in September.  I've paid for it so I'm in.  let's do it.  I'm always chasing something.  

Word to my single sisters who want men...

Ladies.  When I knew I was in want of a man - when I knew I needed to be with someone of the opposite sex - I turned - logically -  to the Internet.  I knew I did NOT want to meet a guy in a bar.  Church would have been great but I went to a very small church and frankly - pick ens were slim (but the guys were NOT)
So my search went far and wide on the w.w.w.

And my search ended well.  BUT ladies - I'm telling you there's a MORE better way (yeah I meant that).  TODAY.  I found the BEST - yes THE best place to find a man.  If Roger had not been holding my hand the whole time I'm pretty sure I'd be with someone named X  - from  . . . .

THE GUN SHOW!  


We went to the Dulles Expo center today for the gun show.  Dear LORD there was more testosterone flowing through that damn building than I could breathe in!  Men - Boys - really cute boys - Cops - Military - super cute - grey beards (yum) all of it SUPER MALE.  I'm sure that that was the safest place on the planet since every guy there wanted to protect or actively be protected.  I LOVE THAT SHIT.  If you hate guns you will hate what I have to say - but what happened in Colorado had nothing to do with gun laws -   Crazy people do dumb things every day and it sucks.  We are born to die.  Hopefully not badly or painfully but when we are born the clock starts and 2 or 92 we die.  It's the Corporeal body.  The cool thing is that if you believe in God and the eternal you know that if you are alive (fetus) you live forever.  Not everyone gets that or believes it and I personally prove nothing other than experience (mine) which is pretty freaking cool!
BUT guns are like really fast knives.  I can kill a whole bunch of people if I poison them.  You gonna outlaw Drano?  Anybody that wants to kill can.  It's a horrible thing.  I don't like rap but I guess no one dies - just my soul when I hear it . . but really? the gun was the inanimate object that did the will of the crazy person.  poison gas - fire - or you name the method - anything could kill people if someone is set to be bad.


I do not dislike firearms - in fact I respect them greatly.  I can't say I like them - I respect them.  I don't personally own one yet  - though, I will soon.  I was taught a lot of respect both for freedom and what cost it came from and for things of such magnitude as a child.  I can shoot and am actually pretty good - though my preferred weapon is a bow.  I am actually an accomplished archer - won an award in HS - (please leave your offering at the door)  But it's kind of hard to conceal carry a bow.  the quiver totally gets in the way.  So - considering where I live and I personally know 2 people who conceal every day - I'm in.  It's a test and I'm good.  I'm ready to be ready.  You want peace? prepare for war.  I'm not a dumb girl.  My body is strong and I am taking classes to make it stronger.  My mind is strong - I'm taking classes to make it stronger.

Don't mess with Texas is still my favorite slogan.  I guess that's why I love Texas.  

I may lose friends tonight.

sigh.  I'm not apologizing - because I won't unless I did something to hurt someone either intentionally or un.  But - HI my name is Katie - and I like Southern Rock.  In addition to the veritable BUFFET of other things I like. - I do really like southern rock.  I love ambient and  Skrillex, Tool, Rihanna and now - Blackberry Smoke (recently)  I love Florence and the Machine - OMG - she is amazing.  So I am NOT a one trick pony.  but I can tie a cherry stem in a knot :D

I do not like country - sam I am I do not.  I've never actually heard a Keith Urban song ( though JESUS he's hot - good for you Nicole!) .  chances are I won't like it.  I don't care if Bubba shot the jukebox or if we can boot scoot or if there's a watermelon perhaps crawling somewhere . . .  Full on Country is NOT my bag - but add a little Kenny Wayne Shepherd and YES PLEASE - blue on black?  um yes!  I don't care who you are if you don't like a little skynard ?  don't freaking call me in the morning  or eva

come on?  Dio?  dig him long time but I'd have sex to Lynard Skynard any damn day!!

I would rather die with my boots on than listen to Bieber or Usher sing a freaking NOTE.  Put it the hell away!  Does either of them do anything but pose for the camera ?  There are actual people - you know who play these things called INSTRUMENTS - they are so sweet and make music  - good music if done right.
Yeah! suddenly I know why good musicians have good sex . . .  YEAH i make good flute.  Just sayin. :D  "one time - at band camp - - -- "  yeah.

I love passion.  channeled.  If you love it and do it = chances are God is behind it unless your passion is like = killing people for fun - unless you are CIA or FBI  - or a really hot Navy Seal ( call me :D ) and then I guess well - have fun.  I'm not GOD - and that's a good thing since I personally think I would suck.  AND would be really really biased toward people who prayed to me and all.

So.  I do.  38 Special, Kansas - skynard.  kenny(and no not ROGERS - Jesus - I haven't lost my mind).  Jeff Healy (Roadhouse - blind guy).  I do - really like it.  Kind of like Roy Orbison moved a bit south.

Blackberry Smoke is good shit.  It's not like the first time you saw RUSH or anything - but they are good.  Little too much Hair on a boy for my liking but I get the genre.  I loves me some Uncle Ted so I get the hair being an expression - and I guess coming from that kind of Kill it and Eat it sort of Family I like a man that isn't afraid of firearms nor hunting.  I'm a very COMPLEX simple girl :D  - I'd be happy spinning and knitting and sewing and creating and growing for the rest of my life.  OR - teaching and training and writing and spinning and knitting and sewing and creating and growing for the rest of my life.

