Thursday, January 31, 2013

Okay really?

So - upon driving my children to school - in this month of reprieve and reinvention - I have listened to a lot of radio.   MOST of which there are not enough forks in the world to JAM into my eyeballs to make enjoyable.  I DO thank the sun moon stars and any fake god that made Iheartradio on my Apple thingies possible.   BUT I do hear the gossip and "whats happening in the media universe" for that 4 trip process.  (two kids at 6:45 - one lone child at 7:30)

Okay.  There is rape. genocide. our borders are past being invaded .  our stupid demonazi president wants to take our rights away. . . (oh did I say that out loud?) sorry.

The biggest topic is . . . .  a freaking Volkswagon commercial that has NOT even yet aired during the Super Stupid.  I mean Bowl.  Bowl.. Right.  Super Bowl.

Apparently.  Affecting a Jamaican accent when you are White.  makes you racist.


So.  there are NO white Jamaicans?

I saw the commercial and it's funny.  AND = bit of news here . . . IT's a f'n commercial.

It is supposed to be a wee bit off.  and make you WANT whatever the hell they are spending 60 trillion dollars a millisecond to air.

I don't really like football.  NOW the Puppy Bowl?  yeah.  I like puppy's alright but I'm not stupid.  I squeeeee every time I see one.  Hmmmm - let me pull out my genius IQ to think about this . . . . Puppy Bowl - designed for the chicks who are not so down with football?  Um - geez? ya think?

I am not from Jamaica.  Though I freaking rock the accent.  AND know that for the most part if we are to do the generalization that EVERY place that sells what they want you to LOVE about A (AKA Jamaica - or so I've heard since I personally have NEVER been hint freaking hint hint) PLACE. . . . They prolly won't mind if you make the "GENERALIZATION" positive.  like this place is amazing.  paradise.  right?  Unless of course you are . . . SOME White chick from a lame marketing company in "who the hell cares NY" borough.  Upper East Side I'm betting. SHE is super pissed off about the whole thing.  right.  I have bigger problems lady.  really.

I'm just saying.  Yeah.  Gun Laws?  Gun Laws only affect the good people.  They really really really really really really really DON'T fix a GOD DAMN thing!  No law abiding citizen who would actually abide by said law would DO what these nut bags do and have done.  I say - really.  Make it all fair game for like um - a year.  Darwin law I guess.  I'm kidding a bit.  I can shoot so - well.? . .  bring it dick.

If you really foolishly think gun laws will make our country safer . . .  really?  you are a special kind of stupid and delusional.  History has proven over and over and well, over.  If it gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling to know that YOUR bodyguard has a gun to watch over you but NO BODY else has one . . . then you would be Rosie O'Donnell or our President.  Either way arrogant and misguided.

I know I'm at this moment making HUGE enemies of people who probably ALREADY hate me  - and I say,  well.  So?

I'm not Jamaican.  wish I was really.  I could be the cool redheaded chick with the super TAN.   and that amazing accent.

Really? folks.  I wish America could get their head out of their ass (yeah just one) and get what it means to be American.  I get multicultural.  OMG I live in Hispanic/Burka wearing/Korean town!   I am the token white chick.  I was interviewed.

But America is not about tying hands its about freedom.  Last I checked.  You can burn my flag. And all I can do is cry.  You can trash my God and all I can do is pray for you.  You come to take my freedom?  You better back up because I am not from Jamaica.  I'm an American.

Monday, January 28, 2013


Okay.  I admit.  I like quality.  I do.  Finely made shoes.  right.  If you have had a pair of well made shoes you know that there is. YES there is a difference than what you could get at Walmart.  There just is.  It's in the craftsmanship and about a grand.  or more.

I don't have that.  Nor could this little Lutheran girl from Wisconsin who still thinks Starbucks over charges for freaking bean water that you could make very nicely yourownself. . . . do that either.    BUT  I get and understand a quality product.   Handmade is my favorite type of product since I am a dyed in the wool crafter - knitter, seamstress, beader and all around crazy person with pointy sticks and hooks.  I have worked with fabric that cost over $100 a yard.  could I tell?  not always.  Sometimes it was a ton per yard because some body's name was on the label.  Sometimes it melted like butter under my fingers and I wanted to do really really naughty things with it.  (I did not - for the record have sex with that . . .  um just sayin)

But sometimes it's quality and sometimes it's just a name.   That "Just A Name" gets me every time.

I like German cars.  I do.  I'm German (mostly).  Their engineers do some amazing things to automobiles that go really far fairly fast and do it so so nice and tight.  (I like my cars nice and tight - like Rick likes his eggs.)

I completely understand that sense of quality and pride in a well made product.  I stood behind my cushions (or for that matter sat ON my cushions) 100%.  My stuff - for the most part was as near perfect as humanly possible.  I wanted to be known for  excellence!  But my products were one of a kind.  ONE of a kind.  You couldn't go to Walmart and get what I made.  You couldn't even go to the Coach outlet and get what I made.  Coach cranks out their stuff one after another and you could be standing next to her at Starbucks.  Same purse.  AWKWARD!  does that mean I didn't squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee when i found a Coach purse just sitting there all happy to see ME for 10 bucks at Goodwill.  HELL NO.  I NEVER said they were poorly made.  I just won't pay 200 bucks for a purse that most likely will never have more than 7 tubes of lipgloss, 17 bottles of nail polish, a file,  horribly scratched up sunglasses from the dollar store (the poor ray bans are beyond hope) and about 56 dollars in nickels and penny's in it.

