Sunday, January 31, 2010

F' the French

Okay so those of you who strangely love me and follow my life (gah why?) know that I hate the french for so many reasons but mostly because they cook better than anyone and don't give a fuck what we think. HUH? I am "merican" you better care - well - no not really. So now after a long and sadly one sided affair with Anthony Bourdain I am left with this need to cook - um French things. AND another book to add insult to injury - Bob Spitz - the Saucier's Apprentice. I've been undone. I need to learn to cook French - speak French and most importantly - I want to go to Brittany. NOT France they can still kiss my ass. And it's really tight now - email me and I'll give you my exercise routine - it well, kicks ass. ANYWAY, God Damn them (not that they care) I need some of this and I don't know who or what do do about it. I am this close to the Rosetta Stone - French as I have ever been - someone talk me down - or maybe I'll just take up smoking and wearing berets. Though strangely something tells me this just won't cut it. My daughter Trinity turns 10 (I am actually having a hard time with this one) and we are having a juice and cheese tasting party. I want to introduce caviar as well. Why? Dunno, just need to make this a big deal. My mom was great, but I want to be the "get it" mom - though I am the biggest hard nose bitch you will ever see. I love my kids but never expect to be their friend until they are at least 25 and/or married or something. I don't need my kids to be my friend unlike my husband. I really don't need these folks to like me - in fact that makes me suspect. BUT why do I need to do this lavish affair. Um midlife crisis. Perhaps. I feel something big coming and am trying to ignore it. Dunno - wait for the next installment. It's coming. Soon.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

It's raining it

Shamrock socks

Good gravy batman it's freaking pouring here in Wisconsin! But honestly I'll take 40 degree weather in January anyday! Finished my crazy easy afterthought heel socks with KnitPicks Shamrock yarn in the now defunked color Kelley. They turned out cute and very simple but that was exactly what I wanted - cute and simple.

Super easy peasy lemon squeezy socks!

2 skeins Shamrock
a yard of waste yarn
tapestry needle
4 double points sz 8
For me it was cast on 36 stitches on 3 join in the round and being careful not to twist!

k2p2 around for 22 rows.
st st for 6 rounds

join waste yarn and knit 18 st onto one needle
go back and reknit the 18 with the shamrock
so now you have 18 stitches on needle one and then 9 st each of the other two.
knit around for 6.5 inches
begin toe decrease
needle one ssk knit to last two stitches k2 tog
needle two ssk knit to end
needle three knit to the last two stitches k2 tog

knit one round even
repeat decrease round

repeat these two until 20 st. remain

divide onto two needles and close with kitchener stitch.

Afterthought heel
remove the waste yarn put it each side on three needles same as the toe. Decrease rounds just the same as the toe.

when 22 stitches remain close with kitchener stitch

weave in ends and wear with pride!