I am from a family - HEY you all -   that cut up deer (also know as venison in the cool foodie world - I only knew it as dinner) in their living room.  We ate venison a lot.  It is still one of my top favorite meats and I respect those who hunt  - greatly.  I guess I'm stretching since THERE may be southern rockers who are also PETA followers . . . but GOD DAMN I hope not.  It would really bust my cool.  I like to have some semblance of buckets.  I hate to pigeon hole people  - but buckets are nice. I like buckets.  You do southern rock - have MORE hair than I do (and personally I have a f'k ton of hair!) my face? not so much - :D
BUT LORD on fire - you gotta at least wanna shoot something?  right?  If I find out you are sitting around conditioning that damn beard instead of doing something manly and scratchy - ugh . . . 


Well - I guess if you all abandon me tonight I so so get it but really - There was a good friend who said they would take Stevie Ray V on her honeymoon  - I totally put him in S.R. category.  :D  Just sayin B!
        

Fierce shoes!

oh, I am such a girl -

Yes.  sigh.  I am.  I bleed on a regular basis - though that would be something I personally would CHOOSE NOT to.  really.  It's kind of gross on a Biblical basis and I really wish that the Garden of Eden would have ended very VERY differently - personally.  Just sayin.  Mosquitoes?  really?  When I get to Heaven I'm going to personally nut punch Adam.  He's been warned.  Might bitch slap her.  nah.  we tight.

I digress.  If ya'll know me you know I'm a sucker for well fitting designer clothes that are practically free.  AKA - THRIFT stores.  For 80 bucks tonight I got more Banana Republic, Anne Taylor and New York and Co. and Roger got more Polo's than he will outlive (though he's pretty fly for an old guy!) LOL !  New FIERCE shoes that are all VEGAS!!!  I can't wait to wear them - which is why I'm wearing them to work tomorrow!  They make me 6' 1" !!!  I love it!  The best part is that they are super comfortable.  I know RIGHT?!?  Again.  B.R. I so love them.  They fit me perfectly.  Super score.

Maybe it's just that I'm cheap - but if these shoes were full price I'd never pay 100 bucks.  8?  sure.  New? Of course!  I just like the thrill of the hunt.  Prada?  yup.  Mostly I stick to what I know fits.  Gap, BR, New York, Anne Taylor and Old Navy - some DKNY.  I think they have the same 6 model.  It fits exactly the same.  I hope at least she has a big nose and fat feet - lol!!!  Oh I didn't say that!  :D

But - I really love hunting - (and I swear I will put it to good use and yes Uncle Ted - use every part)  it actually makes it fun.  I refuse to spend money on anything other than intimate pieces (yes I buy expensive undergarments that are NEW!)  and running shoes.  though I still like the barefoot running thing.  Thinking of alternatives to shoes.  Got some ideas.  But again - I'm a girl :D  Vegas approaches - I'm so excited!!!  working on my cheap ass white trash bikini and wrap!!!  There may or may not be pictures.  What happens in Vegas ya know . . . . just sayin.

You could NOT be more wrong and still have a job

The weather.  We watch it.  We talk about it mundanely. We make it seem easy or horrible - but really?  This is the digital _ HD - FUCKING age and you tell me it's sunny and I'm getting rained on?  If I did my job this bad I'd be gone - oh wait I work for UniF? - I get to steal lie and cheat and still rise to the top - No worries.  Shockingly 


OMG - this is pure stupid on a freaking plate!  Figure this shit out before you post to me that today is gonna be good.

Okay so this is really about truth.

Et tu brute and all .

I'm looking for the truth.  Pilate asked.  and Jesus really never answered,  I guess He figured we would have to figure it out ourselves.

I am really still shaking trees to see what falls.

I guess it's all about fruit.

It started with fruit - forbidden and all

I guess it ends with the spirit.

That would be the truth  - Love Joy Peace Patience Kindness Goodness Faithfulness Self-Control  - Against such things there is no law.

We saw the Dark Knight yesterday.  It was hard for me on many personal levels.

I walk away knowing - this earth is not my home.  I love my people.  and that humans hurt humans for reasons we don't always get.

Life is messy - bring paper towel and baby wipes.

Condoms don't solve much - but are better than being dumb

Life is tough but it's tougher if you are stupid

And finally WEATHER PEOPLE FREAKING SUCK

just sayin.

If it's too LOUD . . .

I'd like to say you are too old.  But I am revamping this to say if It's raining and looks nasty - freaking bail.  We got boos.  They are now under water,  sorry.  I like Kiss and MC.  I like not being soaked more.  Peace.

when killing clowns - go for the juggler!

So what scares you?  I don't mean like a knife wielding psycho in your own (or Bates related ) bathroom.  I mean those "seemingly"  not making NORMAL (right - like normal is not just a setting on your dryer) sense sort of - I'm scared of this for really no reason but hey me and my analyst are okay with this - -- - (if I saw one - they would be on this!)

I am afraid of frogs.  all amphibians though I personally have never meet a Navy Seal and something tells me I'd much more want to kiss him than run . . . But that's another post.

I hate them.  Irrationally.  I know that.  My super awesome - sees and fixes people's brains for realsies Master's in Psychology and all that official shit -  SISTER Kristen - (almost like SISTER CHRISTIAN but cuter and blonder and less Night Ranger) is afraid of  . . . spiders.  Like crazy.  I can kill them no major (only some minor creep factor = but I GOT THIS ONE!)  problems - YES!

