Civil Inattention is what we as Americans do when we don't want to appear rude. or caring. or looking at someone in the "wrong way." I first learned about the term in college and it always struck me as horribly Midwest. We don't want anyone to think we "noticed" anything odd about them . . . ugh. I wish it didn't exist. I wish I didn't do it. I do. And have done - but honestly I wish I didn't have to.
That person on social media ranting about XYZ cause that she really knows fuck all about because she's never really experienced anything in life but an education and thinks she knows it all and all you want to do is take her to task on it - so you start. And then delete. Because you know a virtual war is meaningless and no one learns anything and there is nothing but bad words and backlash. If I've learned nothing in life and dear Lord Jesus - I have to believe that after almost 45 years I'm not as fucking dumb as I look - kindness really is the best cure. I've wanted revenge for so many years on someone who really did the kind of damage it takes years of therapy and thousands of dollars to fix and what my God (I say mine not like I own Him but because others have their own version - I'm in the Jehovah/Yahweh camp) did to him and his family was a revenge I could never ever invent but personally I'm going to write about it. Classic - God - you rock. But frankly - I don't do revenge because I can't. I take scripture too too seriously and "REVENGE IS MINE SAYETH THE LORD" yeah. He got this.
So anywho... There are people who need an education. In truth. Justice. I hate Civil Inattention. It makes us walk around blind to our surroundings. I am seeing better lately. must be the new contacts.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Thursday, September 12, 2013
allergic reactions
I literally remember having mittens tied to my hands as a child. No - I wasn't part of some crazy cult - unless you consider Wisconsin a cult (and it very well may be - all cold and shit ugh :D ) Actually the mittens were to prevent me from waking up to a bloody mess of scratching my arms in my sleep.
I am - and apparently HAVE been - allergic to a lot of things. mostly topical and yet very recently - internally - aka FOOD.
I remember my childhood and then adolescent years as a blur of things making my skin better or worse but no real answers since none were really sought. Nummular Eczema was the technical term. All I know is my HS photos needed HUGE photo shopping even in the world before that was even cool.
On my own dime as an adult I finally got the tests that confirmed what I suspected. I am allergic to nearly fucking everything. Some chemicals more than others - yet I still flirt with the devil now and then to see what I get away with but the consensus is still normally the same. If it's not plant derived and there are preservatives in it I can't use it on my skin. Food is a whole different demon. I can't eat wheat though I've been experimenting. Milk is still taboo - and now the lactose pills don't work. Even the really expensive ones. If there's milk in it - I will know it. And if you are standing next to me in the elevator you may too. :D
I can only use laundry detergent that has no perfumes or color. WELL, we purchased a front load deally a bit ago and the funny thing about the washer not using a ton of water is that they FREAKING stink right off! I bleach everything so this funky smell was super off-putting in my camp. So against my better judgment I okayed these washer bead things. HORRIBLE skin reaction but damn did my washer smell good. My kids don't react to things as bad as I do. So I let them - since they do their own laundry but mine can have NONE of it.
The latest BAD skin (for me) incident involved a tank top and Rit dye. I had a tank top that had been bleach stained so Trinity and I dyed some clothes purple to get rid of the stains. They turned out great. We washed them numerous times. I put my tank on for bed. Within 20 minutes I was freaking out. My torso (no bra mind you) was on fire with hives. Benedril helped a bit. I woke up at 3 uberitchy and wanting to drug myself except I have kids to drive to school at 6:45am. So I sucked it up and just scratched my nasty self into oblivion.
I can have 6 strawberries without hives. I can now eat a bit of pizza crust but no cheese. Greek Yogurt is completely off limits . . . unless I want to offend everybody within a 10 block radius.
I don't know if wheat will ever come back to me but I'm pushing some boundaries.
Skin things I don't think I can ever fix. I can never ever ever never never ever dye my hair with chemical hair dye. Henna or nothing. I'm actually okay with that since I am the poster child for how amazing Henna is. I have the most healthy thick hair that nearly hits my ass since it grows almost a foot a year. Yeah - it's red and that works for me. I have to import it from the middle east but better that than gas. Parabens. Can't touch them. Literally. There are 6 types and all are horrible to me. They are cheap preservatives. I hate them all. I have to take rings off if I use hand lotion because if they sit inside - my hands blow up like Micky Mouse.
Nickel in any jewelry is certain death. Or snaps or buttons that touch skin. suddenly my watch has my wrist a bloody oozing mess. I wore that watch for 6 years. suddenly. I can't.
I can have a conditioner that freaking rocks and then on the 3rd go round suddenly makes my neck and hairline break out.
It's a daily issue to figure out what I can or cannot eat. I don't know what it's like having diabetes - but I gotta say - I dearly pay for the food or product choices I make. I feel like I am not "normal" though I guess these days I have no idea what "NORMAL" really is. I play Russian roulette a lot. I want to believe I can try things. If they send me into a tail spin - hives, welts, gastrointestinal distress . . . I don't unusually do it again. I take my chances. I love ice cream. I'm likely to eat it again. reaction or no. cuz really? who can live without ice cream?
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Have Dog will Travel
So for all of the haters out there YES we KNOW we are dumb to adopt another dog. YES we know we are morons for adopting another pit. But when you fall in love with a face . . . really? what cha gonna do? I saw bottom left corner of a rogue's gallery of photos and "bottom left" (aka Dozer) hit me like - well, a bulldozer. I knew it was dumb. I knew it was ill advised. But I also knew it was going to be great. On that deep level that you just know.. . . he was going to be great.
So the road to get him was not super hard - actually it was pretty painless. Long - yes - (8.5hrs one way) but an easy drive. NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING like getting (AKA white freaking KNUCKLES) from Northern Virginia to Wisconsin. I swear they don't make enough roads to have that actually happen. It blows. But VA to Augusta. nothing.
Not to overshadow my new boy but seeing my B. was the best thing EVER!!! Seeing somebody you loved and lost and then found and then refound and then "damn - it's been 15 years" has been a roller coaster of stupidly missing someone who was such a part of you you didn't even realize you couldn't breathe without them.
Dozer. My new boy. He is so stupid pretty. He is Jared Leto in Fight Club. Bella (14lbs) kicks his stupid 58lb puppy ass. She is not happy with him. No. NOT HAPPY. She will get over it.
This is a rescue who was not beaten but abused by neglect. He had to figure out what stairs were. (so smart it took him a day and now he thinks he's king of the second floor!) He's never felt carpet. BTW - LOOOOOOOVES it.
Dom was freaked out. WHO THE HELL IS THIS IN MY HOUSE. Legit he was an ass for about 2 days. bumping him. smashing him into things. Thank GOD Dozer is still made of rubber - and a pit so he felt nothing. Now. They are comrades in arms. I'm actually scared they will take over. Though Dozer will be the brains since Dom is an idiot. We have lost a screen door. yes. Dozer was on a mission and it got in the way - or he didn't see it. I pick the first. To be expected. I married an engineer and I intend to use him. I designed a dog proof door (yes DOM has gone through as well) I want him to build this. It may actually be such a great design we may be in the dog door business soon. Wouldn't that rock???
Dozer is a chewer. I've never actually owned one of those. Dom doesn't chew. Never did as a puppy - still doesn't. Doz is 3 stuffed toys in and it's only day 4. :D. I'm okay with that. If he eats my Bible we will come to blows though!! kidding. Remington reference. Doz is a cloth chewer. I bought 3 stuffed toys and a towel that was knotted (didn't buy that actually) the towel lasted all of 1/5 of a day.
Dom is a lazy ass who likes car rides, sunsets and redheads . . . . kidding. no actually he does. BUT he's so lazy. Dozer has him moving. If Dozer runs Dom thinks about it . . . lol. I've started being more faithful in the dog running/walking thing. Dom is a dumb ass who sniffs every freaking thing and would KILL me if I tried to run with him. He stops DEAD and though he weighs WAY less than I do his center of gravity is a bit lower than mine having stupid long legs and arms. He almost had me do a full superman fall. So we walked and I had him close and tight.
Dozer? We ran the full block (almost a mile) NO ISSUE! THANK YOU B. and Tipton County Paws and Claws for such faithful work. Dozer is a big boy (tall) and we will keep him exercised and I hope Dom starts enjoying walks more. Sadly Dom is freaked out by little things and perhaps we haven't helped. Today was garbage day and so bins were lining the streets . . . Bins are clearly from Satan and scare the poo out of my big black pit DOM!!! He freaks when he sees them. Balloons also are satanic. as are clowns . . oh wait that's me.
I'm so happy to see a dog go from not knowing his name - to getting it - in 2 days.
He peed on my foot in my kitchen. I think HE got how freaked I was and hasn't done it again. I did yell a bit (okay - a lot) and take him outside to learn POTTY is OUTSIDE! and hose my foot and my kitchen rug. but we have hardwood and tile and it's easily cleaned. as is my foot.
He is so smart I do NOT doubt that he will get it. and soon.
I really hope the little dogs start to like him since he is forever here. Well, Sadie may never like him but that's okay. He leaves her alone since she runs the place anyway. It's a matriarch thing.
I know people think we are crazy but I just knew. Something about this dog was not to be missed. I may be wrong but I think down the road I'm going to be so glad Dozer and Dom are watching our house. Dozer especially. He has a quiet gentle spirit but there's some serious intelligence behind that gorgeous face.
Well, we will see. But a rescue is a rescue and I'm not certain who was who.
So the road to get him was not super hard - actually it was pretty painless. Long - yes - (8.5hrs one way) but an easy drive. NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING like getting (AKA white freaking KNUCKLES) from Northern Virginia to Wisconsin. I swear they don't make enough roads to have that actually happen. It blows. But VA to Augusta. nothing.
