Grey Matter

So.  In the few short days that we have Connor Howard (esquire) we are trying to make the best of it all.  I am feverishly trying to find a job.  Feverish in that I am sick with whatever crap the older two had and shared with the one they kiss.  And I'm finally ready to start watching Grey's again.  Grey's Anatomy was THE show X and I started watching because he was THEN working 2nd shift and it was on Sunday night.  We were actually there at the PILOT -  I remember missing the first crucial minutes of each show that started at 8. aka bed time - since I was the one in charge of children . . . ha!! like they weren't also his.  . . .  AND just like his family - they were just too much for his sorry ass.

When the show moved to Thursdays i knew we were doomed.  Not because we lost a show but because I knew.

They say the wife always knows.

She does.

She just doesn't always wanna admit it.

Watching now is horrible and awesome in a nutshell.  I'm working through a whole lot of bitter and angry and want to put a giant sledge hammer through his head.  but I won't.  I don't actually want to SEE his GREY MATTER.  I just wish he used it more.   I need to find a career because I need to feel useful.  I can write despite a lot of critics.  But I write for fun.  I'm super smart and can problem solve like an SOB.  Jesus. Stick me in a problem.  I can fix it.  Is there a job for MacGyver with long red hair?

I'm an angry white girl who has unresolved daddy issues.  But.  I am kind.  and loving and fun to be with.  I'm really smart and a good friend if you are flawed.

I'm horrible if you are family since I expect you to think I'm perfect.  And when you find different I'm not so kind.  In fact I lash out in unprecedented and horribly unkind ways.  and for the ladies I've done that to I apologize.  MacS. I'm sorry.  You are not a bad person.  I just don't know you.  You never tried to know me and I'm sorta in awe of you.  so go you.  You don't ever have to like me.  That's cool. I'm kinda weird.  Opinionated - but a freaking great host should you ever want to stay at my house I will treat you like gold.  It's kinda my thing.  I have that in my DNA.  apparently we were the BnB folks way back . . .

So.  YEAH this is another axe grinding post.  If you read me - deal.  It will get better from here.  Frankly - ha ha.  frank.  ugh.  I am actually going to do something.  The runway is in sight.

Thank God.  cuz this freaking circus is killing me.