Yet.  I freaking hate frogs and snakes.  I run.  a lot.  in swamps - yeah.  fix me now.  that's where I live.  and work.  I'd like to say for the record - I thought that little dead bird that made me jump - perhaps a little higher than my SUV - LOOKED a lot like a frog.  it did.  no lie

I can't fix this.  I just hate them.  THOUGH - progress made - the little I MEAN LITTLE like pinky toe nail little ones are kinda cute.  In a future serial killer sort of way.

I just can't - I get that.  But clowns?  HUH?  They are just lame in my book - like freaking mimes.  Lord?  If you can do something funny and if Roger Moore can dress up and look like a moron - oh wait he's not my favorite Bond - not scary just not my personal favorite creature. . . clowns are just a "persona" - that Stephen King decided to make super evil - til some chick in a SUV decided his ass needed to go DOWN . . . oh well.  I read his writing.  up until after The Shining. " Officious little prick . . . " had me at hello.  course I was 11.  After that I got most of it though he lost me.  Lost his muse or whatever - I digress. . . .

Then there was Rob.  Rob Zombie who brought us the illustrious Cap't Spaulding.  Still one of my favorite movies I can't ever watch again.  (house of a thousand corpses and the devils rejects - but who's counting)

I'd love to hear your irrational fears.  They are irrational for a reason. - I know some OCD crazy people and love them dearly and there are a few of you who border on the ready for the nut house category in some regard but I am so NOT judge or jury so feel free to share.  I won't tell - many . . .

THE rabbit

Get your mind out of "Sex and the Whatever the hell the Manolo bitches were selling."  I have a rabbit and it's nice and purple but that is SO not what I mean tonight.  I want it.  Bad.  TLS taught me stick shift driving in a car he bought for me because his AMAZING super awesome Lillian Church Grandma died and left us a bit of cash.  T bought me a car.  5 speed Golf to be exact.  I'm German.  I like German cars (duh?) The Swedish are okay but the Germans? - besides beers and cars they are a bit rough but hey -  I love them dearly.  My first real - "Let me teach you" - moment was T.  And I got it in 5 minutes - and then was a permanent junkie.  I like my Volvo XC90.  Leather - auto freaking everything.  And that's it.  Auto. I control nothing but the wheel.  I want a Toy.  NOT a TOY - Dear lord my toy chest is FULL! LOL!  Thanks ANNA BOOTS!  (pure romance - google her!) I want a toy.  A car to play with.  I want to do this.  How come if my name is not Jose - can I NOT do upholstery?  Katie is a nice name and I'm pretty sure most guys would rather Katie does their work than Jose!  Really?  I can work it!

I want to learn on something I love.  I don't want an SS -  I'm not stupid - I know nothing.  But I want to.  I can do this and want to take you all with me.  I can change oil and do BASIC maintenance.  BASIC being the word.  But I need something PRE computer chips and shit I don't care about.  Really! - after I finish my Master's I better be able to buy myself the car I'd like to own. It rhymes with Mercedes.

Sorry.  I want an old one.  Not new.  But classy - tan.  or black.  But my rabbit?  I may leave her flat black.  or get some stupid color and do it crazy tie-dye.  

Then it's my Galaxy.  Grocery getter from Mars!    I need a garage.   clearly.  :D

my fair lady

WHY can't the American's teach their children . . . oh wait we don't speak it.  Lord, I'm pretty certain all we do is text.  I am sitting next to the MY fair Lady - musical.  Singing at the top of my fool lungs and thank you I can actually sing - classically trained .  BTW (bravo tango whiskey) Todd Oxley is to blame.  I has me some range too  The one woman I love more than O2 was raised without a TV and is the smartest mostest (yes bite me) amazing women on the planet.  She is the living Eliza for me.  Hearing her sing it makes me smile.  Hearing her in the chapel at Christmas with the marble and the lights and the WELL JESUS CHRIST FULL on grand piano  - she could have sung scales. . . . and it would have been moving.  But why?  Okay.  I guess we have Glee.  I get it.  We are trying to reinvent.  My kids are going to get schooled.  I saw every play - OKLAHOMA. Rainmaker. (yes the Tommy Lee Jones - MEL - i - sant.) find it - it will change you.  Camelot. Spamilot (Vegas - pretty coool !) . Gigi. Rock in Roll HS.  JESUS CHRIST - S.S. - Grease - Rocky Horror.    Singing or not.  Take your kids to plays. LIVE actors.  My darling clueless parents didn't get it but my sweetest fondest PREGGOR memory was when my darling sister Kristen took me and my in- utero daughter Trinity to Phantom.  GreenBay.  Was amazing - Every freaking time Christine Sang my darling Trin - JUMPED.  LIKE OMG jumped.  it was so cool.  My baby liked her.  LOL.

Just saying.  If you can find cool custard or things for your kids - really - the arts are there.  Please - DO IT. I feel like I'm slacking = We have been all about the Japanese things - I need to switch gears.  I can tell.  And Life is about to change.  After Vegas.  really really.

chris

cornell.  could sing the freaking phone book.... google him.  U are welcome.

Hat's off to the

bull. or all things Pamplona. - encierro   Honestly. Ladies can we please pull up the proverbial bar stool and chat a bit on this.   Please?  Pour a wee Pint o' Guinness,  or twelve.  Cuz' I'm sorry - I don't get what freaking planet makes you think it's a good idea to try to outrun a freight train.  AKA a 2 ton bull.  really?  I completely get the world of really crazy scary.  I decided to procreate and have little being's protrude from my nether regions.  I had small humans poke out of me - and I still - continue to feed them though they are starting to become a sort of milk drinking borg collective - and are turning into big people!  freaky? - I know! right?

