lil rando

This is based on a facebook post that I thought was just kinda witty.  Yeah. 

To quote, um, me:

"Do what speaks to you.  Live out loud and on purpose.  Try not to hurt things unless you have to and then apologize or say grace and enjoy.  Life ends.  Enjoy the wine."

I'm not sure those who don't KNOW me get it.  I'm not trying to overstate that I'm "COMPLICATED."  I am just Katie. 

I just finished Kitchen Confidential for like the 5th time.  It's the only book by Anthony B. that doesn't make me want to kill him.  He's got a great voice in reality - but his fiction sucks.  Bad.  I'm a writers reader and yuck. 

This makes me remember the one (count them ONE sermon my then husband Tim preached = Where is your passion?)  ugh.  I'm frankly still looking. 

fucking Pintrest.

Sorry to go all Fbomb there but Pintrest is my worst ADHD idea on steroids.  I need aderall just to approach my IPAD these days.  Do what speaks to you . . .  yes, that omg that - sqeeeeeeeee that's adorable oh MY GOOOOOOOD that's the best, why diddddn't  I think of that . . .

you see?  I'm a crafty crafter.  I am a bit of a hoarder PURELY by DNA.  I pretty much have the makings of - well.  everything.  You wanna make gak?  yeah.  I have borax.  Paint something?  what color and enamel or regular?  Glitter?  what type?  Yarn? - hahahahahhahahaha.  don't even.  I can stitch, paint, knit or pool noodle my way into whatever you wanna do.  but Pintrest added a WHOLE new level of competition.  Jesus I wanna get divorced and then remarry just to do a Pintrest wedding.  It's crazy.  What speaks to me is usefulness.

I won't knit a COZY for freaking anything.  unless it was previously cold and needed cozying and  I'm fairly certain my TP is NOT cold. 

I don't like useless things.  Art is great.  hang it wear it put on a wall or display it but dear LORD my vacuum is just fine.  she doesn't need a skirt.  I swear.  neither does my sewing machine.  her case is fine.  thankyouverymuch.

We are week two and change into the GARAGE project.  I don't like people in my yard.  I learned that this last little bit.  My dogs are on HIGH ALERT (aka BARK EVERY F'N SECOND!)  I'm rethinking my pet killing standard.  The guinea pig is the only one I DON'T want to murder lately. 

So what really sparked this post was a comment by someone I went to HS with -  miss M.  I am me.  I tend toward the non-confrontational of the species.  I don't like conflict.  just don't.  was taught at an early age to be a people pleaser.  is that the best way to be? no.  is it mine?  was.  not so much anymore but took some heartache and break to fix the worst of it.  so will I ever be my strong - say what you need to have happen sister? nope.  I prolly won't.  I just won't stand up and be that forward.  I envy her some days.  Some days I love that I'm me.   I have to.  I've got the only skin I've been given.  my heart is my heart. 
 
What M said is that she wished that everybody got her comments and live out loudness that they clearly didn't get when she shared what she was thinking to them.    OK.  Live out loud doesn't mean being mean, or rude.  If you don't know what that is . . . Run a comment by me first.  I'll let you know.  Maybe that is my place in life. . .  I have a son with Asperger's.  AKA no filter.  I hear how he talks and really he doesn't mean to sound rude.  He just says what his brain is thinking.  It comes across as rude OFTEN.  If you think what you want to say to X sounds confrontational?  ASK me.  Text me later get my number . . . . I'll answer.  Ask - I'll gentle it down. 

The thing I did at my last paid job gig that made the most sense was the thing that I wasn't hired to do really.  It was Behavior Analysis.  I know how someone - given their past, and character traits are going to react.  What their next move will be and how they are feeling.  I  haven't been wrong yet. 

That and I can find things.  but that's another animal

I guess it's my hands and brain that are who I am and where I find my passion.  I can read people for the most part.  I won't ever be a chef but I will always cook.  I'm slightly crazy but smart enough to know where rational ends and fringe begins.  and I have ALMOST more yarn than God. 

life is good.