This blog is actually not about purses.  shocking I know right?  I am not the purse girl.  Boots?  hell yeah - but also not it.  I am a total boots whore.  Have more than 20 pair.  yeah.  guilty.  THIS is about yarn.  and I'm sure that I may have to continue this to a different day since now all of you have drifted off into a drooling coma of "yarn?" who cares?

I am all over the Internet these days.  I want to make this certain sweater.  It will become my uniform of the day.  like an everyday are you kidding me? take it off? NO way! sort of garment.  but it's designed to be made of that most amazing of fibers - one that starts harsh and almost crispy and then ages FOREVER into this gorgeous and lovely hand (that's fiber talk -  for it starts out stupid hard and gets like butter the more you wear it and wash it)  That fiber is of course  - linen.  I need 4/5 skeins.  they go for 25 bucks a pop.  Did I mention I'm doing all the heavy lifting here?  I'm making this thing out of sticks and string.  I will go from TOTALLY naked to clothed and ready for public viewing with just these few slight of hand tricks (and some blocking and sewing and other REALLY boring knitting finishing things we all hate but are totally important).   SO - again.  It's a quality thing.

Point of reference.  I am 43 years old and know what I like and what I do not thank you :D  I love yarn and am a horrible horrible snob.  BUT I will certainly NOT wear the fantastic alpaca/wool sweater I knit several years ago - AGAINST MY BARE SKIN.  why? you dear reader would ask?  You made it - for your body.  right.  short answer - because it itches like a MOFO.  BUT let me wear it with a turtleneck under - give me the matching hat,scarf and gloves I made and I'll KILL YOU at king of the hill.

Point is - different fabrics - different properties.  Different levels of awesome!

My daughter asked me to make her a sweater.  She designed it after a sweatshirt that she loves.  It's a bit of the batwing construction.  MOM, please take off the hood - make this part a little longer - oh and make it in stripes.    sure.

I know my daughter.  I would have run out and bought really expensive wool but it would end up in the washer without my knowledge and then only fit our smallest dog.  Or then what about a sort of expensive wool blend?  Okay that's what I set out to do but they didn't have the color she wanted.  So I broke code.  She got the cheap but soft yarn that is IMHO crap.  complete total 100% acrylic crap.  I will do it in good faith anyway.  There will still be love and care and design put into it but starting with crap materials has me a bit vexed.  I may scrap her yarn and find better.  Though damn it is soft.  But I know it doesn't last.  It pills like an SOB.  However, she's 11.  This is my last child and it's not an heirloom design - so I should just shut up and knit.  Walmart carries the crap if I get into a bind and need another skein.

just saying.   I am working through spending 120 bucks on string that I know will make me an amazing sweater that I could very well be mummified in and come out wearable for the excavation crew.

Or I just keep trolling the Internet or thrift stores for a linen yarn for cheap.  My guess is it's there.  I just gotta look hard enough.  Quality.  it's not a bad thing.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

a long time ago

So a long time ago in a galaxy.......  Jeez.  I wish I had a Galaxy.  Flat black. 5 speed.  frankengearshift. yum.

Sorry.  I like old cars.  Especially of the Ford variety.  ugh sidebar.

So a long time ago - even before I knew who Anthony Bourdain was.  Yeah that long ago.  I was a nursing mother and my then Husband and father to my progeny preached in our then church aka "cult of the holy reproduction."  His sermon was called - "Where is your passion?"  A fantastic and beautiful question.  I'm not sure if he's found his.  I most certainly haven't found mine.  I've certainly been passionate ABOUT things.  I really love God.  I really don't think abortion is great but unless you've been a scared woman/girl with no one to back her nor offer her help to make right on the life she is carrying you better shut up and not judge her.  I was both judge and jury once.  And then I was humbled.  just sayin.  don't judge anybody.  let God do that.  we are here to love.  R vs W was 40 this last week and I really hate that.  but then.  it's not all that important.  If God's people rise up and make places for these women to feel safe and loved.  Abortion - though legal would not even be an issue.  Just because someone CAN do something doesn't mean they will if the LIGHT shines brighter than the dark and seemingly -  only choice.

Sorry. Again.  Passion.

T.  asked this congregation to think about what they valued.  and really.  This is still an uber valuable question.  And one that still to this day some (gah. almost 13 years) later resonates within me.  I'm not saying what do you like.  I'm talking passion.  What makes you moan?  even if it's not in a sexual way but in a oh my GOD this tastes/smells/is so interesting/is so beautiful/look at the photo of that tree I just took/pintrest/ sort of way. . .

Okay if you are just joining us.  I can't eat most food.  I'm lactose intolerant so Dairy is out most days.  I'm currently out of the product called "Lactaid which does allow me "SORT OF" to eat SOME dairy (okay a tiny bit if truth be told - personally I think it's crap since I still get sick so I've stopped buying it.) and I can't eat wheat, oats nor grains.   I'm thinking buckwheat may be a go and may give it a shot.  But I can't eat bread/pizza/sandwiches/noodles/pasta/happiness/sunshine/freaking ponies nor unicorns.

I drink/eat my body weight daily in wine and rice.  I live on them almost exclusively.  and then there is that one thing.

that one.  beef heart.  ANGELS ARE SINGING > > > > > no?    Repulsed you are?  I challenge anyone to try my MY personal beef heart recipe and NOT like it.  MONEY back guarantee. How do I know it's good?  My 11 year old daughter tried it on a dare and now will eat it faster than I can.  SHE actually asks me to make it.   I make it taste like the leanest steak you will ever taste but it's mouth feel is so amazing.  I use marrow bones.  and roast them for a very very long time.  It doesn't have to be complicated but. . . . the question was - where is your passion.  My passion is making offal. . . not.

