Idle hands

SO I Personally know that I have a certain amount of ADD.  I have spent years concealing it.  I can "multitask" like a mofo!  but if truth be told I just have ADD.   I know it,  you know it  - geez, anyone who's spent 5 minutes working with me knows I try to hide it but, well, I do.  YET, If I don't care about what I'm doing I won't succeed.  If I care - I mean really CARE I'll freaking rock the hell out of it.

But I have a certain amount of "oh look a chicken!"   Frankly that is part of why I'm not sitting in the faux leather (aka vinyl) chair any longer.  I don't care about Ufst.  I cared about the people.  I paid them.  I didn't care about the company that f'd us over repeatedly.  we were the quintessential "RED HEADED STEPCHILDREN!" I don't actually care about the details since I've gone - Okay that's a huge lie.  I care.  I am me after all.  I just can't afford to care.  personally.  I don't have that much in my emotional bank.

but - how do I do.  nothing.  quit. done. cut - as they say loose.  I have ten thousand tons of yarn  - beads and crafts to last a lifetime of Sundays.  and yet.  I'm lost.  TODAY I knit a bit and ran and now I'm writing but I'm forcing it.  I guess it's just shock.  I try to always earn my keep.  I cleaned like a crazy person.

I realize I don't need to justify my existence -  since this was a mutual decision to quit Ufst.   but still - I'm me and well,  Idle hands are - well, some one's nasty sandbox - or something :D . . . but really I can't just stop.  you know, being me.  I'm uber driven to move.  conquer. control. drive. write. create. inspire. ignite.  . .  ignite.  yes.  that is the word.  I want to ignite.  that is my word for the year.  2013.  let me ignite you.