Mud pie

I have discovered that I write in mud.  I deign to imagine that I write with the cunning and care of a diamond cutter - a master sculptor - cutting away what should not be there - preserving only the smallest - the very essence of what I am trying to impart.  I would love to think that I am immensely eloquent and that every phrase and turn of my words is simple and precise - like a haiku.

Spy a winter tree
with just the few leaves clinging
for their own sad life

I am neither that haiku (though I think is nice :D) nor that tree!

No, I am a freakin Mardi Gras parade!  Too loud - too weird (at times) and over the top pretty much most of the time!  I write with the mud theory - if I throw enough - some has got to stick.  If I just keep writing - (just keep swimming) - just keep writing something somewhere in the cosmos will notice and all will be well with my soul.  I talk too much - usually OVER people and I really really do try not to do that- since it IS so very rude - it's just that if we are having a really great conversation I am so excited that you are talking to me and I want you to keep talking to me so I try to jump in and keep it going.  I do try to regulate the talking out of turn since I am SO much more mature now that I am 41 rather than just 40!  Really.  

But I just have so much to say and it's in crazy staccato bursts of excitement.  I really need to say what I need to say so fast because my ADHD (okay I'm just HD) brain fires on 6 million cylinders!  It's a good thing I type fast since most of this would be lost!  But I do wish I could be a more spare - reserved - mysterious person.  I'm just not.  I'm out there - want to know something private?  Just ask.  I'll share.  My book is WAY WAY open.  Not sure that's the way it's "supposed" to be (my therapist sister says I have Boundary issues - ya think?) but that's me.  Don't think it's going to change since it really doesn't bother me much.  But I say when you are bugging me now and really don't care what EVERYONE thinks about me anymore so I'd say PROGRESS in that area! 

Back on topic now - see - too many thoughts - really need to be more focused - now, where were we? . . . . .  MUD right then, MUD!

Mud for me is such an amazing thing.  It's a medium - it's a substance - it's creation.  God made Adam from it.  I certainly won't stand in those shoes - but if you grow things out of it - you get it.  It's everything and nothing  - it's dirt.  It's perfect and filthy.  It's what we came from and where we go in our physical form.  It makes perfect sense I would use it as a metaphor!  What I have to say is so basic on myriad levels yet the sum of the parts isn't always so easy.  OR clean.  Life is messy and dirty.

So I guess the mystery for me is what I am going to do next.  I'm pretty sure my husband never knows what it's going to be  - but he loves me and is along for the messy ride. 

Though I may write with mud - I try to be more clear - but there is nothing quite like the classic mud pie! 

CLASSIC MUD PIE!
A bucket of dirt
water
sticks
pie pan
one child that will need a good dipping after!

Put water into the bucket of dirt slowly - don't add too much - no one likes a too wet mud pie (DUH)
when it's the consistency of a mud pie - put into the pie pan and let it bake in the sun.  Lay on the grass and watch the clouds.  Decide which one you like best and watch it blow across the sky.  Do it again.  Watch the cloud shapes change as they move.  Close your eyes and imagine floating up into the clouds.  Open them and see if your pie is dry.  If so, great.  If not, great.  See if you can get a younger sibling to eat it.  Get hosed off in the yard.  Get the sticks out of your hair.  Chase the dog around the yard.  Come in the house and decide to take a hot bath with bubbles.  Smile.  Well done.