Never ready

The first paragraph to my book is:
"I have killed everyone I have ever loved. Some have burned to death in firey car crashes, some have gone softly in their sleep. Some have shot themselves and some have had heart attacks. Regardless, all have died in varied and myriad ways. Still there I was, in my mind - at the funeral looking regal in my basic black - sobbing or stoic depending on the particulars of the situation. Suffice it to say - no matter who or what happened - I (heart and mind) was ready when my specific loved one passed."

Bullshit. No matter what and no matter who you are never ever ready. If you have no warning or if you have tons - years of slow demise - you, if you truly love someone are never ready to say goodbye. I really don't even care if you know - Know - KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that you WILL see them again. There is no ready. Just knowing that there is peace that passes understanding is slightly enough. Slightly.