So - um there are no women who think - "hey - there are these bulls - really Nicole - I kid you not - like they wanna just do this - you in?"   HELL NO!!!  As a girl all I can think is Jesus - if this isn't the DARWIN awards in person I don't know what the hell is?  If you die - GORED BY a FUCKING BULL YOU ASSHOLE - at-the-very-least the bull's semen will continue and YOU - genius are dead.  Thank you.  


What small part of out-running a freight train of sharp pointy things that are aimed at your sorry ass - sounds fun? Okay wait - I'm a girl and I don't "GET it" - like logic escapes the vagina.  Lord.  I'm not apologizing on this in any way and though I would have been Hemingway's freaking wet dream (okay so just in my head since he's mine) I don't care how machismo you are - it's dumb in triplicate.  But if my dumb boy wants to do it (maybe) i have heard the shopping in Madrid is killer.  Wait.  I hate shopping.  UGH.  I'm just not right. i guess.

Viva Las Vegas!

So the Roger and I are planning trip number 3 to Las Vegas.  We married there May 2008 and went back a little while later.  This current trip makes the 3rd.  Any and all who have been can please chime in.  Must miss - must do?  Sorry.  I love Vegas and Haters of it can just shut the fuck up - I'm asking for ideas.  I know a lot of folks think it sucks -  think it's XYZ.  And it really is all that and a pool of disease!  But it's where I want to go when I want to not be me.  Not be super duper responsible mom - office mamma bear - just sex kitten du jour!  Boots walking and all.

We have done some research so we know a few things we want to do.  Neither of us is big into gaming - but the topless pool at our hotel is apparently a big feature.  :D  Please share. I'm onto the slots at Ellis Island and their cheap really good beer.  :D Micro brew and Phantom of the Opera Penny slots! What is not to love?  We've seen Bite and Spamalot. Both good.


We are again staying at the Strat.  Married there (around the corner) It's where we know.  This will be our longest stretch.  VETERAN vegas lover's - please.  Share.  Beauty Bar is going to be our late night Monday sing fest.  Tuesday is nickle beers and a good dj.  Anyone want to join us?  Message me.  I'd love company - I'm much more confidant with a girl by my side.  :D  and I'm a great kisser :D 

Jambalaya and the jabberwok

So - after recovering from last night's PAINFEST (actually thought of selling tickets but really was just too bitchy to make change) I've been engrossed in a Lewis Carroll obsession.  I've always loved that crazy wacky pedophile (unproven though).  My next few posts may center around all things Carroll. Be warned.  Portmanteau's may fly unabashed in ginormous proportions.

BUT since I still am in marathon mode (yes I have this sick want to qualify for the Boston Marathon AGAIN - like FORREST meeting the President AGAIN - but I'll be too cool to grace it's presence).  Ok confession here - I only qualified by 2 minutes and then they changed the rules.  Missed it by a minute.  I won't actually run the stupid race -  since I HATE the Hoopla.  REALLY - I run because I like to and Richmond suits me nicely thankyouveryfuckingmuch.  One a year is nice.  I have a life and running and biking and kids "oh my" are just fine.  Lord I think I may actually need to finish a sentence here without paranthetic thoughts intruding. . .    I also cook.  Don't know if you've picked up on that before.  But besides madd sex skills and wild cool knitting prowess  - I feed people.   Though tonight I think I may have hurt someone.  Roger.  Poor man.  I haven't made my jambalaya in - - - okay a long time.  And I can pretty much drink straight lava and find it slightly unpleasantly warm. . . I think I underestimated the habanero power of the hot sauce.  I guess the proof will be sometime later . . .   And thank the stars in havana - we have a second bathroom.

So.  Katie's Jambalaya.

1 onion - rough chop (aka still recognizable as such)
1 green pepper - rough chop
1 head of garlic - rc

start this in a big pot over medium - move it move.  I like to move  it move it.  :D

sweat it and brown it - burnt a slight bit isn't bad

a pound of cut up chicken breast or thighs (my preferred though more fat)

throw it in pot

a pound of  - HERE is where the total foodies hit me on the side of head with skillet - I use lean turkey kielbasa - they use full fat sausage.  YOUR call.  It's your ass.

Brown this happy mix and again - move it move it.

I use hot sauce here.  and a full jar of HOT salsa.  I may or may not have been slightly heavy handed.  I really was distracted by pawn stars.  I do add some water to boil down and let the spices meld.

I serve this over rice.  I've taught you rice before.  If I gotta do it again I'm going to need something.  Yarn would be good.  Or just a hug.  Okay it was warm.  Habanero peppers are warm.  or so I've heard.  :D

"They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care; They pursued it with forks and hope;
They threatened it's life with a railway-share; They charmed it with smiles and soap."

I don't personally know what I am looking for - I thought I had found it at one point but if I've said it once I've said it thrice -  so that must make it true, I'm not so sure anymore.