My heart is in this.  I crave it.  I wake up some mornings and crave PHO.  really.  if you have never had it.  find it.  your city has to have it.  chances are it's pho 234,pho 56, pho 456.  It's an address thing.  Get the fish soup.  get the big bowl.  thank me later.  it will feed more than your stomach.  your senses  - the ones that you forgot about.  your passion if you will - will awaken.  Thank me later and either dedicate it to me or name it after me.  whatever.  knit me something.  whatever.

so my passion?  guess what?  still don't know.  maybe it's what I'm doing right this happy happy second.  drinking cheap wine. writing and spilling what I think I know to the unsuspecting but seemingly receptive public.  I'd be a porn star if I had a) nice tits. and b) see A.  and was maybe 20 years younger.  OH and I didn't have kids.  and could only do it with my beloved.  yeah there's that.  So well shucks.  that I guess disqualifies me.  darn.  So hoping to never teach school in my later life.

so I guess.  the question still is hanging like ripe fruit from a late summer tree. . . what is your passion?  what do you personally make time for and then complain you don't THEN have time for?  If you want to be slimmer and then sit in front of a TV/Computer whatever and eat and then bitch you are too fat and don't have time to work out?  lie.

get out and unplug and go for a freaking walk.  it's too cold?  get a hat.

I sound bitchy but I broke things a while ago.  I get the "can't" run.  I still went for a bike ride.  I still did sit ups.  why?  it's my passion.  I ran a marathon.  yeah.  my one.  I didn't like the process.  maybe will again when kids are in college.  I get obsessed.  I can make my body do things it's not so happy to do but does anyway.  but I get selfish in the process.  So?  I limit myself to 40 miles a week and then we stop.  and 100 miles on the bike.  you realize I'm home 24/7 when I get outside job all bets are off .  . . depending on whether I'm a personal trainer.  or not.  kidding.  not really.  lol  That is a passion.  I like pushing my body to limits and knowing what I can and cannot do.  Heights?  Not my thing.  Spinning?  not my thing.  Weird food?  bring it.

So again.  My 11 year old daughter craves my personal version of heart.  tell me it is not awesome?

I want to share.  but huh?  maybe I don't .  Oxtails.  One of my personal absolute favorites.  are suddenly going up in price.  DAMN it.

DON'T eat Beef Heart.  It's horrible.  stay away.  lol.

I bought Kitchen Confidential.  And read it for the 5th time.  but this time it's mine.  I want to write.  and then be on TV.  or the radio.  let's be honest - I have a face for radio.    but I give some good voice.

I can talk.  If you've spent 5 minutes with me you know I can talk.  I may be a bit nervous and awkward, but I can talk.

Where is your passion?

I run.  I knit.  I like beads.  I love God/Jesus.  I love my family.  I love sex.  I love wine and good food that I've made. And I love what I'm doing right this second.  I'm sharing what I think with the universe. I really would love if a million people got this - but I know it's more like 5.  and that is beautiful.

where is your YOUR passion?  find it.  it really is important.  it may not become your job/employment but it's super important to who you are.  you really need to know.

just sayin.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Some good drugs . . . .

SO the other night my darling husband said something that reminded me of a TV show from my very very early youth ("yute" if I were named Vinny).  And that sparked quite the Netflix frenzy of show after show that I remembered.  Some of them were actually there - some we had to slum and go to YouTube to find.  Regardless,  Roger had never seen, nor even HEARD of any of them.

I was shocked.  But then again this was the early 70's and watching Saturday morning TV was not where HE was spending his time.   And decidedly it was a niche market.   I remembered it fondly.

However, much like Big Mac's,  Shamrock Shakes and Twinkies - I swear something has changed.  The Problem very well may lie somewhere between the screen and the chair,  but change it has.   Watching shows that I have NOT seen in well over 30 years - was bizarre.    If you are anywhere near my age (just this side of dirt! LOL) and had a TV growing up you may remember Sid and Marty Krofft.  You should remember the shows I am referring to.  HR Pufinstuf (right - no drugs at all!) Dr. Shrinker,  Sigmund the SeaMonster, Electra Woman and Dyna Girl, the Bugaloos, and Wonderbug!

These images were what shaped my early years.  The Brother's Krofft overblown sets and fantastical plots made this kid feel that I could imagine and do just about anything.  Which was great . . .  to a degree.  If I had ended up working for Spielberg or as a graphic designer.  I personally ended up in HR.  and not the Pufinstuf kind.  Still - I do believe that my level of fantasy and vivid imagination WAS somewhat shaped by these shows.  Perhaps that is also why I love Musicals so much.  OF COURSE people just burst into song while walking down the street.  why not?  My disbelief was suspended from the start.

Roger was slack jawed watching my beloved shows.  He was adamant that copious and varied pharmaceuticals were involved in their creation.  I could not disagree.

And the acting was  - um how shall I say this delicately? - the acting was horrible.  Really really horrible.  And though it was super fun tripping (tripping right?) down memory lane this stuff was really crazy!  If you have never seen any of these shows or have only seen the later version like the Will Farrell "Land of the Lost" don't bother.   I think it only works if you have a baseline.  Or not.  Go ahead and YouTube or Netflix Sid and Marty and see for yourself.   The brother's have been quoted to say that no drugs were used to create their fantastical plots or sets . . . I am incredulous.  Somebody HAD to have been dropping some sort of something to dream this stuff up.  Just sayin.

Hmmmmm Remember Mayor McCheese . . . .  from McDonalds?  Coincidence?  I think not.  Maybe it's my palate that has changed but a few years back when I could still eat wheat and dairy and wanted to eat at McD's for some dumb reason in the month of March, I had a Shamrock Shake and a Big Mac.  I finished neither.  Something had changed.  If it was me I do understand the adult rather than childhood preferences -  okay but this did not taste like what I fondly remembered  Ditto on the twinkie.  I am a huge nostalgia junkie (duh right?) so this was a blow.

