My Southern Side

"I heard that in every life a little rain must fall - if there's any truth to this saying - Lord let it be a Southern Rain. . . . " Cowboy Junkies

I am a transplant to this par-tic-ular Land of the Magnolia.  Consequently, I  will never ever truly be 100% Southern. This is good and bad in myriad ways.  I cannot comprehend  - on any level  - the aberration known as "little girl beauty pageants" (seriously? - WTF!!! - IMHO they are nothing more than parades for future whores!) nor can I stomach some of the funky pig parts which seem to appear in the strangest of places (gas station/beauty parlor?) - all deep fried, pickled or briny!  BUT I sincerely adore most of the people I've met and revel in their sincerity and unique take on life.  The South does things so differently than the North would.  This challenges me - and I love that. There are so many amazing wonders both edible and visual to be had -  BUT like all complex things in this life there is aways a dark side.

I'm a white girl and speak just enough Spanish to know I should be offended when called a white bitch in the Hispanic market where I shop. My town is so very racially mixed that I am truly the minority.  The South here is a hard, conflicted, very bipolar South. It's filled with bigots, haters, bitches, gypsys', tramps and thieves. But also a shit-ton of great people. Maybe this is true everywhere in America.  Perhaps.

I love Virginia for so many personal reasons not the least of which because this is where my family has landed.  But because this place - this State is way more than that - it is a "state of mind" - an Historical Juggernaut - that has such presence it's almost otherworldly. The Civil War is still very very real in many people's minds. It actually is a point of conversation that can still get quite heated.  People here have not forgotten for one minute what side won and what side should have.  Living here amongst all of the history is very surreal and humbling.  But don't get me wrong.  As much as I love it there are some down sides. People here cannot fucking drive to save their lives. To say they are bad drivers is like saying Andrew Zimmern likes to eat assholes. REALLY? who freaking teaches drivers ed here? My Drivers Ed teacher Mr. Paulson would die if he wasn't dead already .  As a Midwestern girl I can drive stick shift and actually would prefer it to automatic transmission; can sail through a snow storm with my car still on the road and GO at green lights and stop only at red ones!  I drive 5 over the speed limit in town and more on the freeway.  I signal when I am turning and then make sure it gets turned off.  Anyway enough.

The South has had this strange allure for me from the very first time I saw a magnolia in full bloom. It was a transplanted variety to the north - but it was gorgeous and I was 9.  I instantly knew there was a world outside of the complete hibernation that is Wisconsin. I felt there had to be more than just the  5 months we knew as warmth and the rest of the year relegated to construction and snow. My quest for all things sunny and hot and NOT the north began right then. I began to loathe the cold. No actually what started as loathe ended at full on I FUCKING HATE BEING COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!! It took a few years to ramp into that particular sentiment - but there it is. I remember one particular winter - no kidding - 80 below zero with the wind chill factor. Driving to work - at night - having to plug in my car so that my engine would not freeze. Those of you truly southern will have no idea what I am talking about - (google "block heater") yes I own one. I hate winter. Sooooooooooo I love Virginia. But straight up - I'm not far enough south. This state is gorgeous - yes yes yes - it is for lovers - but for all the talk - it's still cold. A lot.

As much as there are differences there are Burger Kings and Applebees and if I wanted to just live and pretend I was back up north I so so so could. But that is absolutely not who I am and I PERSONALLY live and bloom where I am planted so I live - truly LIVE Auntie Mame style - and embrace what I live in - so this is a nirvana of sorts for me. Food.  Period.  Is different here.  Fresh produce in cheap places. Korean markets - Live seafood for crazy prices - yes please. Why is it always about food for me? well, we need it to live. And more than exist. LIVE! I always come back to this - Food is fuel at it's most basic but it's life at it's most glorious. We have to eat. WE HAVE TO EAT!!!!!! We have to feed ourselves and our children. If you are a feeder you get this - man or woman - you get it. I love it here for the wider - nay, epic expanse of possibilities open to me. Lemon grass. check. Cassava. yeah. Ginger. duh? good Garlic - ya think? OMG yes please! So much to pick from if brave enough to tough it out.  I guess that's different here.  You gotta want it and search it out - but it's really not that hard once you take the first dangerous step out of your comfort zone.

I have my sights set on farther south some day but for now Virginia is sweet home enough that I am a happy Yankee Rose!!!