It may be a snark I'm hunting for now.

short

and friggin sweet.  Okay I really mean fuck. I hate people drilling into my face.  I really think my Dr. Lee is great.  Amazing Dentist.  on that level.  That's my rational mind telling the adult truth.  Right now - I've had four shots of tequila and my face still is throbbing and food aka chewing is no f'ing\where in the making.  so this is not going to get more whitty than this pain filled bitch with the tequila hiccups is gonna make it.  If you are looking for whitty bantor -"I'm not Martha" freaking rocks.  I love her.  Not love  her love her but I really think she's great. bye.

I don't suck

shrimp heads.

Sorry - I wanna be one of the foodie cool kids - like Tony and Andrew.  But, while I will happily eat beef heart - I just can't suck a shrimp brain.  I've seen the orgasmic eye roll from those "in the know" but ugh.  I just can't.  I just can't. It's just too - well, gooey - red - juicy (not in a good way).  Here's confession time - If ONE of you - before me did it - I totally would because I'd be like yeah - you did it - I gotta.  But I try to do all of the cool food things I can - but frankly this one just loses me - much like the coconut crazy giant worm things that frankly look like the last friggin thing I'd eat even if starving to death.  I'm not bigger than my pay grade and frankly working for captain Uni - I'd starve before I got close..... hence the further schooling.  But I like to try things that other's think rock. . .  and OMG if you find a good (or really any PHO restaurant - GO!)  I mean NOW.  PHO 234 here is my new crack stop.  Their seafood soup is an early morning crave. I want it early - almost a coffee need only seafoodier (new word - wiki it) You HAVE to love anything that has fish balls.   I mean.  really?  fish balls.  I like all kinds of balls but fish balls just make giggle in middle school kind of way - and yet.  Yum.

I guess my point is try something new.  but know your boundaries.  If you hate liver my guess is you always will even if your amazing hot wife who actually loves you and writes like an SOB thinks you would like it a lot - even more than her red hair - my point is - prolly not.  If you've been tainted by the bad juju liver - there's no fixing that shit. I'm just saying a good soak in milk and not over cooking goes a long way.

But I'm not superhuman and things (chow mein noodles and frogs, alive - legs still attached) freak me out. Dead - those damn legs are delicious - but alive and croaking (that's actually funny - croaking! lol) I hate frogs.  Hate.  Yeah.  I actually went through deliverance (no banjo music required) for poverty and frogs.  The poverty part stuck.  Thank you JESUS - I'm not po no mo!.  frogs.  yeah.  Not so much.  Hate those little bastards.

And yet - I guess my overblown and lofty messages may have set a false sense of who I am - I'll try almost anything and yeah - I love the close to the bone food. - Bone marrow is better than butter - TRUST ME - wait no don't!  FREAKING TRY IT.  it's amazing in a non dairy more beefy way.  It's awesome.  Good for you?  is butter?  Live for today but still run or bike or even just walk.  Just move.  an hour a day.  then enjoy.

I can't eat bread - or most good things I want but I'm still kicking - pretty hard if you piss me off :D  But just saying - try things but know where you step off and respect yourself in the morning.  I know what I suck and what I don't.  "D

alcohaulin'Ass

Yeah.  inappropriate.  But just a song and such.  I didn't want to like Mudvayne.  REALLY didn't want to. But they are too smart (okay Chad  is super smart) I assume he surrounds himself with smart awesome people - just like my favorite personal artists do - yeah D.  Hellyeah is an offshoot.  I really didn't want to like them either.   But smart and clever just speaks to me.  You can't sugar coat good when you get it.  I really don't like getting screamed at so that is not my music of choice but when you find a band (FIND as in your person listened to it every GD day while working out as you were trying to homeschool below) Smart isn't always good.  I get that. Nietzsche was smart and frankly my GOD is still alive and he's pushing up the daisies.   Much like the ex- parrot.  Smart doesn't make you good..  But really it's a start.  My favorite people.  B,D, T,R T and many other letters S too :D  Of course my sweet sister K and well since I know my brother doesn't read this f you and text me if you are offended you ass.  :D  What I'm saying is that book education doesn't make you smart or interesting.  But sorry here, it is important.  Being educated is not cheap.   and it shouldn't be counted as such.  Why I'm starting my master's next month.  I get that the company I currently work for sucks ass.  Yes. it does.  DONE.  moving ON.  Follow me sweet S.

Sorry.  I digress.

The last 5 years have been hard.  And yet an education.  I'm much harder - body and soul.  You can actually bounce quarters if you want - though I may not let you.  I'm still me - but leaner - and surprisingly more forgiving.  Looking to do something outside the box here.  I live near Congress and the Senate.  Lady Heather had it really really right.  Men with power are looking for something else.. . . .. :D Need to find a castle . . . .

Cheap wine and roses

Or yarn.

So I am, actually an educated woman.  I married (both times) college educated men. I don't always drink the good stuff,  but I can tell a nice wine with all of the things (nose, legs, mouth feel yadda yadda) you are supposed to look for.  I can quote from a book or two and a movie or twelve, but consider me a moron when it comes to wacky things.

Jadite?  Yes it's dated and vintage but walking into an antique shop I can spot it from a 100 yards behind the salt and pepper shakers shaped like fruit.