I guess you really can't go home again.  Which is pretty much the plot of every one of these shows.  hmmmmmm.  Coincidence?  I think not...

Monday, January 21, 2013

that thing you do . . .

"You know that one thing we do one night every year, ". . . "OH YES Estiban".  . . . "well, we still have 3 months to go. .  "

if you can actually name this movie without IMDBing it you may have been a first time subscriber to Cable in the early 80's.

if you can name it.  I'll knit you something special.  bring it baby.

Now for something completely different.

I know I have sorta riffed on this before - that certain thing.  That thing that defines you as well,,,,,,, you.

I would love to think that I am more than JUST ass-length Irish Setter red hair and knitting prowess . .  but well ?  I  - at least own those two things.  I am MOST certainly more than that.  I would love to add great mom, good friend and sister,  great cook and adventurous eater.  Certainly not least LOVER and follower of Jesus.  But it's the things we see as the bumpouts  - the real things that we put to the forefront that really really make who we are.

For real, I am stopped in almost every store or venue by someone; by male or female to comment on my hair.  I have amazing hair.  I do.  I own that.  It's big and thick and the stuff lights up like a freaking ROMAN CANDLE in the sun.  WHY? short answer -  because I'm allergic to hair dye. huh?  hear me out.

I have always had a lot of hair.  I just do.  The thickness is really not manufactured it just is that thick.  Thanks mom.  That I can't say is anything but DNA.  Perms took quite literally HOURS.  My hair was stick straight.  I remember one perm taking 7 hours and I could not pick my head up out of the sink.  The weight alone was too much.  But I've been doing horrible nasty chemical based things to my head honestly longer than I can remember.  Really I was Brady Bunch era.  Perms were just the rage.

I colored it for the first time (not counting peroxide and sunshine or Sun-in) in College.  Went from Blonde to Burgundy/Pinot Noir red.

Got Married.  stayed red.ish.

Had kids.  let hair grow.

stayed red

got bored.  dyed blond.

another baby

dyed BLACK.  5 boxes. life as I knew it then stopped.

Head blew up.  Doctors involved.  Here's where stuff really went south.  3 dollar box of Cheap walmart dye will never be fun again.  Oh wait.  I choose life and not having my skin peel off again.  It was bad.  You - if you use color of ill-repute - need to rethink.

paraphenylenediamine (aka ppd)

I can never use "walmart" dye again.  ever.  PPD is actually a horrible chemical.  I won't beat anyone up who "CAN"use it but after almost losing my hair and (more importantly) my life I'll just say it's not pretty.

SO....  In comes henna.  Henna is an herb.  It's grown in the Middle East.  I like mine specifically from Yemen.  Though Saudi Arabia has some nice crops as well.

Brides get Henna tattoos.  It is said while the tattoo is still visible on her hands she need not do any work.  They like that shit to STICK!.   So we terp it.  Terping is adding essential oils so that it really gets in.  I use tea tree oil because my body likes TTO.  And because it terps like a mofo.

If you see a henna tattoo at a flea market or fair and it is Black.  um. run.  true henna is red.  or orange.  Indigo is blue/black but rarely done.   In fact I don't think they can.  Henna is red/orange.

SO my liability became my asset.  Henna makes your hair grow faster.  Repels insects (Goodbye LICE!) and thickens it.  My braid weights 4lbs.  Indian women who see me at the grocery store smile since they know why my hair looks the color it does.  :D

I will help you if you are interested in starting out with Henna.  I have been doing this for more than 10 years.  It doesn't have to be RED.  If you want to cover grey but not use chemicals that can hurt you.  Let me know.  I have connections and experience.  basically.  I got this one.  in spades.  really really

I have some crazy long hair.  It's pretty.  If you want to experiment with hair.  EVEN if you want short hair that is pretty.  contact me.  I GOT the hair thing folks.  I can get you red/healthy not red and jet black but with good stuff   and points in between.  PPD is bad and can make you really sick.

just say hey and I got ya.  

There is a saying that the uglier you are at getting beautiful the more beautiful you become.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I have killed

Jesus.  The bruise on my knee was the size of a nectarine.  and perhaps just as pretty.  not sure it smelled as good cuz my beating brain would NEVER consider reaching down that far without puking for certain.  God only knew what was in my stomach.   You would think I would remember that much of a blow but sadly it's a bit of a blur of sake.  toilet and curling iron.

right.  toilet meet knee.

curling iron meet arm.  Damn,  I hate burns that don't have a food story.   But, I guess having the best foodie on the planet in your air space counts as a food story but I don't have more than that to go on.  Damn it - I can't hold my sake.  Never could.  I distinctly remember a restaurant that no one went to -  in Brookfield(ish) Wisconsin just down from the zoo in Milwaukee of all places (nobody went - but they should have) where I ate one of the best meals of my life that I didn't personally cook.  Got fucking ripped on warm (I know right!) sake and well.  . . memories.

they suck sometimes

wish I had a full memory of last night.  Did I embarrass myself or was he pleased with my work?  Jesus help me remember.  all I could think was to find him and get him drunk again.  He couldn't keep his hands off of me last night so chances are . . .

okay.  hotel room.  food show.   AND damn this little Wisconsin girl does so love Singapore.  Sigh.   The view alone outside this hotel is beyond breathtaking.  It took a ton to get into this surf board shaped building as a room but hell - when in Rome. . .  and DAMN that view outside of the windows - naked or not is amazing.  I wish I could totally remember. And that sun is so rising and amazing.  Jeez,  I hope I didn't blow this - Damnit - this was my chance to make a way . . .  God give me a minute.  oh.   yeah.

and out he comes wrapped in a towel.

yeah.  I guess he liked it.