Not to overshadow my new boy but seeing my B. was the best thing EVER!!! Seeing somebody you loved and lost and then found and then refound and then "damn - it's been 15 years" has been a roller coaster of stupidly missing someone who was such a part of you you didn't even realize you couldn't breathe without them.
Dozer. My new boy. He is so stupid pretty. He is Jared Leto in Fight Club. Bella (14lbs) kicks his stupid 58lb puppy ass. She is not happy with him. No. NOT HAPPY. She will get over it.
This is a rescue who was not beaten but abused by neglect. He had to figure out what stairs were. (so smart it took him a day and now he thinks he's king of the second floor!) He's never felt carpet. BTW - LOOOOOOOVES it.
Dom was freaked out. WHO THE HELL IS THIS IN MY HOUSE. Legit he was an ass for about 2 days. bumping him. smashing him into things. Thank GOD Dozer is still made of rubber - and a pit so he felt nothing. Now. They are comrades in arms. I'm actually scared they will take over. Though Dozer will be the brains since Dom is an idiot. We have lost a screen door. yes. Dozer was on a mission and it got in the way - or he didn't see it. I pick the first. To be expected. I married an engineer and I intend to use him. I designed a dog proof door (yes DOM has gone through as well) I want him to build this. It may actually be such a great design we may be in the dog door business soon. Wouldn't that rock???
Dozer is a chewer. I've never actually owned one of those. Dom doesn't chew. Never did as a puppy - still doesn't. Doz is 3 stuffed toys in and it's only day 4. :D. I'm okay with that. If he eats my Bible we will come to blows though!! kidding. Remington reference. Doz is a cloth chewer. I bought 3 stuffed toys and a towel that was knotted (didn't buy that actually) the towel lasted all of 1/5 of a day.
Dom is a lazy ass who likes car rides, sunsets and redheads . . . . kidding. no actually he does. BUT he's so lazy. Dozer has him moving. If Dozer runs Dom thinks about it . . . lol. I've started being more faithful in the dog running/walking thing. Dom is a dumb ass who sniffs every freaking thing and would KILL me if I tried to run with him. He stops DEAD and though he weighs WAY less than I do his center of gravity is a bit lower than mine having stupid long legs and arms. He almost had me do a full superman fall. So we walked and I had him close and tight.
Dozer? We ran the full block (almost a mile) NO ISSUE! THANK YOU B. and Tipton County Paws and Claws for such faithful work. Dozer is a big boy (tall) and we will keep him exercised and I hope Dom starts enjoying walks more. Sadly Dom is freaked out by little things and perhaps we haven't helped. Today was garbage day and so bins were lining the streets . . . Bins are clearly from Satan and scare the poo out of my big black pit DOM!!! He freaks when he sees them. Balloons also are satanic. as are clowns . . oh wait that's me.
I'm so happy to see a dog go from not knowing his name - to getting it - in 2 days.
He peed on my foot in my kitchen. I think HE got how freaked I was and hasn't done it again. I did yell a bit (okay - a lot) and take him outside to learn POTTY is OUTSIDE! and hose my foot and my kitchen rug. but we have hardwood and tile and it's easily cleaned. as is my foot.
He is so smart I do NOT doubt that he will get it. and soon.
I really hope the little dogs start to like him since he is forever here. Well, Sadie may never like him but that's okay. He leaves her alone since she runs the place anyway. It's a matriarch thing.
I know people think we are crazy but I just knew. Something about this dog was not to be missed. I may be wrong but I think down the road I'm going to be so glad Dozer and Dom are watching our house. Dozer especially. He has a quiet gentle spirit but there's some serious intelligence behind that gorgeous face.
Well, we will see. But a rescue is a rescue and I'm not certain who was who.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Lucifer
I went to this crazy church a few (16) years back that basically messed my life up in umpteen million ways and was - as I call it HAPPILY the "Church of the Holy Reproduction" because they were BEYOND arrogant and stupid and the pastor thought he spoke for God and said that having all the kids you could was a great idea.
Yeah.
It was a horrible idea. I love my kids YET I'm glad they are but three. My husband at the time was ill equipped for one lone child - let alone three. I know so many families in that church that were train wrecks. some made it out - some are still stupidly there.
BUT my thoughts are not against that church right this second.
I was thinking more of music.
Lucifer was said to be the angel of light and was supposed to be in charge of music. Makes perfect sense to me.
When I was losing said husband number one our biggest issue was the music he chose. I refused to find a rare and precious baby sitter to go to a concert to see a band I hated what they had to say.
He went without me.
I understand what they said. I get it. I still don't like it. I never will.
When I chose to get a divorce I wanted someone who understood me. I wasn't actually looking for love I was looking for a good father for my kids. I can love anyone who's nice - but it was music that made the difference. The first time Roger sat in my dustbuster minivan he saw my CD's and said he had all of them. And he did.
Music is so much to me I can't even explain. Music is why I'm not a Lutheran. and it's why I will always be. Those stupid hymns are in my freaking DNA - but I dislike them greatly.
music moves me - daily. It makes me think - feel and cry. I dance in my kitchen making dinner - pretty much every day. If lucifer is in charge of music he's doing a great job. most of it sucks. but when I hear a song that I know has slipped in. under his radar - I know about it. I swear - I do = it's so good and moving.
yeah the other day we were listening to the radio going to church and Highway to Hell came on. I cranked it up just to be funny. yeah. The devil doesn't get all the good songs... and sometimes it's just funny.
Yeah.
It was a horrible idea. I love my kids YET I'm glad they are but three. My husband at the time was ill equipped for one lone child - let alone three. I know so many families in that church that were train wrecks. some made it out - some are still stupidly there.
BUT my thoughts are not against that church right this second.
I was thinking more of music.
Lucifer was said to be the angel of light and was supposed to be in charge of music. Makes perfect sense to me.
When I was losing said husband number one our biggest issue was the music he chose. I refused to find a rare and precious baby sitter to go to a concert to see a band I hated what they had to say.
He went without me.
I understand what they said. I get it. I still don't like it. I never will.
When I chose to get a divorce I wanted someone who understood me. I wasn't actually looking for love I was looking for a good father for my kids. I can love anyone who's nice - but it was music that made the difference. The first time Roger sat in my dustbuster minivan he saw my CD's and said he had all of them. And he did.
Music is so much to me I can't even explain. Music is why I'm not a Lutheran. and it's why I will always be. Those stupid hymns are in my freaking DNA - but I dislike them greatly.
music moves me - daily. It makes me think - feel and cry. I dance in my kitchen making dinner - pretty much every day. If lucifer is in charge of music he's doing a great job. most of it sucks. but when I hear a song that I know has slipped in. under his radar - I know about it. I swear - I do = it's so good and moving.
yeah the other day we were listening to the radio going to church and Highway to Hell came on. I cranked it up just to be funny. yeah. The devil doesn't get all the good songs... and sometimes it's just funny.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
bloody well time
I quit my bad and under appreciated job in December of 2012. in that lull I did exactly fucking nothing. I mean really fucking nothing. I barely wrote. I pretty much just - cleaned my house - ran umpteen miles. and then knit things I ended up frogging (yeah that's right). aka. I did fucking nothing.
There are certain camps that say that is a depression. prolly.
Those are not the camps I'd send my kids to for fun but I get it.
I had decided that I needed a year. I needed a year to breathe - but really I have no idea what that means. I think breathe EQUALS or "means" lazy so I'm at odds with what I originally set out to do. yeh me to subvert what I wanted to do!!!!
Trinity kind of shook me out of my knitting slump. and I quote, "yeah mom you get these knitting books from the library but you really don't knit that much lately."
no. I don't. I don't do anything of any substance lately. what I do goes to the wind.
I run. I sweat. I breathe but nothing permanent.
That is done.
Connor Howard left today. I miss him. but honestly - he's not my kid. He's too easy. My kids are hard and have issues. I'm certain he has issues but when you get him 2 of the possible 52 you only get the surface.
It's funny - when I run. the first 8 miles are the hardest - after that is gravy until 15. why is that? I hit a groove and it's fun. before it's a fight for every 3 miles. then after 8 it's a free ride. I can do 8 miles an hour so that's not a timing thing. it's just weird.
You sign up for one thing and it ends up in another state. Not bad - just different.
not bad
just different.
There are certain camps that say that is a depression. prolly.
Those are not the camps I'd send my kids to for fun but I get it.
I had decided that I needed a year. I needed a year to breathe - but really I have no idea what that means. I think breathe EQUALS or "means" lazy so I'm at odds with what I originally set out to do. yeh me to subvert what I wanted to do!!!!
Trinity kind of shook me out of my knitting slump. and I quote, "yeah mom you get these knitting books from the library but you really don't knit that much lately."
no. I don't. I don't do anything of any substance lately. what I do goes to the wind.
I run. I sweat. I breathe but nothing permanent.
That is done.
Connor Howard left today. I miss him. but honestly - he's not my kid. He's too easy. My kids are hard and have issues. I'm certain he has issues but when you get him 2 of the possible 52 you only get the surface.
It's funny - when I run. the first 8 miles are the hardest - after that is gravy until 15. why is that? I hit a groove and it's fun. before it's a fight for every 3 miles. then after 8 it's a free ride. I can do 8 miles an hour so that's not a timing thing. it's just weird.
You sign up for one thing and it ends up in another state. Not bad - just different.
not bad
just different.
Friday, August 9, 2013
The dogs of war
there are animals we own
Currently we have one surviving hermit crab. Shelly is fine and thank you for asking. Trinity came home from the Outer Banks with three and Nemo and Beach are no more but Shelly is still sitting up and taking mist so we are happy. Our almost 5 yr old guinea pig Snickers is still fat and sassy. Daily he gets fed more food than the people in countries that eat him get. I guess that should be wrong. But he cracks me up. He's so social.
