Wednesday, June 5, 2013

invisible walls

"Something there is that doesn't love a wall . . .  "

Okay.  I am a TOTAL lover of walls.  and fences.  barriers and hedges.  I am a very very private person when it comes to my home.  If you are welcome and I trust you as friend - then you have an open invite 24/7 to my home and all that that entails, you have a room and clean sheets and I'll cook for you and entertain you completely -  but if not welcome then I would rather not see you in my private domain.

It's just who I am.  I will certainly HELP a stranger but I'm always on guard.  Too many episodes of "Criminal Minds" I guess.  or perhaps I just know the world we live in.   I trust God and try not to be stupid at the same time.

That said.  a war of sorts has begun.  I knew it was brewing a while back but now it's in full armistice mode.  lines being drawn - battle plans discussed - weapons made ready.

"Good fences make good neighbors."

"before I built a wall I'd ask to know
what was I walling in or walling out,
something there is that doesn't love a wall. . . "

I understand our chain link fence that keeps our canines from both hurtling themselves into traffic and mingling with neighbor dogs.  I understand the fence around our pool that keeps eyes off of the females that reside in our house. . .  aka myself and girlies.

I guess I understand walls and fences.  they are known boundaries.  I KNOW good fences - aka boundaries DO make for better relationships since they establish what is okay and what is not okay.  What is acceptable given who you are in relation to who I am and such - all that I totally understand.

Then comes the hardest of the boundaries. . . the unwritten.

We have,  as a family in the last 6 months undertaken a huge renovation of our front & backyard.   We built a garage and tore apart our front.  Blocks now rise where there was once mangy grass.  Cement where there was nothing and a gorgeous garage where there were once crappy sheds.  amazing and SOOOOO pretty.  and so. . . .

We systematically pissed off our UBER jealous neighbor who has lived in his tiny BUT well kept house for a million (or so) years in one fell swoop. He does NOT have a garage.  and is struggling to live day to day but is very very very very very (did I say very) protective of his yard and also the public property in front of his house.  We had to have our gas line replaced by the GAS (FREAKING) COMPANY since they discovered (oh my!) it's leaking.  in two places.

did I mention - not our fault yet?

they started at 8am and did not finish til 10:45pm!!!  street blocked off - and wait for it wait for it . . .  they were parked in front of his house.  He had the balls to ask the gas company to move.  There was a dangerous gas leak but he wanted them to leave or move out of the PUBLIC parking in front of his house.

Let me stop here and say - I like the man.  I understand him on a pretty good level and I know in my heart he's a good guy - but WRONG in his thinking.  But I want to make nice.  Since I live here and wars among neighbors NEVER end well.  I take the high road.  I give him handmade bread and beet seeds.  I make peace.

But bread and seeds will not stop a jealous heart.  Nothing can.  I know he's plotting  - since that's what jealousy does even to nice people.

We are within code and GOD WILLING will be done with this crap soon.  I want my privacy back.  I don't do well with workers in my yard - nice though they are - and I have a blueberry I NEED to get in the ground.

Roger is threatening to put up a 6ft fence between us and our neighbor.  That would kill his garden.  AND would be a horrible thing to do and I refuse to let it happen EXCEPT as a last and I DO mean LAST resort.

But like I said - battle lines and plans. . . .

I try to walk in the feet of the one who said (paraphrased in JC's words) GO the EXTRA mile . . .

Wars with neighbors NEVER ever ends well.  but I can't fix a jealous heart.  only God can do that.

I'm so happy for what we have done to our house I really don't want this to overshadow and will try to not let it.

Perhaps I need to bake more bread.  And pray.  If you could all join me I'd be thankful.

I have an Amish - (aka Mormon) bread starter going.  Got my bases covered I hope.


Robert Frost - Mending Wall

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors'.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say 'Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me~
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."