I quit my bad and under appreciated job in December of 2012. in that lull I did exactly fucking nothing. I mean really fucking nothing. I barely wrote. I pretty much just - cleaned my house - ran umpteen miles. and then knit things I ended up frogging (yeah that's right). aka. I did fucking nothing.
There are certain camps that say that is a depression. prolly.
Those are not the camps I'd send my kids to for fun but I get it.
I had decided that I needed a year. I needed a year to breathe - but really I have no idea what that means. I think breathe EQUALS or "means" lazy so I'm at odds with what I originally set out to do. yeh me to subvert what I wanted to do!!!!
Trinity kind of shook me out of my knitting slump. and I quote, "yeah mom you get these knitting books from the library but you really don't knit that much lately."
no. I don't. I don't do anything of any substance lately. what I do goes to the wind.
I run. I sweat. I breathe but nothing permanent.
That is done.
Connor Howard left today. I miss him. but honestly - he's not my kid. He's too easy. My kids are hard and have issues. I'm certain he has issues but when you get him 2 of the possible 52 you only get the surface.
It's funny - when I run. the first 8 miles are the hardest - after that is gravy until 15. why is that? I hit a groove and it's fun. before it's a fight for every 3 miles. then after 8 it's a free ride. I can do 8 miles an hour so that's not a timing thing. it's just weird.
You sign up for one thing and it ends up in another state. Not bad - just different.