what price this thing called money?

okay - have you seen the SNL skit where the pawn shop paid full "sentimental value?"  That skit always hit me because - though I am a travel lite and tread softly on this earth person - there are things that mean things to me - mostly from my kids - the random "i lurv yu momy" drawings but there are also some accomplishments that warranted trophies that though I left the actual trophies behind the plaques and insignia still traveled with.  And yes - every term paper I first draft only drafted.  I'm a nerd - so sue me.

I have had nothing and I've been flush with this thing called money. I've had only tombstone pizza and water to eat for what seemed like months because I freakin worked there and they gave it away - and more money than my frugal self can take in... I personally pick this. Being poor sucks.  I've been there.  I've had to choose in the shopping line because I had 25 bucks and still had mouths to feed.  I don't pick that.  I can do it because I can add in my head in the store - still freakin do it though I don't need to - habits break hard.

My son is special.  As in the short bus special.  Asperber's special.  But he's amazing and I want him to be amazing.  I signed him up for a program that deals in Autistic and Asperber youth.  It's not free.  Wait.  It's f'n stupid expensive.  But - if you look at a human success or failure . . .  it's free.  He came home a rock star.  He was full of ideas and talk and willing to take off his sweatshirt (aka security blanket).  UGH!!!  amazing!

My newest favorite show behind Anthony Bourdain(no reservations) - CSI - LV - is Big Bang Theory.  My son is so like Sheldon - lite.  Sorry - I don't watch tv per say so this (yes 5 years in the making!) is new to me -   I only hope he can rise above his lack of social skills - or just knowing when his enthusiasm knocks someone out of his way.  That would personally make me happy - that and closing his mouth when he eats.  But my son is great and is going to be a great person if given the right encouragement and support.  All my kids are going to be amazing and rock in their own right.  Not because they have learned to speak mandarin at 2.5 and were potty trained as fetus' - but because they have a mom who tries.  I fall down a LOT.  I suck as a mom a lot.  But I try.  I get the costume fabric that was asked for and WOW mom this is better than what I was thinking!!!  WOW thanks!.  That is going on my tombstone- thank you. 

I work a very stressful job - okay who doesn't.  But if you take your shit seriously like I do and have that "stupid overachieving but grossly underpaid for what you do gene" - you get that my job is stupid stressful and I would be best to listen to my husband and quit and just write since I'm so amazing and could find another one just like this one in a heartbeat.  Well that may be pandering and oh so true . .  . . :D I don't just leave a job.  But yeah - I'm underpaid because I'm a woman doing a woman's job in a company that pays the 2nd in command a fraction of what they pay the next lowest man.  True that. 

It sucks - but again.  What price money?  I won't pay shit for a purse.  It's a fucking money carrier.  If I've put more into the carrier than is in my wallet . . . . really?  You have been suckered girls.  I won't pay more for a purse than I will pay for shoes - at the thrift store and that's .  . .  15 bucks.  NOW running shoes - another story - RYKA's are my girls and I buy them 3 pair at a time now.  I run on average 13 miles a day.  I love it.  but I burn them out before they look worn. 

I will pay for my son to be his best.  I will sell my left arm to get him to the best place he needs to be.  I've been poor - I've been rich and as far as I'm concerned - Today is rich to me.  I so totally know I'm not rich - we drove through Clinton VA today.  I'm NOT rich.  JC. I'm not rich.  But since I'm wearing good clothes and driving a Volvo that's paid for and we had shrimp and lobster and steak for dinner last night (I found the most amazing Korean grocery store that practically gives it away if you don't mind that no one speaks English) I am still me - but I just care about things that matter to me = pretty much to the exclusive.  I knit because I can - I spin wool because I can and I cook because it feeds my soul.  Beyond that is books (uber necessary) and running.  I run to keep my mind at level set.

It's money - they make more everyday.  It's Roald Dahl and the Bible.  Two amazing sources.  I embrace both.  I get not having it and having it.  I'm sorry but the not - sucks.  Don't want that again.  But I can count in the store if I need to again.     Just sayin.