I'm watching all episodes of Greys. I have to. I stopped watching because I had to. SO now I've started at the beginning - because I had to.
I lost my dog a while back. I say that because we bond with animals on levels we don't want to admit. We are humans. We don't want to be the crazy cat lady or the person who puts animal over people but when you bond with an animal you just know. It's the soul mate human thing. You just bond and get it. It's like your favorite child and if you are a parent and have more than one you need to admit to having a favorite - we all do but no one will admit it. We love our kids but as humans we clearly love some on different levels.
Yeah. Bella is my dog. that little bitch is my dog. she is my dog on levels I never knew I had in animal matter. and she got lost. she was let out with no gate and went on an adventure. I was beyond crazy. I was hypercrazyventalating!!!!!!
when a nice lady almost a mile from our house found her and called the cops since she wasn't wearing her collar - I was thankful and guilty at once. Getting her back was amazing. she was a rescue. Her owners didn't WANT her. ?????????? she is the best dog ever. for me. I guess it's who you are and what your needs are. I guess it's who you bond with. I hate little dogs. except for bella. lol
Currently we have one surviving hermit crab. Shelly is fine and thank you for asking. Trinity came home from the Outer Banks with three and Nemo and Beach are no more but Shelly is still sitting up and taking mist so we are happy. Our almost 5 yr old guinea pig Snickers is still fat and sassy. Daily he gets fed more food than the people in countries that eat him get. I guess that should be wrong. But he cracks me up. He's so social.
I'm watching all episodes of Greys. I have to. I stopped watching because I had to. SO now I've started at the beginning - because I had to.
I lost my dog a while back. I say that because we bond with animals on levels we don't want to admit. We are humans. We don't want to be the crazy cat lady or the person who puts animal over people but when you bond with an animal you just know. It's the soul mate human thing. You just bond and get it. It's like your favorite child and if you are a parent and have more than one you need to admit to having a favorite - we all do but no one will admit it. We love our kids but as humans we clearly love some on different levels.
Yeah. Bella is my dog. that little bitch is my dog. she is my dog on levels I never knew I had in animal matter. and she got lost. she was let out with no gate and went on an adventure. I was beyond crazy. I was hypercrazyventalating!!!!!!
when a nice lady almost a mile from our house found her and called the cops since she wasn't wearing her collar - I was thankful and guilty at once. Getting her back was amazing. she was a rescue. Her owners didn't WANT her. ?????????? she is the best dog ever. for me. I guess it's who you are and what your needs are. I guess it's who you bond with. I hate little dogs. except for bella. lol
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
growing pains
I have a new yard. New as in driveway - new brick front wall and new railing. New driveway and new gate that opens when I push a button. New backyard. Driveway and Pool area and then Garage. NEW NEW NEW. I'm um. a little. um
overwhelmed.
No.
I'm a lot overwhelmed.
I do change on the normal human level.
Puppy - new puppy - yeah he's great he's cute. JESUS HE IS SHITTING ON MY RUG!!! aaahhh okay cleaning up shit. . . and garbage that little bastard - oh i mean my darling - is OMG how cute is he ????? he's sleeping. . . and then growing and then stupidly chewing my best sandals . . . and then growing and doing evil . . .
Point is = change and time.
I can do change with time. TOO MUCH CHANGE . . . TOO LITTLE TIME makes me more nuts.
I can't say crazy since everybody KNOWS I'm 5 beers short of a 6 sixpack 17 fries close to a happy meal and 8 pins short of a strike so YEAH - I KNOW NUTS.
But the one thing I'm okay with. And kinda keeps me not chewing the curtains is my garden.
So. . . I gotta say I don't get it. I have my dad's ability to just make shit grow. I HAVE killed things as has he. and I hate when a plant dies. It bugs me bad. BUT I have things live that SHOULD NOT LIVE. I have a tree we got from freaking ALDI's!!! ALDI's for like 10 bucks. It was DEAD when we bought it and then I brought it back to life and then MOVED IT. And I was not gentle. Yeah - growing.
My personal specialty is vine. vines like me. I love them.
They move. when they grow. they are so alive and moving and growing. vines are my thing.
they are plants that are stuck - they are stuck where I said to make them stuck but yet - they move on their own.
Like they know their basic limits but grown even beyond that and thrive.
yeah. vines.
I am a vine.
and a great one at that.
overwhelmed.
No.
I'm a lot overwhelmed.
I do change on the normal human level.
Puppy - new puppy - yeah he's great he's cute. JESUS HE IS SHITTING ON MY RUG!!! aaahhh okay cleaning up shit. . . and garbage that little bastard - oh i mean my darling - is OMG how cute is he ????? he's sleeping. . . and then growing and then stupidly chewing my best sandals . . . and then growing and doing evil . . .
Point is = change and time.
I can do change with time. TOO MUCH CHANGE . . . TOO LITTLE TIME makes me more nuts.
I can't say crazy since everybody KNOWS I'm 5 beers short of a 6 sixpack 17 fries close to a happy meal and 8 pins short of a strike so YEAH - I KNOW NUTS.
But the one thing I'm okay with. And kinda keeps me not chewing the curtains is my garden.
So. . . I gotta say I don't get it. I have my dad's ability to just make shit grow. I HAVE killed things as has he. and I hate when a plant dies. It bugs me bad. BUT I have things live that SHOULD NOT LIVE. I have a tree we got from freaking ALDI's!!! ALDI's for like 10 bucks. It was DEAD when we bought it and then I brought it back to life and then MOVED IT. And I was not gentle. Yeah - growing.
My personal specialty is vine. vines like me. I love them.
They move. when they grow. they are so alive and moving and growing. vines are my thing.
they are plants that are stuck - they are stuck where I said to make them stuck but yet - they move on their own.
Like they know their basic limits but grown even beyond that and thrive.
yeah. vines.
I am a vine.
and a great one at that.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Grey Matter
So. In the few short days that we have Connor Howard (esquire) we are trying to make the best of it all. I am feverishly trying to find a job. Feverish in that I am sick with whatever crap the older two had and shared with the one they kiss. And I'm finally ready to start watching Grey's again. Grey's Anatomy was THE show X and I started watching because he was THEN working 2nd shift and it was on Sunday night. We were actually there at the PILOT - I remember missing the first crucial minutes of each show that started at 8. aka bed time - since I was the one in charge of children . . . ha!! like they weren't also his. . . . AND just like his family - they were just too much for his sorry ass.
When the show moved to Thursdays i knew we were doomed. Not because we lost a show but because I knew.
They say the wife always knows.
She does.
She just doesn't always wanna admit it.
Watching now is horrible and awesome in a nutshell. I'm working through a whole lot of bitter and angry and want to put a giant sledge hammer through his head. but I won't. I don't actually want to SEE his GREY MATTER. I just wish he used it more. I need to find a career because I need to feel useful. I can write despite a lot of critics. But I write for fun. I'm super smart and can problem solve like an SOB. Jesus. Stick me in a problem. I can fix it. Is there a job for MacGyver with long red hair?
I'm an angry white girl who has unresolved daddy issues. But. I am kind. and loving and fun to be with. I'm really smart and a good friend if you are flawed.
I'm horrible if you are family since I expect you to think I'm perfect. And when you find different I'm not so kind. In fact I lash out in unprecedented and horribly unkind ways. and for the ladies I've done that to I apologize. MacS. I'm sorry. You are not a bad person. I just don't know you. You never tried to know me and I'm sorta in awe of you. so go you. You don't ever have to like me. That's cool. I'm kinda weird. Opinionated - but a freaking great host should you ever want to stay at my house I will treat you like gold. It's kinda my thing. I have that in my DNA. apparently we were the BnB folks way back . . .
So. YEAH this is another axe grinding post. If you read me - deal. It will get better from here. Frankly - ha ha. frank. ugh. I am actually going to do something. The runway is in sight.
Thank God. cuz this freaking circus is killing me.
When the show moved to Thursdays i knew we were doomed. Not because we lost a show but because I knew.
They say the wife always knows.
She does.
She just doesn't always wanna admit it.
Watching now is horrible and awesome in a nutshell. I'm working through a whole lot of bitter and angry and want to put a giant sledge hammer through his head. but I won't. I don't actually want to SEE his GREY MATTER. I just wish he used it more. I need to find a career because I need to feel useful. I can write despite a lot of critics. But I write for fun. I'm super smart and can problem solve like an SOB. Jesus. Stick me in a problem. I can fix it. Is there a job for MacGyver with long red hair?
I'm an angry white girl who has unresolved daddy issues. But. I am kind. and loving and fun to be with. I'm really smart and a good friend if you are flawed.
I'm horrible if you are family since I expect you to think I'm perfect. And when you find different I'm not so kind. In fact I lash out in unprecedented and horribly unkind ways. and for the ladies I've done that to I apologize. MacS. I'm sorry. You are not a bad person. I just don't know you. You never tried to know me and I'm sorta in awe of you. so go you. You don't ever have to like me. That's cool. I'm kinda weird. Opinionated - but a freaking great host should you ever want to stay at my house I will treat you like gold. It's kinda my thing. I have that in my DNA. apparently we were the BnB folks way back . . .
So. YEAH this is another axe grinding post. If you read me - deal. It will get better from here. Frankly - ha ha. frank. ugh. I am actually going to do something. The runway is in sight.
Thank God. cuz this freaking circus is killing me.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
off off off with yer head - dance dance dance til yer dead . . .
this is a story about a runner.
how she started and where she is now.
and okay yeah, that she. is me.