"ello love."

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Change isn't good,

BUT it can be great!!!

Today was the day I decided I NEEDED to cook.    Okay if truth be told I actually get giddy about cooking something different, something unexpected.  So after taking the kiddos to school. . .  (AND, yeah it's in two sweeps.  First the older two  - they need to be there by 7.  And then the peanut about 15 minutes later from reentering the house.  Yeah there is a bus - but way overcrowded and yuck !!! Next year it's same timing and that rocks!!!!  Middle school and HS are on an adjoining campus {would that -  in the plural be -  campi? lol  I am the living embodiment of that!!!} !)

So, today.

My "crazy grocery store." opens at 9.    I had a plan of attack.  This is a store that I believe only the bravest of white people face.  This is a store that caters to the Chinese, Hispanic, Indian and Korean market.  But my money is as viable as the next.   Color me shocked at 9:02 am on a Tuesday to be faced with WHITE women asking Evan/Jacob/Trevor to sit in his seat.  huh?  I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW HOW GREAT THIS STORE IS DAMN IT!  or rather yeah!  I'm not alone in exploratory eating - bully for you white chick in the "different than you" store!!!

I'm sorry -  but if Walmart or Shoppers or Food Lion OR pick and save or Krogers or Publix or Piggly Wiggly or Wawa or - you name the region and store if it's a chain that caters to MASS markets you will be missing the really really good food.  I only shop at Walmart when I need cheap butter.  or something that's equally AMERICAN.  crackers.  That's Wally territory.  BUT

Produce, meat, live oysters,  kimchi, WEIRD shit I didn't even know I needed but am now addicted to yeah. . .  that's were Global Foods comes in.

Today was $.79 for chicken legs.  HUGE girls really!   I learned today though that when you want meat.  (chicken liver to be specific) arrive a bit later.  Case was wiped clean from yesterday.  Note taken.  Will do better next time.  They were still bleaching the floor at 9.  right.  open.  clean.  THEN the "in the know" shoppers come.  right.  okay then.

We gotta do this again.


"Cheap cracked coconut chicken legs" 

OMG that was so wrong.  

Just saying dinner tonight f'n rocked it to the freaking astroplane!  

You know when you get the chicken parts that still have -  well, how shall we say - um FEATHERS?  
just pull them the hell out and shut up.  Chickens actually have these things folks.  really?  in the real world they do.  they lay eggs too.  just sayin.  

Now find these things called coconuts.  Okay trust me here.  

get two.  they look like what I'm holding.  If you pay more than 99 cents a piece run.  find another source.  jam something sorta pokey and phallic looking into the three bowling ball holes.  the bigger the better.  :D  you need at least 4 lbs of full chicken legs to make this work if you are feeding more than 2.

Drain the water from each coconut into a vessel.  keep that good stuff!

You are going to need  - all told:

A huge baking pan that either is at least 4 inches tall and has a cover or heavy duty tin foil.

2 coconuts
4lbs of chicken parts - mine were only the cheap leg parts
16oz of mushrooms - more if you like fungi - none if you are not a fan.  I can't eat onions these days so i skip them. sigh.
8oz of baby carrots
8oz of celery chopped into happy little bites
1oz of wizard (kidding)

wash your legs and dry them.  I cut off the crap and fat of each (mostly off the back) and then boiled that fat and crap in a huge vat of salted water for the chickeny goodness that makes for great rice later.  also know as chicken broth.

Heat your oven to 450 and put in some huge sweet potatoes or baking potatoes and just start that crap early folks.  why waste good heat?  Put the coconuts in for about 15 minutes than then ov'glove up and get those bad boys out.  Tomorrow we talk coconut goodness.

put the chicken in the bottom of the roasting pan, veg on top and coconut water in the bottom.  I had about 2 cups from my nuts - personally I left it covered at 450 for an hour.  freaking rocked.  potatoes were amazing.  skin was slightly over done but well - creamy inside.  there will be roasted coconut tomorrow.   

I got 9 legs that didn't fit in my roaster.  I put 3 in my cast iron that the kids ate first. was great.  I made yellow gold potatoes that i just peeled and put into boiling water and then mashed with garlic butter and olive oil.  

All I'm saying is that you gotta eat.  right?  daily.  once or twice.  or so. :D
if you find you go to fast food because it's easy -  I understand.  I still do it for the family because it's fast.  not for myself though.  Chinese and fresh Mex is about as far as I go for the other's making my stuff.  Not a snob just kinda freaky.  I like to know what's in my stuff.  I can't eat so many things most take for granted it doesn't even warrant eating out since I gotta pick off half of what I'm paying for.   

I intend to do more of the unexpected more often.  change.  is good.  really really good.  so is curry. :D


Monday, January 14, 2013

Be yourself is all that you can do ......

Gun for hire?

I got a call today for a job.  6 month gig.  WAY less than I'm worth.  but actually anything is more than zero so well,  though I was an English major even I can do simple math.   The only reason I am considering not taking it is that the drive is going to be hell.  I don't do hell drives well.  70,000 a year?  hell drive?  ok.  Driving here is super duper special.  think LA, Chicago and Atlanta put together and then make it.  worse.   exponentially.