Beads?  Sadly - beads are like crack for me - I cannot allow myself to go into a bead shop anymore.  I start to tweek a bit and want to buy every sparkly thing I see.  I must be part crow

Yarn?  Sigh.  So it has been established that I may be cheap (I choose to use the word frugal thank you) but I know good yarn and Dear Lord I HAVE barrels of it ("stash" as knitters know it to be called - and mine will outlive me and be passed on to the waiting hands of someone in an estate sale unless Trin gets her act together!) My stash is just waiting for the urge or whatever it is I'm awaiting for.  But sadly, walking through Walmart on this particular day and I swear I was NOT looking - THIS yarn jumps up and says, "buy me or someone dies."  Ya'll know my love for life so I paid the $2.49 for the Red Heart acrylic Mexicana skein and asked it - "what, exactly it would like to become under my personal sticks should I accept this assignment and not just throw it's demon ass into the fire!" (talking yarn really!)  It said, "How about a rocking white trash bikini."  hmmm, Ok.  There will be a cheap ass bikini made from said demon skein.  I may even wear it just for the thrill.   Or do an exorcism and then get my head checked out - I don't normally hear voices.  Normally.

You can't make this shit up.

Okay so we have established -  (if you've been following along) and if you haven't - allow me to recap for you.  It's hot.  no. it's stupid hot.  Our specific garbage is to be collected (yeah like Wheeee I collect this fun stuff!)  Wednesday - EXCEPT that this particular Wednesday was the 4th of July - which in Virginia for some stupid reason they take very seriously though I suspect they would like to pick a totally different team.  Just sayin. SO said garbage sat from Tuesday night (respectably) til TOMORROW.  Lord Jesus you don't know what 100 degrees does to what I'm pretty sure is nothing but dead bodies down my street.  Ever wanted to kill someone? NOW is your chance!  Kill them now and put them in a bag or two and stick them to the freaking curb here.  Peace.  You are free and clear.  They probably deserved it anyway.

I ran this morning at 5:45 til 7 am.  Birds chirping people getting ready for work and I almost puked my guts out 5 times there and back.  LORD have mercy.  Maggots don't scare me - but this awesomesauce of disgustingness is on a whole nother realm!

Then there was the random person sleeping next to the g.d. garbage container - SLEEPING!  Like it was as natural as childbirth.  NOT SHITTING YOU.  He scared the hell out of me.  He was there when I left - and was there when I came back.  Who the hell sleeps in a cheap plastic chair next to a maggot box like it's normal?  HUH?  Where the hell do I live?  Of course these are the exact same folks that ran the AIR CONDITIONER on the OUTSIDE last year.  Okay I get a fan - it's air movement and if you are outside okay - no wind make your own but an AC?.  no lie.  I understand that the south - wait I mean the SOUTH coddles their eccentrics but this is just postal weird!  I mean I'm from a freaking family of eccentrics - like lawn mower driving to the bar cuz ya lost your license.  Personally I'd just walk - but that's me.  Just sayin.  Seriously.  Lord really?  I actually have pictures. Dude is behind the garbage on the sidewalk in a plastic chair.  I didn't want to offend him by taking his picture - though chances are he'd have enjoyed the PR.

If you recognize family or friends here don't call or text me - really.  Just move.

It's.......

No not Monty Python's Flying Circus.  It's HOT.  Really really.  And tomorrow is supposed to be beyond Satan's ball sack into another realm completely.  And the sadist that I am - I freaking love it.  But to be fair to all who have to actually function in it all the time who don't have low blood pressure or low blood sugar and aren't anemic (yeah me) and don't freeze their butts off in an office so cold I go outside to warm up (IN JANUARY!) My heart really does go out to you since I know I'm not normal.  I know that normal people stay inside if they have power and air conditioning (VA is still some without power from LAST FRIDAY) I know in stupid heat that normal folks go out on the water - though my pool DOES count as water and if I'm floating it counts right? But I love heat and eschew all things cold - (though frozen yogurt is the exception and frankly if I could live at a Pinkberry with Trinity my life would be complete).  I'm being very lazy tonight and I know the heat does have an effect since nobody really wants to eat anything - it really does slow you down.  I know the SOUTHERN cliches -  the slow driving, slow talking - slow moving.  I now get the drawl - ya'll are in no freaking hurry since Lord Jesus - it's too much effort to do ANYTHING fast.   But considering I'm from the NORTH - Lord - about as north as Canada - I also appreciate that it takes til July for our damn blood to thaw so we go mad all summer and then get ready to hunker down for the winter.  Summer in Wisconsin is reacquainting with neighbors you only saw when you shoveled their driveway - or in passing at the store- briefly. Summer is a frenzy of picking which party to go to since there are usually 3 each weekend and you need to decide who you love better or who has the better brats (TIM.) Summer is defrost and chill (funny yeah) fireworks shot off by drunk firemen - and sheepshead in the street on the bridge - it's rafting on the Wolf River and beer on a sandbar.  It's too damn short but watermelon sweet.

Summer in WI is f'n HOT and humid - though I would clarify - VA is more humid than ANY Wisconsin summer I ever remember and I'm an elephant.  It's hot here.  Stupid gloriously hot.  I feel human - empowered - though.  Maturity stepping in here.  I won't - I promise - run again - at 3 in the afternoon when it's 100+ out.  I really (confession here) almost passed out.  I've never had that happen but almost.  It was close to my hour mark and I nearly didn't make it.  I got scared by a car and the adrenaline woke me up.  I didn't run today.  Tomorrow I drag my sorry butt out in the am before it's 105.

There's a phrase to "Bloom where you are planted!"  I really like that since my lemon tree and I really really like it here.  I know it won't bloom since it's from a seed I started after a Black Piston party we had a million years ago in WI - we had corona's and lemons and I saved a seed.  It sprouted and it's now 10 feet tall.  Thorns  but no lemons.  It's pretty and it it reminds me that even from nothing you can get something if you give it time and love and water.  But it loves the heat and grows bigger every year.  I hope to someday put it in the ground or in a pot that won't need to come inside very winter.  I hope also to be somewhere where I won't have to come inside very winter.     Peace.