I was a runner in high school. more to the point. I was a horrible hurdler. I hit them. all the time and every time. I doubted my timing and sucked - bad. then I got sick. not just sick, but Strep. Mono. a sinus infection, tonsillitis and a double ear infection. I was a freaking train wreck. and SUDDENLY then for some feverish deluded reason - I decided I wanted to start really running. I was off of school for two weeks. I began running a bit at a time - had to cuz I woke up in a ditch after a few miles. I never said I wasn't stupid - I'd just made up my mind. I wanted to run.
Then I started college. Ran a bit here and there but not seriously.
Then I got married and got a job and then a different job. I was - at that point about 26. I was a help desk/software admin for a really mental software company in Brookfield WI and folks there actually drank on the job. really really. I started running on my lunch hour just to get out of Dodge. I started a mile at a time. and after a year and many bloody toes - I found that a mile had turned into 6. I could run - 6 miles in an hour. That seemed to me pretty great and my runs were actually pretty great since I lived in Waukesha.
It was 6 miles around my country block and that took my sweaty ass passed some pretty amazing scenes. I actually tried to outrun a thunderstorm once and almost made it. sorta.
Then I got pregnant. times 3.
Not triplets thank GOD but 3 kids in 6 years. "Running" only meant to the bathroom or out for diapers. But I found I could jump rope in my living room for an hour and still stay fit. and be home.
Then I remarried.
I discovered that Illinois hated me. I fell. a lot. Maybe it's just their sidewalks are shit - I don't know - but I kept falling. like almost needing stitches falling. I fell about 6 times. I hated running there. I stopped and stuck to jump rope in the driveway. Even in December. it was a better idea.
Then we moved to VA.
I started running. a lot. I never fell. Not once.
Then. one day.
I decided to do a marathon. I just kinda announced it and it even came out as a bit of a surprise for me.
I trained hard and heavy and worked up to doing 15 miles a day. 7 days a week. for 5 months. I lost 20 lbs. I - at 5'8" weighed 120 lbs - less if I did 20 miles. I felt like I could do anything - be anything - and was killing my kidneys. I didn't realize that running that much and not drinking more than water was a bad thing. I was peeing blood everyday! Genius! right - I know. Electrolytes people. your friends.
I was set on this marathon. It was all I cared about - and honestly at the end of the day it was the hardest thing I physically ever did. At mile 21 I wanted to stop and sit down. But the drill sergeant in my brain only let me walk through the water stop. I finished in 3:43. I know I could have done faster if I hadn't walked but I was so happy to have finished.
After we got out of the crowd I wanted to get a tattoo. Nobody wanted to do it for me since they thought I'd been through so much. The tattoo of XXVI.ii on my ankle took less than 5 minutes. really?
Today I struggle. I pick music for my IPOD that moves me - and yet I stay on the treadmill. I'm afraid of training again. I am afraid of diarrhea - yeah training in the heat of a VA summer - I need a bathroom after mile 12! Nobody tells you about THAT happy shit (literally) If I'm at home I can get off and use my own bathroom - in the wild I am at the mercy of the McDonald's or Taco Bell or 7-11. The evil looks I imagine. This intel isn't to discourage you but nobody really tells you when you start all of the happy things that await the novice runner who just wants to "do" a marathon. My sister and her hubby did one and for my poor sister it didn't end nicely. She hurt her knee and it was a slow sad end. I was alone and I know Roger will never run with me. So anything I run is alone.
And then as the runner ages we experience all of the fun "getting OLDER" events. I hurt my achilles a while back because I found that running on an incline is DUMB. yeah.
Oh and at home I am barefoot 99% of the time and so I am inclined to KICK THINGS that are hard and stationary.
I broke my toe AGAIN!! and had to take 5 days off. I hate being injured but being so - makes me breathe. I like that. I stop for a second and focus. Once it stopped being the purple angry toe of death, . I did 8 miles then 9 miles and today over 10. Yet - training for another marathon scares me because I know how selfish it makes me. It makes me focus on my needs and my goals and I have a tween and teens. Until they are not my priority - they have to be my focus. I'm the only one who cares about what happens to them on a daily basis. I need to figure out how to make my goals and theirs meet. Aislinn is set on track for her sport this year. I am going to try to volunteer for her team. I know if my parents had spent time with me in school I would have done better. Not a dig but a truth. I know I was a hard kid to raise. Still am :D But being there seems to be 9/10 of the battle.
I'm ready for a half marathon. Not a full - because I don't want it to be about me for another 6 months. I love being a runner. It's fun and sticky and sweaty!!! and it's a part of my DNA. But my DNA has more parts than just Katie.
If you don't run - I'm not saying you are less than anything - but running is kinda my thing.- whatever your thing is - that's great. I'm trying to see if I can get Roger into tennis with me. I'm horrible at it but passionate.
I guess it comes down to what makes us tick. I am full of quirks. Passionate or weird. Places I avoid - things I do - foods I eat or don't. Music that moves me. I know I dissed Glee. I do like it. In a love/hate sorta way. It's hard for me.
I am picking my drumbeat - my cadence. I hope it works.
My prayer for you is that you have yours and it moves you.
how she started and where she is now.
and okay yeah, that she. is me.
I was a runner in high school. more to the point. I was a horrible hurdler. I hit them. all the time and every time. I doubted my timing and sucked - bad. then I got sick. not just sick, but Strep. Mono. a sinus infection, tonsillitis and a double ear infection. I was a freaking train wreck. and SUDDENLY then for some feverish deluded reason - I decided I wanted to start really running. I was off of school for two weeks. I began running a bit at a time - had to cuz I woke up in a ditch after a few miles. I never said I wasn't stupid - I'd just made up my mind. I wanted to run.
Then I started college. Ran a bit here and there but not seriously.
Then I got married and got a job and then a different job. I was - at that point about 26. I was a help desk/software admin for a really mental software company in Brookfield WI and folks there actually drank on the job. really really. I started running on my lunch hour just to get out of Dodge. I started a mile at a time. and after a year and many bloody toes - I found that a mile had turned into 6. I could run - 6 miles in an hour. That seemed to me pretty great and my runs were actually pretty great since I lived in Waukesha.
It was 6 miles around my country block and that took my sweaty ass passed some pretty amazing scenes. I actually tried to outrun a thunderstorm once and almost made it. sorta.
Then I got pregnant. times 3.
Not triplets thank GOD but 3 kids in 6 years. "Running" only meant to the bathroom or out for diapers. But I found I could jump rope in my living room for an hour and still stay fit. and be home.
Then I remarried.
I discovered that Illinois hated me. I fell. a lot. Maybe it's just their sidewalks are shit - I don't know - but I kept falling. like almost needing stitches falling. I fell about 6 times. I hated running there. I stopped and stuck to jump rope in the driveway. Even in December. it was a better idea.
Then we moved to VA.
I started running. a lot. I never fell. Not once.
Then. one day.
I decided to do a marathon. I just kinda announced it and it even came out as a bit of a surprise for me.
I trained hard and heavy and worked up to doing 15 miles a day. 7 days a week. for 5 months. I lost 20 lbs. I - at 5'8" weighed 120 lbs - less if I did 20 miles. I felt like I could do anything - be anything - and was killing my kidneys. I didn't realize that running that much and not drinking more than water was a bad thing. I was peeing blood everyday! Genius! right - I know. Electrolytes people. your friends.
I was set on this marathon. It was all I cared about - and honestly at the end of the day it was the hardest thing I physically ever did. At mile 21 I wanted to stop and sit down. But the drill sergeant in my brain only let me walk through the water stop. I finished in 3:43. I know I could have done faster if I hadn't walked but I was so happy to have finished.
After we got out of the crowd I wanted to get a tattoo. Nobody wanted to do it for me since they thought I'd been through so much. The tattoo of XXVI.ii on my ankle took less than 5 minutes. really?
Today I struggle. I pick music for my IPOD that moves me - and yet I stay on the treadmill. I'm afraid of training again. I am afraid of diarrhea - yeah training in the heat of a VA summer - I need a bathroom after mile 12! Nobody tells you about THAT happy shit (literally) If I'm at home I can get off and use my own bathroom - in the wild I am at the mercy of the McDonald's or Taco Bell or 7-11. The evil looks I imagine. This intel isn't to discourage you but nobody really tells you when you start all of the happy things that await the novice runner who just wants to "do" a marathon. My sister and her hubby did one and for my poor sister it didn't end nicely. She hurt her knee and it was a slow sad end. I was alone and I know Roger will never run with me. So anything I run is alone.
And then as the runner ages we experience all of the fun "getting OLDER" events. I hurt my achilles a while back because I found that running on an incline is DUMB. yeah.
Oh and at home I am barefoot 99% of the time and so I am inclined to KICK THINGS that are hard and stationary.
I broke my toe AGAIN!! and had to take 5 days off. I hate being injured but being so - makes me breathe. I like that. I stop for a second and focus. Once it stopped being the purple angry toe of death, . I did 8 miles then 9 miles and today over 10. Yet - training for another marathon scares me because I know how selfish it makes me. It makes me focus on my needs and my goals and I have a tween and teens. Until they are not my priority - they have to be my focus. I'm the only one who cares about what happens to them on a daily basis. I need to figure out how to make my goals and theirs meet. Aislinn is set on track for her sport this year. I am going to try to volunteer for her team. I know if my parents had spent time with me in school I would have done better. Not a dig but a truth. I know I was a hard kid to raise. Still am :D But being there seems to be 9/10 of the battle.
I'm ready for a half marathon. Not a full - because I don't want it to be about me for another 6 months. I love being a runner. It's fun and sticky and sweaty!!! and it's a part of my DNA. But my DNA has more parts than just Katie.
