alcohaulin'Ass

Yeah.  inappropriate.  But just a song and such.  I didn't want to like Mudvayne.  REALLY didn't want to. But they are too smart (okay Chad  is super smart) I assume he surrounds himself with smart awesome people - just like my favorite personal artists do - yeah D.  Hellyeah is an offshoot.  I really didn't want to like them either.   But smart and clever just speaks to me.  You can't sugar coat good when you get it.  I really don't like getting screamed at so that is not my music of choice but when you find a band (FIND as in your person listened to it every GD day while working out as you were trying to homeschool below) Smart isn't always good.  I get that. Nietzsche was smart and frankly my GOD is still alive and he's pushing up the daisies.   Much like the ex- parrot.  Smart doesn't make you good..  But really it's a start.  My favorite people.  B,D, T,R T and many other letters S too :D  Of course my sweet sister K and well since I know my brother doesn't read this f you and text me if you are offended you ass.  :D  What I'm saying is that book education doesn't make you smart or interesting.  But sorry here, it is important.  Being educated is not cheap.   and it shouldn't be counted as such.  Why I'm starting my master's next month.  I get that the company I currently work for sucks ass.  Yes. it does.  DONE.  moving ON.  Follow me sweet S.

Sorry.  I digress.

The last 5 years have been hard.  And yet an education.  I'm much harder - body and soul.  You can actually bounce quarters if you want - though I may not let you.  I'm still me - but leaner - and surprisingly more forgiving.  Looking to do something outside the box here.  I live near Congress and the Senate.  Lady Heather had it really really right.  Men with power are looking for something else.. . . .. :D Need to find a castle . . . .

Cheap wine and roses

Or yarn.

So I am, actually an educated woman.  I married (both times) college educated men. I don't always drink the good stuff,  but I can tell a nice wine with all of the things (nose, legs, mouth feel yadda yadda) you are supposed to look for.  I can quote from a book or two and a movie or twelve, but consider me a moron when it comes to wacky things.

Jadite?  Yes it's dated and vintage but walking into an antique shop I can spot it from a 100 yards behind the salt and pepper shakers shaped like fruit.

Beads?  Sadly - beads are like crack for me - I cannot allow myself to go into a bead shop anymore.  I start to tweek a bit and want to buy every sparkly thing I see.  I must be part crow

Yarn?  Sigh.  So it has been established that I may be cheap (I choose to use the word frugal thank you) but I know good yarn and Dear Lord I HAVE barrels of it ("stash" as knitters know it to be called - and mine will outlive me and be passed on to the waiting hands of someone in an estate sale unless Trin gets her act together!) My stash is just waiting for the urge or whatever it is I'm awaiting for.  But sadly, walking through Walmart on this particular day and I swear I was NOT looking - THIS yarn jumps up and says, "buy me or someone dies."  Ya'll know my love for life so I paid the $2.49 for the Red Heart acrylic Mexicana skein and asked it - "what, exactly it would like to become under my personal sticks should I accept this assignment and not just throw it's demon ass into the fire!" (talking yarn really!)  It said, "How about a rocking white trash bikini."  hmmm, Ok.  There will be a cheap ass bikini made from said demon skein.  I may even wear it just for the thrill.   Or do an exorcism and then get my head checked out - I don't normally hear voices.  Normally.

You can't make this shit up.

Okay so we have established -  (if you've been following along) and if you haven't - allow me to recap for you.  It's hot.  no. it's stupid hot.  Our specific garbage is to be collected (yeah like Wheeee I collect this fun stuff!)  Wednesday - EXCEPT that this particular Wednesday was the 4th of July - which in Virginia for some stupid reason they take very seriously though I suspect they would like to pick a totally different team.  Just sayin. SO said garbage sat from Tuesday night (respectably) til TOMORROW.  Lord Jesus you don't know what 100 degrees does to what I'm pretty sure is nothing but dead bodies down my street.  Ever wanted to kill someone? NOW is your chance!  Kill them now and put them in a bag or two and stick them to the freaking curb here.  Peace.  You are free and clear.  They probably deserved it anyway.

I ran this morning at 5:45 til 7 am.  Birds chirping people getting ready for work and I almost puked my guts out 5 times there and back.  LORD have mercy.  Maggots don't scare me - but this awesomesauce of disgustingness is on a whole nother realm!