I have kids.  Now, if truth be told this year is WAY better.  Liam needs me at the school - like not at all.  Last year I was there at least 2 times a week for quite a while.  It stressed me the hell out.  I was convinced I could never get a better job since I needed to constantly bail.  That is not a factor this year.  I think the worst is over there.  Now I just want to do something cool.   By cool I mean soul feeding.  UniF.  fed nothing in me -  but I loved my peeps and I had a great office.  Period.  The company was actually life sucking and I want that 12 years back (um I mean 2.  it just felt longer)

I need to be both creative and productive.  I need to be needed (see previous post) but I need to be in a positive climate too.  My previous employment was the opposite of positive.  I do own that (I felt a bit responsible for the frustration level) and leaving may have been my penance to try to correct the vibe.  I guess it didn't.  I can't help that.  But what I can help is learning to chill when chill is needed.   For God sakes I cleaned our freezer out today.  I'm not bored -  just restless.  And that has less to do with employment and more to do with personality.   I need to feel contributory.   Like a stream.  LOL.  (tributary)

I want to do something for someone or some entity that is really great.  I know some great people that need help doing things.  The school my son goes to included.  I'm taking January to figure it out and beyond that . . . I hope some things in the works - well, work out.  In the mean time. . . . I guess I just

SAIL. . . . .

Saturday, January 12, 2013

HEAR O Israel Our God is . . . .

Okay first and foremost I love love love Israel.  I wanted to marry a Jewish man my whole life.  Of course a Messianic Jew (um duh!) but Jew nonetheless.  I like to pretend my German/Pole/Danish/Mutt/Iroquois has some Jew somewhere in it.   There has to be some "lost tribe" in me right?

The Diary of Anne Frank had me completely mesmerized.  I wanted to be Jewish the first time I realized it wasn't just who Jesus was - but that it was also a culture and a lifestyle.

Freaking Sarah Silverman.  Why does she get to be Jewish and Katie Wenzel doesn't?  I could be,  right?   Wenzel?  right?  Yeah.  Got SS all over it.  I know.

Still.  Church tonight was amazing.   Right - Saturday.  Shabbat.  Yeah baby.  Good Jewish stuff.   I get all of the SHABBAT - REST....stuff Pastor Scott was preaching.    God did not need  - repeat - DID NOT NEED to rest from HIS labor of creating the world.  right.  He spoke.  HIS words created the freaking Universe.  Logos.  from which we get the word Logic.  the Universe is um . . . Logical.  He knew HIS creation even before we messed it up.  Which we promptly did.  prolly 900 years in.  just sayin.  we are good at that messing up thing.  (ask me - i'm queen of the world at that!)  But still - HE knew us and knew we would need Shabbat.  We would need rest.  We would need to just be still and know.  We needed - uh forgive me - a break, today.   or at least this week.

I am taking a bit of a sabbatical.  I guess I am liking it.  I don't rest well.  I like that NEEDED thing.  It's an active need.  I need to be needed.  I want to be wanted and yes Mr. Gabriel - I love to be loved.    I like to be liked.  and a paycheck is also a nice perk at the end of that week.

Well, I will be employed by someone or somebody soon so I'm not freaking.  I shook the magic 8ball that is my life and I know that I'm not going to unemployed long.   GOT that out of the way.   Still.  rest.

even unemployed and freed of pressure.  I still try to justify my O2.  but.  the HUGE   )( that was between my eyes.  is going away.  I thought it was the move here - but apparently UniF. wore on me.  apparently it aged me.

Shabbat.  Sabbath rest.  not a religious rest but a personal one.  it doesn't have to be Saturday, or Sunday.   It can be Tuesday for that matter.  God had it going on when He knew we needed to chill for a bit.  He knew we would stress the hell out of ourselves.  We just don't do it.  Then it got all rules and so many steps and stupidness.  Really He just wanted us to listen and chill.  But again we are Sheeple.  (see previous post on that)

Shabbat.  own a day and then just chillax.


Friday, January 11, 2013

strange sex? not love.

Wow, how many of you had Depeche Mode thoughts?  50 shades?  IKR?

(mom, that stands for I know right?) just sayin

Well, I was trying to find Sex, Lies and Videotape because I was having an Andie McDowell moment and was not in the mood for the same day over and over again :D so I was looking on Netflix.  sadly no movie.  But Strange Sex from TLC came up.  I am always game - so why not?

Cougar and Cub was the first show that appeared.

EWWWWWWW.  ewwwwww. and ewwwwwwwwww.   I do NOT like younger men.  for the most part.

PitBull I would make an exception for.  :D Si si si!!! Mister World Wide.  yup.

And Benedict Cumberbatch.  yes please on a plate?  Young men who are hot as hell and wear a MEAN suit?     Yes!!!!!!!!  A hot man in an extremely well fitting suit.?   IKR?!!!  (hey mom!)

BUT really I am NOT even remotely a cougar.  In fact I typically prefer older men.  again for the most part.  I love men who both know who they are and what they want AND have the drive to get it.  I don't really have "A" type but if you know me personally you know what I like.  Muscles, tattoos and facial hair.  Huge draw.  just saying.  making me smile and laugh.  Intelligence.  and self deprecating humor.  always good.  but again.  knowing who and what they want and are looking for.  huge.

back to topic.

strange sex.

cougars and cubs.

let's say first and foremost that I was taken to task as of this episode.  I was horrified at the beginning.  "OMG no way blah blah judgmental BLAH."  I am a bitch.  in the 20 minutes I watched this show I went from horrified to Oh My God.  Good for her.  I wanted to both know her and hang out with her in like 10 minutes!  I want to be her friend.  really!

She sounds like the coolest chick on the planet and if she can get men 40 years younger than her . . . well awesome!    She's not looking for a provider, husband - caretaker.   just a lover and friend.  who doesn't want someone like that.  WOW.

She is 73.

Why shouldn't she be having a good time?

Again.  Good for her.  I stand corrected.  Judge not.  Dance on Hattie.  God bless



Thursday, January 10, 2013


Right.  lol.

