Manipulation. 101

If you want to control another human . . .  and of course that is a loaded statement since really,  what NICE person that doesn't belong on CSI  or NCIS or Criminal Minds would want to CONTROL another person?

I'm not talking trying to reason with a toddler.  PLEASE! nail Jello to a tree - that's easier and WAY more satisfying.  A toddler needs spanking and love and the reassurance that they will receive BOTH depending on behavior. It's all about the timing and the behavior.  An adult is beyond spanking unless they enjoy it.  or have paid someone and then,  well - they enjoy it.  nuff said.

But you can still make someone do what you want.  an actual consenting adult - you can.  It's all about the manipulation.  It's incredibly hurtful in the end and really,  no one wins.  You can make someone NOT talk to someone.  Not really "MAKE" so to speak but rather to make it difficult and uncomfortable for them to do so - to berate when they speak to that person and to take their phone and see who they are speaking to daily.  And then question who and why.  That is manipulation.  and not love.  You could check phone records and then count text messages all in the name of "I love you and have the right to do so."   That is manipulation. and not love.  but love also is not seeking the time and affection of someone else who you are not married to.  that is not love either.

love is patient.  it waits for you to figure out that you are being stupid and acting out and just need to calm the hell down.  love does not stalk (that is my addition)

love is kind.  it doesn't slam you into a wall or your face into the floor.  love doesn't break your nose.  love doesn't grab your balls and try to rip them off.

basically love is not self-serving.  which is why God is love and we suck.  most of the time.

Manipulation is self-serving since it's basically saying, "I want YOU to do THIS and act this way for ME!"  It doesn't allow for personality or difference or preference.  Adults need to be able to exercise all of that to thrive.

God could make us puppets.  He really could (in my Judeo-Christian view of the universe ruled by Jehovah God who's son is JC and the Holy Spirit that rocks it all) but what fun is being loved by a robot you programmed?  I want my kids to love me (someday when I'm not the BITCH MOM from hell that sucks all fun from the world!) but I am not their FRIEND today.  I'm the heavy.  I'm authority.  I take away fun for bad behavior and reward the things they Don't Really Want To Do Anyway . . .  !  I'm kinda "God-lite."    I want my little people to be THEM.  in all the awesomeness their dad and I put into them but would be UBER sad if they ended up in prison!  I want them to thrive in their "theirness" but also know that there are actually rules to the universe and that they are in this universe and need to adhere to said rules . . .  and stuff.

Manipulation can rear it's ugly head in so so  many places.  You really would be surprised by who manipulates you or tries and then why.  Mostly in the workplace.  Mostly by people who want you to do what they say and not even know you are doing it.  If this is happening to you - don't be most people.  Realize it and then do other.

Love is long suffering.  and a lot of other really cool things that we as humans struggle with.  which is why we crave love more than anything and fail at it so often.

we are looking in the wrong places and with human eyes.

again.  something we want - not sure we deserve - but want anyway.

It is unfortunately - women who are the objects of manipulation simply because men seem to be better at control than we are.  BUT it's not always that way.  just a lot.

end of day if I've imparted a passing thought - it's "What moves you to do what you do?"   If you find it's totally self-serving - chances are there's someone in your wake.  an assistant, wife, office admin, whomever that bears the weight of your deal.  realize it and move beyond.

if you are the weight bearing creature.  realize it and move beyond.  stand up and know that weight is NOT yours.

love bears all things.  God is love.