If you don't run - I'm not saying you are less than anything - but running is kinda my thing.- whatever your thing is - that's great. I'm trying to see if I can get Roger into tennis with me. I'm horrible at it but passionate.
I guess it comes down to what makes us tick. I am full of quirks. Passionate or weird. Places I avoid - things I do - foods I eat or don't. Music that moves me. I know I dissed Glee. I do like it. In a love/hate sorta way. It's hard for me.
I am picking my drumbeat - my cadence. I hope it works.
My prayer for you is that you have yours and it moves you.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Glee
so. I'd be kidding if I said I didn't watched the show. Though - really it was after the fact. I didn't want to like the show. frankly it seemed lame and stupid and nothing I would actually care about. but watch it - I did . . . . I'd also be kidding to say I liked it. I actually DID NOT. In reality. I dislike it. I didn't like Seinfeld for the same reason. you - as a viewer are not supposed to like anybody. All of the characters are flawed and unlikeable. even the mostly like able ones. really. You are supposed to dislike everybody. except for the music - the show pretty much kinda sucks and makes me depressed for the human race. everybody hates everybody. yeah glee! gay people hating. white people hating. whatever Santana is hating - yeah. haters all around.
so that brings me to today and me. I had a very very good friend tell me that my blog was shit and no body cares and to just stop.
talk about a cold wet squirrel in the face and thank youthefuckveryfuckingmuchbitch.com
yes. I am writing a book that most of the humans I knew in my life prolly don't want me to write and here's someone I really dug who tells me my writing sucks. Yeah - how about a red iceee in the face.
If I do finish this book. I expect a lot of iceeees. cuz it's not pretty but it's honest. I guess it's never been about who likes you it's about what I think. take it or leave it. game on.
so that brings me to today and me. I had a very very good friend tell me that my blog was shit and no body cares and to just stop.
talk about a cold wet squirrel in the face and thank youthefuckveryfuckingmuchbitch.com
yes. I am writing a book that most of the humans I knew in my life prolly don't want me to write and here's someone I really dug who tells me my writing sucks. Yeah - how about a red iceee in the face.
If I do finish this book. I expect a lot of iceeees. cuz it's not pretty but it's honest. I guess it's never been about who likes you it's about what I think. take it or leave it. game on.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Bono Vox
I'm pretty sure that's bad Latin. U2 may know.
I strongly DO NOT LIKE JK Rowling. Yeah I know my own personal sister and the rest of the universe would take GRAVE offense to that statement but I really dislike her style of writing. She - In my non-multibillion pound producing mind is very sludgy as a writer. It takes me too long to read her because she's too hard to get through. I don't like her "style" or more to the point - "VOICE". I read most of her first book and snored through it all. I didn't really care what happened to Harry since it seemed she didn't either. She - as most British writers - seemed to be somewhere else when it was all happening and Damn if they really didn't care all that much when they were there .... Now don't get this wrong. I don't dislike British writers - no. just her.
Now Hemingway.
A man who ran with the bulls
The war correspondent
A Man's Man. who could.
write like a woman.
He could get into a woman's head and write like she thinks. Don't believe me? Please read To Have and Have Not. He understood and got it. Prolly why he killed himself. just sayin
So my sister and I nearly got into a fist fight over freaking Harry Potter. AND - for the record I'd have kicked her skinny ass to the curb if it got that far. She may be more educated but I can street fight. :D
totally kidding. I'd have shanked her and hid the body.
I watch Criminal Minds. I got this.
So knowing how I like voice and I like certain writers and I know what voice I personally have - My daughter is right now on this Percy Jackson thing and telling me how the the Movies suck compared to the books (as always - cough cough - the Shining) so ummmmmm hey Trinity - we have the whole series of books right? Ok? OK!!!
Rick Riordan. HOLY crap !!! IMHO okay forget the H. He's a billion times better writer than JK wishes she were. If it didn't start raining on me I'd not have come inside. Sucked in on page 3 !!! WOW.
I guess my thing is when you find a writer you GET or don't get - you understand voice. or more to the point - Don't understand voice. I read really really fast. A sludgy writer or someone I don't get slows me. I hate that. It's like reading a book in a language you knew but haven't used in 20 years. It makes things super taxing and not in a good way.
OK - gonna go read now. The Lightening Thief. good stuff. thanks Trin.
Oh and Happy Birthday to my gorgeous Son. 15 as of 10:20 this morning. I remember it like it was 15 yrs ago. :D Thank you for being You 100%
I strongly DO NOT LIKE JK Rowling. Yeah I know my own personal sister and the rest of the universe would take GRAVE offense to that statement but I really dislike her style of writing. She - In my non-multibillion pound producing mind is very sludgy as a writer. It takes me too long to read her because she's too hard to get through. I don't like her "style" or more to the point - "VOICE". I read most of her first book and snored through it all. I didn't really care what happened to Harry since it seemed she didn't either. She - as most British writers - seemed to be somewhere else when it was all happening and Damn if they really didn't care all that much when they were there .... Now don't get this wrong. I don't dislike British writers - no. just her.
Now Hemingway.
A man who ran with the bulls
The war correspondent
A Man's Man. who could.
write like a woman.
He could get into a woman's head and write like she thinks. Don't believe me? Please read To Have and Have Not. He understood and got it. Prolly why he killed himself. just sayin
So my sister and I nearly got into a fist fight over freaking Harry Potter. AND - for the record I'd have kicked her skinny ass to the curb if it got that far. She may be more educated but I can street fight. :D
totally kidding. I'd have shanked her and hid the body.
I watch Criminal Minds. I got this.
So knowing how I like voice and I like certain writers and I know what voice I personally have - My daughter is right now on this Percy Jackson thing and telling me how the the Movies suck compared to the books (as always - cough cough - the Shining) so ummmmmm hey Trinity - we have the whole series of books right? Ok? OK!!!
Rick Riordan. HOLY crap !!! IMHO okay forget the H. He's a billion times better writer than JK wishes she were. If it didn't start raining on me I'd not have come inside. Sucked in on page 3 !!! WOW.
I guess my thing is when you find a writer you GET or don't get - you understand voice. or more to the point - Don't understand voice. I read really really fast. A sludgy writer or someone I don't get slows me. I hate that. It's like reading a book in a language you knew but haven't used in 20 years. It makes things super taxing and not in a good way.
OK - gonna go read now. The Lightening Thief. good stuff. thanks Trin.
Oh and Happy Birthday to my gorgeous Son. 15 as of 10:20 this morning. I remember it like it was 15 yrs ago. :D Thank you for being You 100%
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
heavy lifting
being a parent is the hardest fucking job on the planet - to date. at least for me. It sucked the life out of my boobs. FOR REAL. 36 C to a 34 B at best.
It has also messed with my brain. I used to LOVE horror movies. really. really really. LOVED that shit. then I had humans that I care about come out of me and then the universe shifted and it was all about what happened to them. I NOW can NOT understand PAYING to be scared when the news on TV for free freaks me the hell out!!!! I am now totally suspect of you if you can actually watch a horror flick and not care. I can barely watch Criminal Minds without freaking.
Being a full time parent for THREE amazing but totally different and at most times DIFFICULT humans is challenging and also the most humanizing thing ever. If you have kids - pay attention - wanna see your worst traits? there they are. Full force - in play and making fun of how cool you thought you were. maybe if you are lucky you will see your good ones too.
here's where it gets hard. Divorce the spouse you had these kids with. And then see your spouse in your kids My son is my ex - physically. He's all crazy curly hair and suddenly skinny though he eats me out of a fridge in day!!! And it makes me smile. I remember being young. My son is so sweet. He's a different egg. Asperger's makes him different but loving. I love my son so much. My daughters are more like me but also different. Trinity acts independent and smart but craves attention and love. Yeah. Me.
Aislinn is PURE Sullivan. creative - dramatic - fun and social. She is super sweet - but has explosive emotions. She - like her sister need to be given daily love and affirmation. Good thing I'm here.
I love the parents I have and GOD knows I've made a truck load of mistakes.. . but I know my kids.
I don't think my parents knew what to do with me and my siblings. God knows I barely know what to do with my kids and I have had a train load of education and support and psychobabble.
Personally I think to be a parent you have to unplug yourself and your personality and YET also realize that you are part of this. You and what you do - say and are part of - impacts who these humans in your house turn into. You have to let them be who they are and want to be but also inject your subtle influence. SUBTLE being the ultimate word. I have learned that being a HEAVY handed parent turns your kids into the opposite of what you think is good. Tim (the ex) always said - play music loud and be weird and your kids will end up normal. I like that approach. As young parents we spoke to our kids like adults - played music loud and didn't pretend like we were not in charge. I have some pretty great kids if I can be so bold to say. They are all now in Middle School and Liam starts High School in September. I'm proud of my kids. I love them more than O2 because they are the best and worst of me and Tim. They are part of my Midwest life and now thriving here in VA. I love Virginia. It is amazing. I don't know anywhere I would rather be except maybe TX or FL. This state is amazing.
Just sayin. But being a parent is the heaviest of heavy lifting. and also the lightest. :D
It has also messed with my brain. I used to LOVE horror movies. really. really really. LOVED that shit. then I had humans that I care about come out of me and then the universe shifted and it was all about what happened to them. I NOW can NOT understand PAYING to be scared when the news on TV for free freaks me the hell out!!!! I am now totally suspect of you if you can actually watch a horror flick and not care. I can barely watch Criminal Minds without freaking.
