I quit. again

so it's really not as easy as one would think to quit one's job when one is as ubercontrolling as I apparantly am.  Or so it would appear.  I want to leave UniF. for more reasons than I can personally name (cough - ETHICAL issues cough)  but the NUMBER one - # ONE reason is . . . wait for it - wait for it.  I hate sitting for a paycheck.  YES - hazzah - hurray - cha f'ing ching. I hate to sit for 8 hours.  I try to make excuses to stand and do something else but my job is summed up in -  8am ASS meets CHAIR. period. 5pm ASS LIFTS from chair and gets in a moving chair (aka car) and goes home where I vibrate (not in that special kind of way though) until I go to bed.  I have to run during my "lunch hour" just to not lose my freaking mind.  Running at work in Virginia in the summer with 9 million percent humidity has all kinds of weird written over it but suffice it to say I sweat like a trucker and swear like a pig. But I don't care.  I have to get out of the ice box (another happy addition to my job - it's 98 outside but 64 INSIDE - my CSR is wearing a hoodie and a blanket!)  just to feel human for an hour.  I've heard some crazy rumor that - "IT's MY Life" (sure Jon Bon Jovi - I'm sure it IS yours) - right?.  This is not my life - this is Ron's life and I hate Ron.  (Ron owns UniF.)  I don't like him just on principle BUT to be fair I don't know him personally.  He did really suck on Undercover Boss - doing the jobs he expects others to do - and not pay them very well for it. THOUGH he did - for all of TVland to see - redeem himself by paying 3 lucky people out of the 12,000 who work for him, a bit of cash.  He's a freaking millionaire because of the mafia and his dad.  Yup, (side-of-nose-swipe) people slept with fishes (not in a kinky way) if they didn't pick UniF for their stuff.  Not kidding folks.

Soooooo.  I know so many people who huff stuff for a living - who move and groove all day long - they bitch because I "get to" sit on my butt all day.  Well sweetheart - that's not my idea of fun!... They get to  deliver things to places and get it DONE.  BUT I also know that the thought of driving in Northern Virginia - aka the worst traffic in the nation - makes me want to puke SO DRIVING things would not be my personal coolness.  As far as the not sitting/standing jobs - I have been both a bartender and waitress and though I was really good at both the smoke killed me.  

SIDEBAR here - I hate smoke.  I just do - I've never been a smoker but in college I wanted to - it just did nothing for me.  No buzz no hit NOTHING (and yes I was doing it right)   I also HATE the freaking SAFETY police that tell me that I have to wear my seat belt - when, if I crash - and am not wearing my seat belt - WHO, BUT ME an ADULT AMERICAN WHO PAYS TAXES dies?  just me.  Unless I rocket out of my car and hit a Senator - really?  LET ME DECIDE.  I wear it because it's a good idea.  just like I brush my teeth (that and the bad breath thing) but really - as adults let us pick.  I personally would legalize Marijuana but that's another post.  I get not letting babies smoke or do crack.  I makes them all colicky.  But while I appreciate not being the guinea pig of the 50's (hey let's try this drug and see who it doesn't kill?) I don't really like big brother GBMENT legislating AT me what I already know -  but should get to pick for my ownself - since geez, I already have to shave everyday!  But back to Vegas :D  I love it.  actually that is not right - I LOVE IT CRAVE IT LUST IT WANT come to me cheri I will whisper sweet things to your neon lit ears . . . . sorry you didn't need to see that :D - I love Vegas and thankfully hubby does too.  He wants to go back as soon as we can.  But back to the smoke thing - it killed me.  I get letting smokers smoke.  Since in Las V.  Smokers who smoke are gamblers who gamble who are spenders who spend . . . I get it!  I just end up sounding like a phone sex lady with a cough.  I lose my voice, which for Roger isn't the worst thing ever . . . , but I can't breathe either, which I've found as a humanoid is kind of imperative.  I wish I could say breathing is overrated but I run - kind of as a hobby and need my lungs to work.  smoke makes that not as fun.    Alright - citizen - commence to your regularly scheduled programming. . . .

  The waitress thing would rock -  but I have kids who go to school and when (besides a fast lunch with cheap tips) do people eat out ?. . . DINNER!  Right.  SO - I'm going to make up my own job.  I am going to get paid stupid amounts of money to do what I want.  Be who I want - eat what I want and work out when I want.  I'm going to adopt a way of talking and acting that you will want to imitate.  You can watch me do it if you want.  Wait that's "reality TV."  So I want that.  Or maybe I write a great book - you pay to read it and you don't have to look at my sorry mug on TV.  I like that better.

I don't know if someone from UniF. Corporate can read this - chances are given the level of REPORTS meaningless mindless mundane REPORTS we churn out like worker drones - that really mean freaking NOTHING they don't read - or do ANYTHING but beat puppies to death for fun.  I will be in on Monday unless Guido finds me and thankfully I do know a few things about self defense.  stop drop and roll right?