I can see clearly now . . .

Yeah.  I can.  If you are someone who knew me or were related to me you know I was the kid in glasses from 2nd grade on.  I really don't know how that feels since my kids haven't yet - though I feel it coming.  But I was.  My poor parents . . my confirmation present was contacts!  LORD in heaven you have no idea the freedom  (though each eye took 45 minutes of backing up from my own contact clad finger) I was blind as a freaking bat.  Forever it seemed.  Until T. decided enough was enough (okay - I actually asked for something that cost money) and he relented.  Enter Lasik.  Aislinn was barely weaned but I was on this like white on rice lest he change his mind - this was $1400 - a king's ransom as I saw it . . . ! Well a year in the making - to take me from blind to 15/20.  Both eyes needed tweeking -  it really was a long horrible process but end of day - I could see.  Clearly.  Up to about 2 yrs ago when I noticed I couldn't see at night.  Then as I began to spend hours at work on my computer I really couldn't see past my computer clearly.  I fought it.  God.  I had worn contacts from 12 to 31.  Glasses at 7.  This was not fun for me. 

But.  I had a good run.  I can see just not clearly without contacts or the cool Sarah Palin glasses that will make every 40+ man want me . . . LOL!

I just am grateful for the husband who quite literally shoved me out the door to go to the appointment and makes enough $$ that a years worth of contacts and a hot pair of glasses won't break us. 

I know my eyes are valuable and I should not have been such a baby but it was a point of contention for me.  For me bad eyes are not an age thing so it certainly wasn't a midlife crisis. . . it was GAH - NOT AGAIN - thing.  I wanted to never cross this bridge until I needed reading glasses from walgreens.  Yeah.  Well.  I can see clearly now - and my hubby is cute.  Though he does have that mole I never noticed before . . . .

Chopsticks Rock

Yeah.  Purple thumb thanks to the freezer at work.  6 weeks ago.  So random thoughts continue tonight.. . . Chopsticks.  Roger and I are kid-less for approximately 6 weeks.  This was a bad thing last year since I decided to have a total nervous breakdown.  Working in reverse order - My kids left me to stay with their dad and his new wife for the first time people didn't need me to exist, Roger's mom (who lived with us for a year and relied on us for pretty much every freaking thing and was hard to be with because I'd never met her before) died.  It was weird on levels I won't go into because I don't want to hurt Roger nor his sweet family but suffice it to say I still have nightmares.  We moved to VA because my sweet man lost a job - and then a great company YES IT'S FREDDIE MAC - moved us lock stock and lemon tree (yes it's thriving!!)  Thank you sweet JESUS they did that because we were going to lose our townhouse.  My son spent a month in "lock down hospital" because we really didn't know Aspberger's was real.  (sidenote - it is.) I met a man I fell in love with in 2 weeks after I filed for divorce on the love of my life - my (then)husband and I parted ways . . .  Whew.  Reverse isn't how my brain works.  really I'm only a forward thinker.  The past is so hard since - like a weed - it wants to stay rooted and since it's only our perspective it may (is) a bit skewed.

So chopsticks.  This year is the year of regeneration as I stated in a previous post.  I love the fact that this is actually printed on the chopsticks.  I quote, "tuk under tnurub and held firmly - add second shopstick hold it as you a pencil.  hold tirst chopstick in original position move the second ong up and down Now you tan pick up anything."  Omg.  that is beautiful.  I tan pick up anything because I've been eating with chopsticks (I'm so picky about what kinds I stock) for 15 years now.  Almost exclusively.  They really make so much more sense.  You pierce nothing and can eat hot and sour soup with nothing more than a spoon and sticks.  Or maybe it's the stick thing.  I'm a knitter.  I've actually knit with chopsticks.  It's kind of a something useful out of nothing that makes my heart beat faster.  noodles are kind of like stringy yarn . .  . yeah it makes sense.

so. this year.  Nobody goes crazy.  I'm both on it and floating.  I'm in a holding pattern of sorts but I'm going to school for a Master's degree in Adult Education and Training since really what do I like more than the sound of my own voice teaching?  If you've met me - that is too too freakin true.  I want to train adults.  And sweet B - a master's would get me a gig in our library system.  Thanks to you I know that now.  :D

These posts will also offer a challenge if you want.  Eat with chopsticks exclusively for a whole week.  It will slow you down if you have an issue with food ("Are you big boned?" aka fat?) or if you just eat too fast.  I used to not eat during the day and be starving and literally make myself sick because I would eat too fast.  Chopsticks at the start will fix that - short of soup I'm now just as fast.  Try it.  Get good at it and then switch hands- wait - don't  - you will starve.  LOL.  Love you all.  And if you get to make or see Fireworks - enjoy.

The Vapors

I have been drawn to the Steampunk look for years but have never really explored it since - well - it's a bit of a commitment.  Like a tattoo,  if you are inked, well, you have ink.  You are tattooed.  Now - there are the wee little (ooooh just get my palm tree over with Jessie - I need to get back to Tony at the Tiki bar) and then there's INK.  I like to think I have Ink.  Committed and totally hooked but I can interview nicely.  Nothing up the ear -  nothing on the knuckles - I can still pass as normal.  But I love my look.  I don't have anything I apologize for.  I've covered a few things but well this isn't about ink it's about an idea.

