Sunday, November 13, 2011

Running rules - bring a towel

Okay so I have been running as a fun exercise thing since very early on.  Okay so I WAS in track in HS  - though it was hurdles and short distances and then briefly did I do CrossCountry OMG a whole freaking 2 MILES.   If I could put that into bigger caps it would be the size of my head since that's really how I saw that whole   "MILE" thing.

Flash forward to 1986 -  Married to THE Tim - I was working at a software firm as help desk PRE kids.  I thought it would be "fun" to start running on my lunch hour.  Welcome to the world of no toenails and blisters.  I fell in love with being sweaty and tired.   AND then had kids x3.  Jumping rope in my living room kept me home for the peanuts and kept me fit.  Enter the Bucket list.

I decided to run a marathon before the marathon was past my age group.  So being married to THE Roger I let said family know this was in the cards and for the next 8 months Mommy (aka wife) would be preoccupied - focused and otherwise a crazy person until November 12 around noon.  And that is pretty much how it went down.  I over trained - over ran and pretty much began to hate all things running and shoe related.  But still I continued.  I had blisters on my blisters and then it happened.  The end of all things good.  Day light savings time.  Could you shoot me in the freaking head already?  I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep but then it was basically only one week to MARATHON - GOAL - You know the thing you have been training for like FOREVER!!!!  I had lost sleep and almost lost my husband to my methodical "gotta run" philosophy.   It was in my sights and I had trained hard for it.  I was gonna do it - but I really just wanted it over.  I did.  I wanted to be post "first one" so that like a veteran I could talk the talk and move on.  Being a marathon virgin sucks.  You are just "in training" until you cross that line.  THEN you got it.  You are the shit and it matters what you say.  Okay to another runner at least.  But just saying.  It means something to gut it out when your body is screaming at mile 21 that what you are doing is shear madness and unless you stop there will be anarchy.  All systems will stop and you will be a puddle lying in the street - we promise you girlfriend - we are serious and we have such power.  AND then you get a powerade and suddenly all systems go.

BUT that is not what this is about.  This is a call to runners of the world.  Really? you need to farmer snot?  I am from Wisconsin.  I know from snot.  I have run for years.  WITH a towel.  NOW you may say that I've read far too much Douglas Addams - and that may be true - but dear Jesus.  really.  My snot does not need to land on another runner.  bring a towel people.  your ass is full of bottles of weird liquids that frankly as far as I see are futile since there is a water/powerade/ gel break every 2 miles.  You are bouncing like JLO on the dance floor and yet a tissue is not to be seen.  Thanks.  ALSO.  If a girl is approaching you and you are running in an odd fashion - let me pass.  Thanks.  You are scaring me.  Strange man with no shirt and only a speedo.

Frankly it's all good and at mile 25.5 I got to sprint to the finish and felt like a freaking rockstar.  I finished in good enough time to qualify for the Boston.  Hello?  really?  I would NEVER do it but hey - YEAH!  bite me.  I'm good thanks.  Roger is thinking he wants to do the Richmond next year with me.  I say -

bring a towel.  :D

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