No light - no light.

They say confession is good for the soul.  and GREAT if you get a book deal out of REAL soul baring.  Ask Elizabeth Gilbert.  Eat Pray Love was her proverbial confession - was her version of  "make- it- all- good.  I'm not so convinced.  I have skeletons.  We all do I guess.  Mine are just still wearing skin.  I can't bare without sacrificing real people to the flame of the sun. "I can't see a way - I'm always dragging that horse around.  Shake him off . . .  "

I feel heavy.  You ever feel that?  I have a huge sack - a sack of life.  poor choices.  bad words.  Florence says to shake it off.  I really like that.  It's hard to dance with the devil on your back - so shake it off.

I feel a storm coming.  I know so so many people who don't believe in the super natural - in things we can't see or feel or explain but well, I am a supernatural woman.  I feel beyond the normal = I'm no better than anyone - I'm just different.  I feel emotions radiating out of people around me.  I can find lost things.  Or at least tell you where they are.  If they got lost or are beyond your kingdom - I can feel it.  Pockets full of stones = let the only sound - be the over flow - let the only sound be the over flow . . . .

I don't pretend to know or be higher than my paygrade - I just know -  finally who I am.  But I feel caught.   I can't move. I'm here.  For a reason - i don't know.  you can't choose what stays and what fades away.

Looking out from underneath,
Fractured moonlight on the sea
Reflections still look the same to me,
As before I went under.

And it's peaceful in the deep,
Cathedral, where you cannot breathe,
No need to pray, no need to speak
Now I am under, Oh.

And it's breaking over me,
A thousand miles onto the sea bed,
Found the place to rest my head.

Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.

And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,
And all this devotion was rushing out of me,
And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,
The arms of the ocean deliver me.

Though the pressure's hard to take,
It's the only way I can escape,
It seems a heavy choice to make,
But now I am under, Oh.

And it's breaking over me,
A thousand miles down to the sea bed,
Found the place to rest my head.

Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/f/florence_and_the_machine/never_let_me_go.html ]
And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,
And all this devotion was rushing out of me,
And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,
The arms of the ocean deliver me.

And it's over,
And I'm going under,
But I'm not giving up!
I'm just giving in.

Oh, slipping underneath.
Oh, so cold, but so sweet.

In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,
And all this devotion I never knew at all,
And the crashes are Heaven, for a sinner released,
And the arms of the ocean,
Deliver me.

Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.

Deliver me.

Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.

Deliver me.

Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.

Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.

And it's over,
And I'm goin' under,
But I'm not givin' up!
I'm just givin' in.

Oh, slipping underneath.
Oh, so cold, but so sweet

I get the slipping under.  I get the letting go.  But I have people who need me.  And that's a reason to hang on with teeth.  I just don't want to hurt people.  I've seen so much hurt in my life.  Been it, been part of it. and really don't want it anymore.  Control is a hugely abused thing.  I'm tired a lot these days.  I'm just tired.  I hate control.  just sayin.

I'm in a holding pattern.  today.  like I'm waiting for the storm to hit.  prepped and ready but waiting.  WHAT?

Tell me what you want me to say.

Give me a reason. please.
  

 "No Light, No Light"

You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between what I thought
And what I said

You are the night time fear
You are the morning when it's clear
When it's over you'll start
You're my head
You're my heart

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
No light
Tell me what you want me to say

Through the crowd, I was crying out
And in your place there were a thousand other faces
I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me, I need to make it right

You want a revelation,
You wanna get it right
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You want a revelation

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day,
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
No light
Tell me what you want me to say

Would you leave me,
If I told you what I've done?
And would you need me,
If I told you what I've become?
'cause it's so easy,
To say it to a crowd
But it's so hard, my love,
To say it to you out loud

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day,
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
No light
Tell me what you want me to say

You want a revelation,
You wanna get it right
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You want a revelation

You want a revelation,
You wanna get it right
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation, some kind of resolution
Tell me what you want me to say.