Steampunk.

I'm a huge Jules Vern fan.  Much like some people get into Renaissance Faires (yes please) or Comic Con . . . I would do Steampunk or even Swing but that's another look and another post.  The Victorian Era is appealing on so many levels -  IN FREAKING RETROSPECT!  I like my modern plumbing and underwire bra thankyouverysecretmuch! It's a great look - but frankly googles and clockwork parts don't really fit my job nor life.  But I think what I like the most is it's a mismatched blend of what is cool from the past (yeah my version of cool) and what's cool from the future that never was - (again - my version).  I do mismatched SO WELL I should have coined the phrase.  I like taking my today and retooling it to a version that fits.  I have been the Harleychick - short skirt - boots to the knee - pony tail mama AND the Business Woman in the tailored skirt and Louis purse.  Still me.  Still inked and pierced.  I like the dichotomy.  I like Steampunk because it shouldn't work.  It shouldn't make sense - And yet it does.  Like a Magritte painting - it works because it's the unexpected but really not.  You expect me to say one thing because you view me as mommy Christian whatever and when I say the smart witty Python comment - it shocks you.  I'm okay with that now since I'm 43 (almost years) into it.  I still believe I'm in the meaning of life age - til October anyway.  I was an old soul - too smart for my paygrade - I'm ready to transcend.  More on my life choice - or at least schooling decision (thanks Roger!) later, but I'm going back to school.    


Oh and music choice to hear this is Rush's Vapor Trails.  


Really! - a word like "Vapors" gets stuck in my head and I need to follow it down the proverbial Rabbit Hole and it made me think of "getting the vapor's" like the Victorian's actually thought melancholy was a real condition.  Now, we have prozac for that.  LOL.  


Really, I personally think the vapor's were better. 

Shiny and NEW

I had never before understood why companies had their "end of YEAR" or even better - "start of YEAR" in any other month except the obvious - January.  January ONE to be exact.  That is logical and American and all things normal. Yeah.  I get it now.  You start when you say you want to start and it just somehow works.   Welcome to my NEW YEAR.  I'm new.  Not really - I'm not covered in meconium or blood nor have I recently been re-baptized - but this is my new year.  I always tried to pick an idea and/or topic for each year when everyone else is committing to a gym or a relationship or kissing someone random I would try to pick an idea to follow.  One year it was to knit everyday for a year.  Lasted about 4 days and then someone barfed on my project and I just lost interest.   The Chinese go bat-shit crazy at their New Year and that lasts like 14 days!  They even have cool special money.  I like that.  I want cool special money.

Why July you ask?  Well thank you random thought for asking why July?  I am a heat seeking missile named Katie.  When I say I am a sun junkie - I don't mean it like "yeah, I ski a little now and then and I guess I like golf a bit." If the sun is shining and it's above 80 degrees out I NEED to be out in it.  In a, "Hello, my name is Katie and I worship the sun on an obsessive level."   I crave it like a drug.  I've decided I am solar powered and that makes me look all "green" and shit.  If I were to die because of the sun or a sun related unpleasantness it would fit.  It would be like a sky diver crashing to earth and people then would say - well at least he died doing what he loved - or some equally stupid thing people say because they don't have a clue what to say in the face of death.  Though like the person who smokes two packs a day and drinks a quart of gin every day and lives to 93 and then gets hit by a bus - I'd like to say life is just that freaking random. . . .   I truly believe that the Jehovah, Yahweh JESUS God of both the old and the much hipper NEW testament TOTALLY rocks this place - I also am not so arrogant (right I just declared I KNOW who God is and I'm NOT being arrogant!!!) as to pretend to say I have any freaking clue what the Hell He's doing down here.  I like to think He's got a handle on things - what with being God and all but I also know that little kids die retrieving arrant balls in the street.  Life is just that random.  "So Debbie Downer," you may be asking - "what the heck does July and New Year have to do with anything?"  Well, Dear Reader take heart.  What I am proposing is that the word for this year - the word that is going to fit for my year - starting on this "SATAN'S BALL SACK" hot first day of July (and yes "Satan's ball sack hot" is a meteorological term - I'm certain they use it all the time on the weather channel) is "Regenerate."


I had been thinking about this a lot and tossed about some words that either made me sound like an anti aging campaign - Rejuvenate - Renew - Revive, or a Car Commercial - Re-invented - Re-engineered - Re-inspired.  I hit on Regenerate since like all of the other Re's I came up with it's an AGAIN thought.  This is NOT my first rodeo folks.  I'm 40 almost 3.  This block has been GONE around.  Yet, I get to do it all AGAIN.  THOUGH the beauty part is that THIS it - is a different it from the first time.  It's a different IT because I'm a different me.  I'm drastically different than I was 15 - 10 - 7 - even 2 years ago and I'm not just talking the crow's feet and laugh lines.  I'm flakier in some places and a lot tougher in others - but I'm still standing and people seem to still want to show up and love me everyday and that speaks volumes.   


Then there's "Generate."  It makes me think of a lot of things.  It sounds completely self-sufficient - like an alchemy of thoughts - something from nothing - a conception of what is totally new - uncharted and undiscovered but surprisingly -  has been there waiting all along.  


Also - it makes me think of something that was lost that is regenerated. Few things can pull this off successfully.  I choose to be one of them.  Join me.