Being a full time parent for THREE amazing but totally different and at most times DIFFICULT humans is challenging and also the most humanizing thing ever. If you have kids - pay attention - wanna see your worst traits? there they are. Full force - in play and making fun of how cool you thought you were. maybe if you are lucky you will see your good ones too.
here's where it gets hard. Divorce the spouse you had these kids with. And then see your spouse in your kids My son is my ex - physically. He's all crazy curly hair and suddenly skinny though he eats me out of a fridge in day!!! And it makes me smile. I remember being young. My son is so sweet. He's a different egg. Asperger's makes him different but loving. I love my son so much. My daughters are more like me but also different. Trinity acts independent and smart but craves attention and love. Yeah. Me.
Aislinn is PURE Sullivan. creative - dramatic - fun and social. She is super sweet - but has explosive emotions. She - like her sister need to be given daily love and affirmation. Good thing I'm here.
I love the parents I have and GOD knows I've made a truck load of mistakes.. . but I know my kids.
I don't think my parents knew what to do with me and my siblings. God knows I barely know what to do with my kids and I have had a train load of education and support and psychobabble.
Personally I think to be a parent you have to unplug yourself and your personality and YET also realize that you are part of this. You and what you do - say and are part of - impacts who these humans in your house turn into. You have to let them be who they are and want to be but also inject your subtle influence. SUBTLE being the ultimate word. I have learned that being a HEAVY handed parent turns your kids into the opposite of what you think is good. Tim (the ex) always said - play music loud and be weird and your kids will end up normal. I like that approach. As young parents we spoke to our kids like adults - played music loud and didn't pretend like we were not in charge. I have some pretty great kids if I can be so bold to say. They are all now in Middle School and Liam starts High School in September. I'm proud of my kids. I love them more than O2 because they are the best and worst of me and Tim. They are part of my Midwest life and now thriving here in VA. I love Virginia. It is amazing. I don't know anywhere I would rather be except maybe TX or FL. This state is amazing.
Just sayin. But being a parent is the heaviest of heavy lifting. and also the lightest. :D
Monday, July 22, 2013
I am judging you
Okay so that was just the teaser line - but if you are at all honest as a human or at least me - I cannot NOT judge someone based on who or what I perceive is their intent or drive.
For me it's amicability.
Are you bitchy and opinionated and that opinion goes without the justification that makes me believe even if i disagree with you - you will still not want to shank me? I have "friends/family members" I believe despite degrees and oaths would - ABSOLUTELY - shank me. Not my favorite humans. And I will go to my grave saying so. I am - basically a really nice chick. I rescue dogs and have birthed babies. I bake bread for people and open my house to kids that have nowhere else to go during the week in the summer. Oh wait - they are mine. Jesus !!! and I feed them!!! COME on - they are a tough crowd!!! wanting Ice Cream and stuff.
Really. I do judge people.. Be honest - we all do it. NOBODY is not racist - - even just a little bit.
Let me be honest - I'd take 12 George Z's to one Trayvon. AND Here's why - have you have ever been scared in a parking lot with your purse held tight to your chest. sorry but being real. I HAVE! BE real!!! I've lived in several big cities. It's real and if you say it's not you are dumb.
I'd take a man doing what HE thought was right over a SUPPOSED punk any damn day. This is not celebrating ending a man's life - but let's be real? how many gang deaths do we never ever hear about? I HATE that a young man had his life ended and someone else had his picked apart by lawyers and posers but If you have ever locked your car door LADIES when someone is close - be HONEST for once. George isn't the threat unless YOU are one. George isn't the problem. The problem is still the problem.
We are not nice as a HUMAN RACE as a general rule. It makes me sad that someone that I know doesn't see the universe as I see it but I don't take that as an act of war. I see the God that made the human eye as kind of the non-petty sort and gets that we are not as smart - big - all knowing NOR mysterious as HE is.
I love my doctor. She is Indian of the West variety. I love love love her. Her fingers are longer than my arm! (a bit exaggerated) but she's balanced. I like that. I think she's Hindu. though there's no evidence. just vibe. I love her. i would trust her to make the best decision ever for my children my hubby or myself. I trust her. I have built a relationship over the last 3 years of in and out with her that warrants that position. I trust my doctors because I pray and then choose them wisely. My midwife was chosen. My Doctor was chosen and she was AMAZING. My pediatrician was the one who told me not to vaccine my babies before they were a year and then left us to be a "DR without Borders." ass. lol - he is an amazing man I love and respect him. YES we vaccinated our kids. just not as infants. I'm not stupid.
If you think you don't judge another human based on who you are, where - or even just the day you are having you are misguided. Be real.
I am judging you on your Guacamole recipe.
Mine is amazing. My hands are still burning. Text me if you want it. I know there are toes I've stepped on writing this but I calls um like I seez um and I am too old not to. If something hit you - good. chances are it should have.
And we should be all based on what we can bring to a party.
2 ripe avocados
2 jalapenos (with seeds - duh)
3 romas
half an onion
citric acid or a full on lemon assault
.
not a ton of cash but goodness.
I know I will have haters but if we can't be honest with what we think or feel - I personally believe we have nothing. Lisa Lampenelli is one of my favorite comediennes - she is funny and rude and nasty and vile and yet totally completely accurate. That is a rare gift. And real.
For me it's amicability.
Are you bitchy and opinionated and that opinion goes without the justification that makes me believe even if i disagree with you - you will still not want to shank me? I have "friends/family members" I believe despite degrees and oaths would - ABSOLUTELY - shank me. Not my favorite humans. And I will go to my grave saying so. I am - basically a really nice chick. I rescue dogs and have birthed babies. I bake bread for people and open my house to kids that have nowhere else to go during the week in the summer. Oh wait - they are mine. Jesus !!! and I feed them!!! COME on - they are a tough crowd!!! wanting Ice Cream and stuff.
Really. I do judge people.. Be honest - we all do it. NOBODY is not racist - - even just a little bit.
Let me be honest - I'd take 12 George Z's to one Trayvon. AND Here's why - have you have ever been scared in a parking lot with your purse held tight to your chest. sorry but being real. I HAVE! BE real!!! I've lived in several big cities. It's real and if you say it's not you are dumb.
I'd take a man doing what HE thought was right over a SUPPOSED punk any damn day. This is not celebrating ending a man's life - but let's be real? how many gang deaths do we never ever hear about? I HATE that a young man had his life ended and someone else had his picked apart by lawyers and posers but If you have ever locked your car door LADIES when someone is close - be HONEST for once. George isn't the threat unless YOU are one. George isn't the problem. The problem is still the problem.
We are not nice as a HUMAN RACE as a general rule. It makes me sad that someone that I know doesn't see the universe as I see it but I don't take that as an act of war. I see the God that made the human eye as kind of the non-petty sort and gets that we are not as smart - big - all knowing NOR mysterious as HE is.
I love my doctor. She is Indian of the West variety. I love love love her. Her fingers are longer than my arm! (a bit exaggerated) but she's balanced. I like that. I think she's Hindu. though there's no evidence. just vibe. I love her. i would trust her to make the best decision ever for my children my hubby or myself. I trust her. I have built a relationship over the last 3 years of in and out with her that warrants that position. I trust my doctors because I pray and then choose them wisely. My midwife was chosen. My Doctor was chosen and she was AMAZING. My pediatrician was the one who told me not to vaccine my babies before they were a year and then left us to be a "DR without Borders." ass. lol - he is an amazing man I love and respect him. YES we vaccinated our kids. just not as infants. I'm not stupid.
If you think you don't judge another human based on who you are, where - or even just the day you are having you are misguided. Be real.
I am judging you on your Guacamole recipe.
Mine is amazing. My hands are still burning. Text me if you want it. I know there are toes I've stepped on writing this but I calls um like I seez um and I am too old not to. If something hit you - good. chances are it should have.
And we should be all based on what we can bring to a party.
2 ripe avocados
2 jalapenos (with seeds - duh)
3 romas
half an onion
citric acid or a full on lemon assault
.
not a ton of cash but goodness.
I know I will have haters but if we can't be honest with what we think or feel - I personally believe we have nothing. Lisa Lampenelli is one of my favorite comediennes - she is funny and rude and nasty and vile and yet totally completely accurate. That is a rare gift. And real.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
invisible walls
"Something there is that doesn't love a wall . . . "
Okay. I am a TOTAL lover of walls. and fences. barriers and hedges. I am a very very private person when it comes to my home. If you are welcome and I trust you as friend - then you have an open invite 24/7 to my home and all that that entails, you have a room and clean sheets and I'll cook for you and entertain you completely - but if not welcome then I would rather not see you in my private domain.
It's just who I am. I will certainly HELP a stranger but I'm always on guard. Too many episodes of "Criminal Minds" I guess. or perhaps I just know the world we live in. I trust God and try not to be stupid at the same time.
That said. a war of sorts has begun. I knew it was brewing a while back but now it's in full armistice mode. lines being drawn - battle plans discussed - weapons made ready.
"Good fences make good neighbors."
"before I built a wall I'd ask to know
what was I walling in or walling out,
something there is that doesn't love a wall. . . "
I understand our chain link fence that keeps our canines from both hurtling themselves into traffic and mingling with neighbor dogs. I understand the fence around our pool that keeps eyes off of the females that reside in our house. . . aka myself and girlies.
I guess I understand walls and fences. they are known boundaries. I KNOW good fences - aka boundaries DO make for better relationships since they establish what is okay and what is not okay. What is acceptable given who you are in relation to who I am and such - all that I totally understand.
Then comes the hardest of the boundaries. . . the unwritten.
We have, as a family in the last 6 months undertaken a huge renovation of our front & backyard. We built a garage and tore apart our front. Blocks now rise where there was once mangy grass. Cement where there was nothing and a gorgeous garage where there were once crappy sheds. amazing and SOOOOO pretty. and so. . . .