The world according to Katie is a bit of a hot mess.  But it's MY hot mess.  I just am so on a roll right now that I just gotta say something.  and before I say what is on my heart I gotta do the huge disclaimer statement that will have a ton of folks I know get their knickers in a giant twist but I am if nothing - a full frontal chick.  you like me?  then get it. or don't and then well, I'll miss you. PERIOD.

I try not to be rude, often.   But I have a belief system that works for me.  This is America folks.  I get to.  I pay the taxes that allow it.

I am not a doctor.  I don't play one on TV and I have no extensive formal medical training beyond the fact that I am a Red Cross Trainer and can operate an AED should your heart go into cardiac arrest near one.  I can shock you.  back to life lol!  I can do a lot of crazy first aid shit.  and teach you should you want to know it.  so saith the RED CROSS of America.  But I'm not a doctor.  I just pay attention and have a bit of "don't trust what the media is selling." bent.

So I have 3 children who came out of me.  2 home births  - glorious in their NON medical awesomeness!!!!! and one hospital birth - though my hospital midwife was the coolest dr ever!!! But early on - I hooked up with Christian Doctors who had it going on.

My first pediatrician  pulled me aside and said "For the love of GOD, don't vaccinate your kids til they are at least a year old since you are a stay at home."  I already had a good girl friend vaccinate her son and suddenly he stopped talking and communicating in like 2 weeks.  HELLO thimerisol!  OH I know it did nothing and was NOT to blame for the thousands of children with autism.  I know.  right.  follow the money.

Then my kids went to church with a child who had that day gotten the chicken pox vaccine.  Trinity had chicken pox in 36 hrs.  thanks.

I have gotten the flu from various people who got the vaccine that day.  several times. ugh.


There is now a deadly strain of Chicken Pox.  it used to be only a few kids with compromised immune systems died from it.  Now 1000's die.  vaccine?  oh wait.  you have to pay for it right?

Flu?  It's a f'n guess every year.  Most times they guess wrong - when they do guess right it's a crap shoot the freaking thing won't slightly mutate to be WAY worse.  JESUS!  stop!  please.  I've gotten the flu from people who get the nose spray more times than I can count.  pony up and get the shot and don't infect the rest of us asshole.  and yet.  it's a paid thing right?  it's not free.

again.  follow the money.

I am sorry to be so accusatory but I've been here too long to forget what I know and have seen first hand.  I know if you are a hot piece of ass in a tight skirt selling to a doctor (yeah I know who the drug salespeople are and who most of the medical field are) they buy.  right.

I don't believe that 80%of the doctors out there give 2 shits about "first do no harm."  I've met too many doctors.   They want to cover their asses and pay off their schooling.  My personal doctor is excluded.  SHE is amazing and I love love love her.  Indian women are freaking rock stars as far as I am concerned.  Nurses got it going on.  if you want to know something skip the doctor and ask a nurse with at least 5 years on her and she prolly has more knowledge you can use anyway.

So - I'm so x files, I know.    Don't really care who shot Kennedy.  glad they did.  just sayin.   perfect timing.

So.  I know you hate me but I pay attention and am a freak.  and yet unless I am with someone who just paid to get something nasty that will get us all sick shot into them - I almost NEVER get sick.

I had kids who got sick like ummmm all of maybe 3 times each.  really.  Trinity spent the most time with other kids and she got sick 2 times.    We did not vaccinate until they were 1 year.  Freak ?- yeah.  I know.  and my kids were not sick.  proof is in in the REALITY!  My kids get sick like one time a year.  And often I make them just ride it out.  And they do.  And become stronger because of it.  hateful bitch or just someone who thinks God made our immune systems to actually work?   I know I've made enemies but well. . . .    :D

Don't get me wrong -I'm sooooooo glad there is no small pox looming - oh oh oh,  wait it's coming back and we can't stop it cuz it's now mutated, , , , , right,  again.  

ugh.  imho

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

That thing you do.....

You know that saying, "Jack of all trades, master of none." ?  yeah it's kinda true.

We can all do some things pretty well.  I can run.  I can run fairly far for a white girl from Wisconsin.  I can run sorta fast too, but I can't run that far that fast.  I kinda top out at 8 miles per hour for about - 8 miles.  I can certainly do 26 miles.  But was it a happy 26?  f. no.  I fn hated it at mile 21.  I finished with a special needs guy and his family.  I got in under 4 hrs by more than I expected but still.  I'm no Kenyan.  Running is not my special.

I knit things.  I love to knit.  I crave it at times.  My hands actually itch to make something.  and then I let them.  My more than abundant stash speaks and then - behold it's a hat, scarf, socks. . .  . yeah.  I knit.  is it my special?  I guess that remains to be seen since I have a pattern brewing that may land me a knitty gig.  I hope.

I sewed for more years that I care to mention.  Is that my special?  well, I did it for fun and profit so that certainly qualifies.  I can lose myself for more hours than I care to share while doing it.   No.  it's not.  I'm good at it but well, I just don't crave to sew.  ever.  I can do it and do do it.  often.  passion?  no. just a talent.  I'm good at it.

so, what is my trade? so to speak.  I am thinking that I really like to teach.  I like to write.  I love hearing myself talk.  arrogant bitch - I know. right?

But I'm also a feeder.  And not just food.  I know a bit and like to inspire.  Geez - it's tattooed on my right arm!  I am if nothing if not an encourager.   I AM an encourager.

I feed.  I inspire.  I drive.

I'm trying to find my niche.

I will find it.

I know it.

Til then my beloved

I write,

be inspired.


Monday, January 7, 2013


okay.  I was a small child in the 70's.  I was born in '69 - peace love and good weed. or so I've heard.

