life as a house.

I can't un live this life.  It's where I stand today.  we are all the same - exactly the SAME.  today.  alive or just recently in the process of not being alive or just recently dying.  we are all HERE today.  breathing the air we are allowed until - well- we aren't.  I hate being so heavy but when you are around HEAVY things it's where you are.  there's a lot going, well, on.  I'm kind of a wild card lately.  Only my sweet Sarrah knows what planet Katie is going to be like and she's uber cool about where it is.  I'm done with drama.  OKAY LORD - ya'll know I'm a big GIRL with BIG drama that follows her - but in a good positive way.  I'm NOT the "angie o'" at every party crying in the freaking corner needing support for some weird girl thing.  and HUGE sidebar

That actually is a person.  she will be in my book as another name.

We are all here.  right NOW. and now and NOW.  starving in a poor bedroom in Baltimore or a brothel in Manassas Park Virginia across the street from me.  or Indonesia or Ireland or wherever.  We don't always care for our poor.  We, as humans - we really suck at fixing issues.  We don't really know what the hell to do - democrats just feel bad and throw money but really don't fix things.  Republicans try to do things from the top down but nothing fixes the core problems that are outside of politics and frankly - gonna pull a card here.  Women need to step up and help more.  Church -  NO MATTER what the religion.  WE are the care-giver's  WE are the fixers.  I don't care who you pray to - really - ladies!!!.  we do more and fix more OUTSIDE of the drama and politics. . .  

I have personally fed more families than I can name and I hate making casseroles but you know what?  they feed hungry families that just had babies.  bring it and step up.  I don't care WHO you vote for.  Feed someone if you aren't starving yourself.   (she now steps off box)

My goal - really my goal in life was that I wanted to teach people to read.  That honestly was my goal.  I currently work for a company that rents uniforms and rags.  I previously created and sewed pillows and cushions people put their asses on.  I don't think I've made a step up. really.

But life has put me here.  owner of three amazing - interesting and unique kids and three dogs that are stupid on a funny level.

if you have never watched Life as a House. it is a movie that will sneak up on you in the human sense and move you in ways that may surprise.  If you are not a parent it may not make as much sense.  If  you are a divorced parent it may kill you.    I love it since it's so perfect.

I've had several houses.  Never one built FOR me.  I was given a vision of my house in heaven and it's pretty cool.  Frankly it looks like an earth ship.  Google them.  I am a closet survivalist so - well - I know some crazy things. .  :D

but I have never had anyone build a house for me so my life may be in a house someday but my life is NOT a house since the ones I've had have never BEEN "me."  Like my mom - I've always tried to make do with what we've been dealt.  You get good at it - but much like wearing someone Else's underwear - it's always a little weird and uncomfortable.  You just learn to figure it out and be gracious and thankful and find a place for the . . . .