We systematically pissed off our UBER jealous neighbor who has lived in his tiny BUT well kept house for a million (or so) years in one fell swoop. He does NOT have a garage. and is struggling to live day to day but is very very very very very (did I say very) protective of his yard and also the public property in front of his house. We had to have our gas line replaced by the GAS (FREAKING) COMPANY since they discovered (oh my!) it's leaking. in two places.
did I mention - not our fault yet?
they started at 8am and did not finish til 10:45pm!!! street blocked off - and wait for it wait for it . . . they were parked in front of his house. He had the balls to ask the gas company to move. There was a dangerous gas leak but he wanted them to leave or move out of the PUBLIC parking in front of his house.
Let me stop here and say - I like the man. I understand him on a pretty good level and I know in my heart he's a good guy - but WRONG in his thinking. But I want to make nice. Since I live here and wars among neighbors NEVER end well. I take the high road. I give him handmade bread and beet seeds. I make peace.
But bread and seeds will not stop a jealous heart. Nothing can. I know he's plotting - since that's what jealousy does even to nice people.
We are within code and GOD WILLING will be done with this crap soon. I want my privacy back. I don't do well with workers in my yard - nice though they are - and I have a blueberry I NEED to get in the ground.
Roger is threatening to put up a 6ft fence between us and our neighbor. That would kill his garden. AND would be a horrible thing to do and I refuse to let it happen EXCEPT as a last and I DO mean LAST resort.
But like I said - battle lines and plans. . . .
I try to walk in the feet of the one who said (paraphrased in JC's words) GO the EXTRA mile . . .
Wars with neighbors NEVER ever ends well. but I can't fix a jealous heart. only God can do that.
I'm so happy for what we have done to our house I really don't want this to overshadow and will try to not let it.
Perhaps I need to bake more bread. And pray. If you could all join me I'd be thankful.
I have an Amish - (aka Mormon) bread starter going. Got my bases covered I hope.
Peace
Robert Frost - Mending Wall
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors'.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say 'Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me~
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."
Okay. I am a TOTAL lover of walls. and fences. barriers and hedges. I am a very very private person when it comes to my home. If you are welcome and I trust you as friend - then you have an open invite 24/7 to my home and all that that entails, you have a room and clean sheets and I'll cook for you and entertain you completely - but if not welcome then I would rather not see you in my private domain.
It's just who I am. I will certainly HELP a stranger but I'm always on guard. Too many episodes of "Criminal Minds" I guess. or perhaps I just know the world we live in. I trust God and try not to be stupid at the same time.
That said. a war of sorts has begun. I knew it was brewing a while back but now it's in full armistice mode. lines being drawn - battle plans discussed - weapons made ready.
"Good fences make good neighbors."
"before I built a wall I'd ask to know
what was I walling in or walling out,
something there is that doesn't love a wall. . . "
I understand our chain link fence that keeps our canines from both hurtling themselves into traffic and mingling with neighbor dogs. I understand the fence around our pool that keeps eyes off of the females that reside in our house. . . aka myself and girlies.
I guess I understand walls and fences. they are known boundaries. I KNOW good fences - aka boundaries DO make for better relationships since they establish what is okay and what is not okay. What is acceptable given who you are in relation to who I am and such - all that I totally understand.
Then comes the hardest of the boundaries. . . the unwritten.
We have, as a family in the last 6 months undertaken a huge renovation of our front & backyard. We built a garage and tore apart our front. Blocks now rise where there was once mangy grass. Cement where there was nothing and a gorgeous garage where there were once crappy sheds. amazing and SOOOOO pretty. and so. . . .
We systematically pissed off our UBER jealous neighbor who has lived in his tiny BUT well kept house for a million (or so) years in one fell swoop. He does NOT have a garage. and is struggling to live day to day but is very very very very very (did I say very) protective of his yard and also the public property in front of his house. We had to have our gas line replaced by the GAS (FREAKING) COMPANY since they discovered (oh my!) it's leaking. in two places.
did I mention - not our fault yet?
they started at 8am and did not finish til 10:45pm!!! street blocked off - and wait for it wait for it . . . they were parked in front of his house. He had the balls to ask the gas company to move. There was a dangerous gas leak but he wanted them to leave or move out of the PUBLIC parking in front of his house.
Let me stop here and say - I like the man. I understand him on a pretty good level and I know in my heart he's a good guy - but WRONG in his thinking. But I want to make nice. Since I live here and wars among neighbors NEVER end well. I take the high road. I give him handmade bread and beet seeds. I make peace.
But bread and seeds will not stop a jealous heart. Nothing can. I know he's plotting - since that's what jealousy does even to nice people.
We are within code and GOD WILLING will be done with this crap soon. I want my privacy back. I don't do well with workers in my yard - nice though they are - and I have a blueberry I NEED to get in the ground.
Roger is threatening to put up a 6ft fence between us and our neighbor. That would kill his garden. AND would be a horrible thing to do and I refuse to let it happen EXCEPT as a last and I DO mean LAST resort.
But like I said - battle lines and plans. . . .
I try to walk in the feet of the one who said (paraphrased in JC's words) GO the EXTRA mile . . .
Wars with neighbors NEVER ever ends well. but I can't fix a jealous heart. only God can do that.
I'm so happy for what we have done to our house I really don't want this to overshadow and will try to not let it.
Perhaps I need to bake more bread. And pray. If you could all join me I'd be thankful.
I have an Amish - (aka Mormon) bread starter going. Got my bases covered I hope.
Peace
Robert Frost - Mending Wall
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors'.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say 'Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me~
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Against all Odds . . . .
Alright - I have to admit that's a bit of a stretch for a title. It was a movie I never actually watched but it was a theme song I sang (embarrassingly loud) with my best friend Jodi W. while she expertly played piano. STILL it is a moving song. And as a concept I sorta get it.
I am an unabashed Christian. Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I believe that the Earth is NOT millions or Billions of years old. I believe in the flood. I also believe that dinosaurs existed.
ANYwhooooo .. . I believe the Bible. The Bible of Moses and Abraham and Jesus. That being said . . . I believe God knows VERY clearly where we are living today. We are sooooo NOT in the Garden of Eden. We don't exist in His perfect idea of life. Nobody that we heard about - besides Adam and Eve and maybe Cain and Abel knew how amazing it was. We won't ever definitively know. Heaven is going to be WAYYYYYY different - or so I've heard.
That said. I trust God. I totally trust that what HIS book says is true will work today as it did previous.
WHICH makes me also NOT trust false prophets who tell you to do dumb things - like play with poisonous snakes because someone in the BIBLE was EXAGGERATING. I say things all the time to make a point. I don't know precisely how many camels would fit through needle eyes but my guess is ZERO!!!! Jesus was using a METAPHOR!!!! It's a literary term. God is not saying - hey dumb ass - test me and see how many snakes bite and kill you. . . . it was just a reference to - UM WELL, TRUST GOD!!!! Personally if you need the Cliff Notes here - you WIN the Darwin award. Go ahead Bubba - the snakes are all yours.
Do I believe that Angelina Jolie made the right choice to cut off her breasts with the help of the best surgeons in the universe to circumvent getting cancer?
Hell YES!
Do I think the rest of the known universe without the help of the best surgeons in that same universe would have been able to take months off to care for themselves and their brood of kids and responsibilities? no. Does Obama Care cover such a procedure? Ouch. right.
Do I care right now if she did the right thing? Yeah. Good for her. All I could think right away was that I saw those gorgeous breasts in the movie Gia. Yeah. She's HOT! But she's a mom now. Not even the tiniest bit less amazing but suddenly with more responsibility. She doesn't want to fight the odds - she wants to mitigate them.
If the "house always wins," don't play. I was married in Vegas. I get that one!
I would have done the exact same thing. If it meant cutting off a leg or I would be a cancerous ticking TIME BOMB? TAKE THEM both - I will figure this out. My kids need me. Certainly NOT any more than her kids need her but obviously I'm not a BAZILLIONAIRE married to freaking Brad Pitt.
I'm frankly offended that there are radical church freaks taking lame pot shots at her. I trust God but when I get pneumonia I don't JUST pray I get an antibiotic thankyouverymuch! I UNDERSTAND the people who don't trust the medical industry as a whole - I was one of them for a long time - I get disliking those Dr.s who are on the pharmaceutical companies payroll and sucking at the prescription tit. Thankfully I have met some amazing Doctors over the years who are real and WOW are actually either both Ethical AND Christian or just some really great Human Beings. They have restored my faith in medicine.
I take being a mom super serious. and whether you actually birth the kids out of you or adopt doesn't make them less yours. I get it. Good for you AJ. I'm proud of you.
I am an unabashed Christian. Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I believe that the Earth is NOT millions or Billions of years old. I believe in the flood. I also believe that dinosaurs existed.
ANYwhooooo .. . I believe the Bible. The Bible of Moses and Abraham and Jesus. That being said . . . I believe God knows VERY clearly where we are living today. We are sooooo NOT in the Garden of Eden. We don't exist in His perfect idea of life. Nobody that we heard about - besides Adam and Eve and maybe Cain and Abel knew how amazing it was. We won't ever definitively know. Heaven is going to be WAYYYYYY different - or so I've heard.
That said. I trust God. I totally trust that what HIS book says is true will work today as it did previous.
WHICH makes me also NOT trust false prophets who tell you to do dumb things - like play with poisonous snakes because someone in the BIBLE was EXAGGERATING. I say things all the time to make a point. I don't know precisely how many camels would fit through needle eyes but my guess is ZERO!!!! Jesus was using a METAPHOR!!!! It's a literary term. God is not saying - hey dumb ass - test me and see how many snakes bite and kill you. . . . it was just a reference to - UM WELL, TRUST GOD!!!! Personally if you need the Cliff Notes here - you WIN the Darwin award. Go ahead Bubba - the snakes are all yours.