In the 80's I rocked the big hair,  I was there when Video did it's dirty deed (not even dirt cheap) to the radio star.  I had parachute pants and MULTIPLE cans of Aquanet.   I owned my own untouched rubic's cube.  I loved my Merlin.   And Sinead O'Connor was as of yet undiscovered greatness but I loved her thanks to my friend Alan who had a computer he'd already discovered how to program when we weren't playing d'n'd.

 Pero muy importante!!!!  Atari !!!!  We had atari!  Played for hours!  And CABLE!!!!  all 40 channels!  I got to watch Rock and Roll HighSchool!  Joey Ramone!!!!!!  I was so so so into Punk!!!!!!!!!!!!

Driving with my girl friends for no reason other than just to drive. . . and listen to music.   Music.  That was the technology.  Tapes.  Then we called home from the phones in the homes of our friends when we would expect that we would be home.  and then we were.
or we were IN TROUBLE!


If my phone is not physically on my person I go into a bit of a fit.  really?  really? Katie?

IF I miss a text - or call?  does a human die?  I'm not a kidney donor.  I have chosen to miss calls at certain times of day when it did not suit me to answer.  but I guess it was me knowing XYZ was calling.  Now OMG if XYZ calls and I don't know it.  . .  .   geez. really?

I'm saying does having a cell chained to ones side by choice make us better people?  I still look at someone with bluetooth talking to themselves while walking in the store as suspect.  I always will.  It's freaking weird.  Just sayin.

I never.  ever. have my phone to my ear while checking out.  It. IS. RUDE.  If you do.  You are rude.  Just my opinion.  That person deserves your attention if for no other reason than to make sure you got all your shit.  This is a human.  Interacting with your stuff.  RESPECT that people.

If it was a computer checking you out - well then carry on.  But that person deserves more from you than a computer would.

Oh and just BTW. we CAN hear you.  If you are fighting.  we actually can. HEAR YOU.

GEEZ.  where did the bubble idea come from?  Just because you hear the person you are talking to - and just because you have a bit of history. . .  we are just shopping.  not involved in your baby daddy drama.   again.  love, just sayin.

I just wish that I wasn't so tied to my phone but I love having the internet at my command.  I just honestly NEVER text and drive.  LORD living in VA  - just driving and driving is challenging given the lack of driving ability in the shall we say NOT FROM THIS um state? people.  I'm an amazing driver IMHO ( :D) and folks here freaking SUCK ASS cuz if they are not driving 10 under the speed limit and pissing me off they are just in the wrong lane and then cutting me off!  OR Texting and NOT DRIVING.  I only text at red lights.  AND even then I look up to see.

Really Mija?  pay attention.

So, just sayin.  People matter.  If you are facing a human and interacting. . . . they win over a voice on an apparatus.

Be aware of your surroundings.  If you are having a fight. on a phone. in public.  well,  chances are you aren't someone who reads this so please, Snooki carry on.

If you aren't that numb to your existence  - just please make the effort to realize that your conversation is more than just yours if you choose to do it in a public forum.  And that the person next to you in line is kind of there because of random chance.  They really don't want to hear about your latest sexual conquest, pap smear or mom's breast cancer results.  We aren't your sister,  friend (though feel as though we know enough) or spouse.   Please just pay attention.  We are all just getting through this til Jesus comes back.  or we get to go home ahead of time.  I'm riding a bit of a lull in the tide.  Trying to realize I get to enjoy it.  I hate allowing myself a freedom.  I'm afraid I'd enjoy it.  GOD DAMN,  I'm so Lutheran to the soul.   I get to like beer, coffee, and hymns.  :D  yeah COFFEE!

kidding.  I love hymns.  Just done by other artists and not sung by people who can't or HATE to sing.  Beer.  oh.  dear sweet beer.  made from things that make me sick now. . . . .

technosavvy?  I take that honestly these days.  I know enough to be more than deadly.  I plan to do some major damage in the world.

in a good way.  just sayin.  So. folks,  I love you all = but be good to those you touch.  even with air, be good.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Idle hands

SO I Personally know that I have a certain amount of ADD.  I have spent years concealing it.  I can "multitask" like a mofo!  but if truth be told I just have ADD.   I know it,  you know it  - geez, anyone who's spent 5 minutes working with me knows I try to hide it but, well, I do.  YET, If I don't care about what I'm doing I won't succeed.  If I care - I mean really CARE I'll freaking rock the hell out of it.

But I have a certain amount of "oh look a chicken!"   Frankly that is part of why I'm not sitting in the faux leather (aka vinyl) chair any longer.  I don't care about Ufst.  I cared about the people.  I paid them.  I didn't care about the company that f'd us over repeatedly.  we were the quintessential "RED HEADED STEPCHILDREN!" I don't actually care about the details since I've gone - Okay that's a huge lie.  I care.  I am me after all.  I just can't afford to care.  personally.  I don't have that much in my emotional bank.

but - how do I do.  nothing.  quit. done. cut - as they say loose.  I have ten thousand tons of yarn  - beads and crafts to last a lifetime of Sundays.  and yet.  I'm lost.  TODAY I knit a bit and ran and now I'm writing but I'm forcing it.  I guess it's just shock.  I try to always earn my keep.  I cleaned like a crazy person.

I realize I don't need to justify my existence -  since this was a mutual decision to quit Ufst.   but still - I'm me and well,  Idle hands are - well, some one's nasty sandbox - or something :D . . . but really I can't just stop.  you know, being me.  I'm uber driven to move.  conquer. control. drive. write. create. inspire. ignite.  . .  ignite.  yes.  that is the word.  I want to ignite.  that is my word for the year.  2013.  let me ignite you.