Thursday, December 15, 2011

Band Aids and Artificial Trees




So driving to my 11 yr old's 6th grade band concert yesterday (yeah a whole lotta flat) My youngest daughter asked me, "Mom, why don't we have a real tree?"  And my immediate response was, "Because I hate the smell and inconvenience of a real tree and I can count on a fake one!"

Wow.  That actually set me back.  My WHOLE life growing up we had "real" aka cut (dead) Christmas trees.  And to me that always seemed wrong.  Maybe that's why I hate cut flowers. I do.  I love roses.  They smell amazing.  So grow them.  Cutting them and shipping them KILLS THEM.  Sorry.  I do love roses.  I hate dead things I guess.  I learned a lot last night.  I strongly dislike people who don't take their screaming 3 yr old out of a concert that other people actually want to hear.  I really wanted to pull out my bitch card and remind them that in America when our unruly child is acting up we do something that respects the other parents in the room but my spanish isn't that profound so I thought they wouldn't get it.  Yeah that's where I LIVE. 

So how does this get better - well I learned a lot about my person - I pretended that an evil (I'm exploding your brain with my thoughts - thanks SHELDON!)  look was gonna cut it - NOPE they just let their stupid kid cry.  It was up to me to either let it ruin my time - or get up and say something or kill them.  And since I don't think I'd like prison food I chose to ignore them and knit.  It did get better and after an hour we were on the road home and I still had no respect for the dumb (fill in the blank) let their stupid kid cry but my child finished and was awesome!  I love being an American but I personally dislike my president and most of the philosophy of the VAST majority of my country.  I don't want a hand out or up or down - If I fall down I better be able to pick my own self up - or hope that I paid the insurance to fix my mistake or accident or whatever.  I like responsibility.  It's empowering.

Band aids -  I have also learned  - are gross.  I discovered that about me.  I like real fixes.  I don't like fake band aids and I HATE real ones.  Band aids in the medical sense -  cover wounds.  They don't fix them - only time -  healing and GOD can do that.   But "band aids" are what you do to sort of fix something today until it bites you in the ass later and THEN you deal with the real problem.  That is dumb.  Drinking too much vodka because your life at home with the person you are married to -  is a band aid.  It's dumb and only really hurts you (and your liver!)  REAL used band aids gross me out because my beloved children think that they are made of gold and everyone should own stock and touch them wherever they choose to shed them!  UGH !!!  YUCK.

Just saying.  I like things I can count on.  Things that I can't lose - forget or ignore.  Tattoos can't be stolen lost or ignored.  But happily CAN be covered.  Piercings are the same.  God rocks and is the same yesterday today and forever.  People are eternal - just need to know where to find them later.  I pick peace and love and joy.  Look for me later - I should be there.  Not believing in anything fake.  :D

Basically - I like the fake things that are fake for a reason and the things that are supposed to be real for a reason.  I guess it's reason that I like.  I am sorry and I know that I will alienate a lot of people when I say I hate useless things - since art is seemingly useless.  BUT since I am a knitter sewer creator and crafter - I just choose things that are like me - MULTITASKING.  I hate things that just collect dust.  If you don't make bread but just sit there waiting to cut a turkey once a year - BYE! (that was a total random dig on my husband keeping the ultimate UNITASKER in the world - a board with spikes and handles to hold a turkey steady while carving it.  - nice idea but HUGE waste of precious kitchen space!)  I make things that are pretty but also DO things. A sweater is pretty AND keeps you warm because your tyrant boss keeps it sub zero in your office?  Knit some matching arm warmers. 

I'm working some chain maille recently.  May be cool.  I like it and it's real and I look cool in it.  Multitasking if I do say so. 

End of day.  I like knowing what I stand on and for.  I know my legs work because I run the hell out of them.  I know MY GOD is awesome because He has told me so.  And I believe a book that has shown over and over again to be true despite PROVEN attempts to debunk it.  And I know that at the end of days I will stand before my Lord and know that HE gets me like no one on earth ever could. 

I like the things you can count on and can't ignore.

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