Do I believe that Angelina Jolie made the right choice to cut off her breasts with the help of the best surgeons in the universe to circumvent getting cancer?
Hell YES!
Do I think the rest of the known universe without the help of the best surgeons in that same universe would have been able to take months off to care for themselves and their brood of kids and responsibilities? no. Does Obama Care cover such a procedure? Ouch. right.
Do I care right now if she did the right thing? Yeah. Good for her. All I could think right away was that I saw those gorgeous breasts in the movie Gia. Yeah. She's HOT! But she's a mom now. Not even the tiniest bit less amazing but suddenly with more responsibility. She doesn't want to fight the odds - she wants to mitigate them.
If the "house always wins," don't play. I was married in Vegas. I get that one!
I would have done the exact same thing. If it meant cutting off a leg or I would be a cancerous ticking TIME BOMB? TAKE THEM both - I will figure this out. My kids need me. Certainly NOT any more than her kids need her but obviously I'm not a BAZILLIONAIRE married to freaking Brad Pitt.
I'm frankly offended that there are radical church freaks taking lame pot shots at her. I trust God but when I get pneumonia I don't JUST pray I get an antibiotic thankyouverymuch! I UNDERSTAND the people who don't trust the medical industry as a whole - I was one of them for a long time - I get disliking those Dr.s who are on the pharmaceutical companies payroll and sucking at the prescription tit. Thankfully I have met some amazing Doctors over the years who are real and WOW are actually either both Ethical AND Christian or just some really great Human Beings. They have restored my faith in medicine.
I take being a mom super serious. and whether you actually birth the kids out of you or adopt doesn't make them less yours. I get it. Good for you AJ. I'm proud of you.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Love is in the red letters. really really
I remember the day. I actually disdainfully laughed. In my overeducated and Hugely inflated ego due to far too much acadamia. I would actually like to claim that as a disability. "I'm sorry = I can't work YOUR HONOR - I'm just too fucking smart. . . . " Uh. yeah that was me.
Then there was a wedding.
I really am too embarrassed to give more details than I can because it really was a beautiful wedding. I made fun of a bride because of her choice of footwear.
It was a day that frankly will sit with me forever.
It was a wonderful wedding! But unlike the man I WAS married to - she is still there with her man. I'm glad. He is a good man. One of my all time favorite humans. and I still am shameful. It was a statement. If I had done it - it would have been cool. because DAMN it's me. she did it because she is a gorgeous woman and was making her humble statement. For me it was an arrogant - "ohhhh I'm smart and you shoeless fool ,. . . . "
damn my education. she was being open. it was an open honest moment.
and I spit on it.
shame on me.
end of day.
shame on me.
just saying. I am learning. Being educated does NOT make me a good person. Being open. Yeah. That that is learning.
MAG church. Now is going to be Chapel Springs. amazing. WORD.
Then there was a wedding.
I really am too embarrassed to give more details than I can because it really was a beautiful wedding. I made fun of a bride because of her choice of footwear.
It was a day that frankly will sit with me forever.
It was a wonderful wedding! But unlike the man I WAS married to - she is still there with her man. I'm glad. He is a good man. One of my all time favorite humans. and I still am shameful. It was a statement. If I had done it - it would have been cool. because DAMN it's me. she did it because she is a gorgeous woman and was making her humble statement. For me it was an arrogant - "ohhhh I'm smart and you shoeless fool ,. . . . "
damn my education. she was being open. it was an open honest moment.
and I spit on it.
shame on me.
end of day.
shame on me.
just saying. I am learning. Being educated does NOT make me a good person. Being open. Yeah. That that is learning.
MAG church. Now is going to be Chapel Springs. amazing. WORD.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
noodles of fury aka my dinner
I originally started writing a blog before blogs were cool. That's not a brag it is just a sad fact that I'm old and was at home with little kids and not a lot of friends. The Internet was a place to make friends of similar interests. I was part of Craftsty. A cool collective of patterns, ideas and just great folks who like crafts and make random things. I was part of several craft swaps that paired you up with someone random across the globe and you made something of a certain theme and then sent it to them and they made something for you and then sent it.
MOST
FUN
ever. really really.
my pin fish. is still the best thing anyone has made for me to date.
it's a fish made of felt sitting on a bed of water looking fabric that has beads in it. My pin fish freaking rocks.
SO. I started out as a crafty chick.
I am still.
I give you a gluten free yummy thing I call...............
wait for it
NOODLES of FURY~ or like.
whatever
I can eat them so I don't care
I can eat rice noodles so find a place and then
get some.
boil like mad ( I always add some sea salt to the water.)
before said boil is over add 1/2 lb of fresh spinach leaves
drain.
throw back in hot pot
add one egg and stir like mad
I do see a lot of mad things here :D
add parm.
eat.
I added Tabasco but I then add that shit to freaking everything.
So. Enjoy my gluten free friend. I feel your pain. My life is a sinking hole of suckage. oh. no. not really. I cope, It's not like I've abandoned my court ordered responsibility! yeah that would make me a total troll. Oh wait that's not me. so well just enjoy!
MOST
FUN
ever. really really.
my pin fish. is still the best thing anyone has made for me to date.
it's a fish made of felt sitting on a bed of water looking fabric that has beads in it. My pin fish freaking rocks.
SO. I started out as a crafty chick.
I am still.
I give you a gluten free yummy thing I call...............
wait for it
NOODLES of FURY~ or like.
whatever
I can eat them so I don't care
I can eat rice noodles so find a place and then
get some.
boil like mad ( I always add some sea salt to the water.)
before said boil is over add 1/2 lb of fresh spinach leaves
drain.
throw back in hot pot
add one egg and stir like mad
I do see a lot of mad things here :D
add parm.
eat.
I added Tabasco but I then add that shit to freaking everything.
So. Enjoy my gluten free friend. I feel your pain. My life is a sinking hole of suckage. oh. no. not really. I cope, It's not like I've abandoned my court ordered responsibility! yeah that would make me a total troll. Oh wait that's not me. so well just enjoy!
Monday, April 15, 2013
2 minutes
SO. if you are at all an American with a TV radio or internet connection you get that shit is going down in our fair country as we speak.
If you have a loved one who was hurt in jeopardy or close I'm so sorry. My daughter's teacher's daughter was running the marathon today but we know she's okay. Not actually but. . . actually YEAH.
I've never loved God more today than I ever have in my life.
They say shit happens. Yeah I know. often. daily
If you know me you know I married someone who owned my heart until he didn't. And then I moved on. With kids in tow. To the great land of VA! I freaking love DC area. But for those who live in the land of the free and home of the brave we have luxury status as in a BUCKET LIST . . . . to run a marathon was one of mine.
I was even so arrogant as to put a "before 40" on that bitch. Yeah. I trained for the Richmond Marathon for almost 8 months. it was 2011. My secret goal beyond just finishing was under 4. I ran that in 3:43. I was under and uber pleased. I qualified for BOSTON baby. but. Not 2013. they changed it in my age group by two minutes. or I would have been at that finish line with my family today. two minutes.
I was the person who slept through their alarm on Sept. 11, 2001.
BUT I admit I was angry at first. I ran - hard. I walked through the water stops but god damn to qualify for my age I ran hard. . . . I'll admit I was a bit pissed off. then. TODAY?
today.
I'm not pissed off
I'm grateful
okay I'm pissed off by the coward who took out runners.
I really would like him/her/coward group/whatever to suffer what they did to people
today. I am sad. I could have been there. I was slated to be but my JESUS made me walk for two minutes. He made me slow just a tiny bit. I finished 17 minutes before I said but still in full street cred. He made sure I was a tiny rockstar but didn't go to Boston with my family 2013.
If you ever think a door is closing in front of you . . . it may be a door that a year and a half in front of you explodes on tv. just say thank you Jesus and cry. I know I did. 2 minutes. I would have been there. with my kids.
If you have a loved one who was hurt in jeopardy or close I'm so sorry. My daughter's teacher's daughter was running the marathon today but we know she's okay. Not actually but. . . actually YEAH.
I've never loved God more today than I ever have in my life.
They say shit happens. Yeah I know. often. daily
If you know me you know I married someone who owned my heart until he didn't. And then I moved on. With kids in tow. To the great land of VA! I freaking love DC area. But for those who live in the land of the free and home of the brave we have luxury status as in a BUCKET LIST . . . . to run a marathon was one of mine.
I was even so arrogant as to put a "before 40" on that bitch. Yeah. I trained for the Richmond Marathon for almost 8 months. it was 2011. My secret goal beyond just finishing was under 4. I ran that in 3:43. I was under and uber pleased. I qualified for BOSTON baby. but. Not 2013. they changed it in my age group by two minutes. or I would have been at that finish line with my family today. two minutes.
I was the person who slept through their alarm on Sept. 11, 2001.
BUT I admit I was angry at first. I ran - hard. I walked through the water stops but god damn to qualify for my age I ran hard. . . . I'll admit I was a bit pissed off. then. TODAY?
today.
I'm not pissed off
I'm grateful
okay I'm pissed off by the coward who took out runners.
I really would like him/her/coward group/whatever to suffer what they did to people
today. I am sad. I could have been there. I was slated to be but my JESUS made me walk for two minutes. He made me slow just a tiny bit. I finished 17 minutes before I said but still in full street cred. He made sure I was a tiny rockstar but didn't go to Boston with my family 2013.
If you ever think a door is closing in front of you . . . it may be a door that a year and a half in front of you explodes on tv. just say thank you Jesus and cry. I know I did. 2 minutes. I would have been there. with my kids.
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