I am a total bitch

do you know that moment when God - or who ever you choose to call a higher power and if you are so dumb or arrogant to think that there is nothing bigger than you - please stop reading and just service yourself nicely and move the hell on cuz well YOU are the shit.  But for me and the rest of the people who choose to believe that IN the beginning GOD created the heavens and the earth . . . is not crap well -

I am a total bitch. 

We are in the market for a new church.  and by market - we need Pastor James McDonald from IL. He and Harvest Bible Chapel are the ONLY freaking thing I miss about IL.  I mean the ONLY.  I hated Illinois.  HATED it.  There were like 12 people I love there but they are the FEW the Proud - the Illinoisinas.  I need James.  Roger needs James.  I need Harvest here.  His word challenges me and makes me stand up like I need to.  I am a total slacker without him.  5 sermons into his walk in the word series and I am on my knees and missing who I was.  Who I know I can be in Christ and who HE wants me to be.  Frankly I am disappointed in me on levels I didn't know I had levels but I am ashamed and sad in who I have become and need to do a total change.  I need to be different. Today.  not tomorrow - today.  God made me with my personality and that I am cool with.  God really really loves me.  BUT there are things about me He hates.  OK.  I get that.  I can do what He has asked.  I can.

And I will.

To celebrate.  An adult beverage suitable for a grown up

THE negroni

1 measure of sweet vermouth
1 measure of gin (the best you can get)
1 measure of campari
in the glass you choose ice and some soda water

enjoy

and remember - there is always something bigger and more important than you.  always.