let's give em something to talk about....

or so so so NOT.

I was always the-in-your-face-here-it-is girl.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.  my HS/COLLEGE peeps are like - HUH?  NO YOU SO WERE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually,  I more was the covert WHO THE HELL AM I? girl.  I knew what I wanted but I was never gonna tell you. . . . cuz that was asking for something. who was I to - ask - for anything.  I was made of shit.  sorry.

flash forward.  I have a daughter who has that as dna.  OH man am I working to change things from the past fast and but quick.  When you personally see YOUR damage in your own child you fix it fast if you are paying attention.    My mom is smarter and more creative than she will allow herself to be.  Leave it say I come from creative crafty smart folk.  I just chose to also be educated.  My  sister could diagnose half the planet's mental illness.  let her - she rocks. If you are in the Atlanta GA area - ping me.  She will fix you fast.  She likes crazy people.  Her family is part of that.

I am actually NOT made of shit.  I am a strong woman.  shock. I know right?  I can run.  really fast as I learned today.  wow.  cool.  I won't kill your buzz since this is only me running against - um. me.  I'm just pleased. I've gotten 2 miles an hour faster since I started.  :D

So now random thoughts . . .

I was listening to Bonnie Raitt today.  she is so great.

I was also talking to a dear soul friend in need today.  If you have someone in a state of unsettled pain I will pray for you.  I kinda got this thing.  It's not really me (more a God thing) I'd love to do it - I feel things that most people think is crap but I know isn't.  I don't care what people think anymore.  when I find what you are missing that you asked me to find - suddenly I'm not a freak and just cool.  I don't care.  Freak or cool.  I'm just me.

I do really wish I'd picked music as a career.  I can sing or rather CLARIFICATION -I can mimic.  I SOOOOO don't write music - just words but I can mimic pretty much anyone.  which makes me a great fake.  I can Thunder to anyone's Lightening.  word.

So I really believe I'm done working for RC in less than 8 weeks.  I want better/need better/deserve better.  I feel it.  do you?  I want better than getting screamed at by asssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhholes.  I don't make enough to get berated and called names by men who wear the uniforms that the company who pays me provides (inadequately).  $38,000 isn't enough to be told I suck and that I should essentially go home.  But ya know - he was right.  I should.  and will.  thanks Antoine.  voice of - well = assholes everywhere.

I will.