Then there was the random person sleeping next to the g.d. garbage container - SLEEPING!  Like it was as natural as childbirth.  NOT SHITTING YOU.  He scared the hell out of me.  He was there when I left - and was there when I came back.  Who the hell sleeps in a cheap plastic chair next to a maggot box like it's normal?  HUH?  Where the hell do I live?  Of course these are the exact same folks that ran the AIR CONDITIONER on the OUTSIDE last year.  Okay I get a fan - it's air movement and if you are outside okay - no wind make your own but an AC?.  no lie.  I understand that the south - wait I mean the SOUTH coddles their eccentrics but this is just postal weird!  I mean I'm from a freaking family of eccentrics - like lawn mower driving to the bar cuz ya lost your license.  Personally I'd just walk - but that's me.  Just sayin.  Seriously.  Lord really?  I actually have pictures. Dude is behind the garbage on the sidewalk in a plastic chair.  I didn't want to offend him by taking his picture - though chances are he'd have enjoyed the PR.

If you recognize family or friends here don't call or text me - really.  Just move.

It's.......

No not Monty Python's Flying Circus.  It's HOT.  Really really.  And tomorrow is supposed to be beyond Satan's ball sack into another realm completely.  And the sadist that I am - I freaking love it.  But to be fair to all who have to actually function in it all the time who don't have low blood pressure or low blood sugar and aren't anemic (yeah me) and don't freeze their butts off in an office so cold I go outside to warm up (IN JANUARY!) My heart really does go out to you since I know I'm not normal.  I know that normal people stay inside if they have power and air conditioning (VA is still some without power from LAST FRIDAY) I know in stupid heat that normal folks go out on the water - though my pool DOES count as water and if I'm floating it counts right? But I love heat and eschew all things cold - (though frozen yogurt is the exception and frankly if I could live at a Pinkberry with Trinity my life would be complete).  I'm being very lazy tonight and I know the heat does have an effect since nobody really wants to eat anything - it really does slow you down.  I know the SOUTHERN cliches -  the slow driving, slow talking - slow moving.  I now get the drawl - ya'll are in no freaking hurry since Lord Jesus - it's too much effort to do ANYTHING fast.   But considering I'm from the NORTH - Lord - about as north as Canada - I also appreciate that it takes til July for our damn blood to thaw so we go mad all summer and then get ready to hunker down for the winter.  Summer in Wisconsin is reacquainting with neighbors you only saw when you shoveled their driveway - or in passing at the store- briefly. Summer is a frenzy of picking which party to go to since there are usually 3 each weekend and you need to decide who you love better or who has the better brats (TIM.) Summer is defrost and chill (funny yeah) fireworks shot off by drunk firemen - and sheepshead in the street on the bridge - it's rafting on the Wolf River and beer on a sandbar.  It's too damn short but watermelon sweet.

Summer in WI is f'n HOT and humid - though I would clarify - VA is more humid than ANY Wisconsin summer I ever remember and I'm an elephant.  It's hot here.  Stupid gloriously hot.  I feel human - empowered - though.  Maturity stepping in here.  I won't - I promise - run again - at 3 in the afternoon when it's 100+ out.  I really (confession here) almost passed out.  I've never had that happen but almost.  It was close to my hour mark and I nearly didn't make it.  I got scared by a car and the adrenaline woke me up.  I didn't run today.  Tomorrow I drag my sorry butt out in the am before it's 105.

There's a phrase to "Bloom where you are planted!"  I really like that since my lemon tree and I really really like it here.  I know it won't bloom since it's from a seed I started after a Black Piston party we had a million years ago in WI - we had corona's and lemons and I saved a seed.  It sprouted and it's now 10 feet tall.  Thorns  but no lemons.  It's pretty and it it reminds me that even from nothing you can get something if you give it time and love and water.  But it loves the heat and grows bigger every year.  I hope to someday put it in the ground or in a pot that won't need to come inside very winter.  I hope also to be somewhere where I won't have to come inside very winter.     Peace.

I can see clearly now . . .

Yeah.  I can.  If you are someone who knew me or were related to me you know I was the kid in glasses from 2nd grade on.  I really don't know how that feels since my kids haven't yet - though I feel it coming.  But I was.  My poor parents . . my confirmation present was contacts!  LORD in heaven you have no idea the freedom  (though each eye took 45 minutes of backing up from my own contact clad finger) I was blind as a freaking bat.  Forever it seemed.  Until T. decided enough was enough (okay - I actually asked for something that cost money) and he relented.  Enter Lasik.  Aislinn was barely weaned but I was on this like white on rice lest he change his mind - this was $1400 - a king's ransom as I saw it . . . ! Well a year in the making - to take me from blind to 15/20.  Both eyes needed tweeking -  it really was a long horrible process but end of day - I could see.  Clearly.  Up to about 2 yrs ago when I noticed I couldn't see at night.  Then as I began to spend hours at work on my computer I really couldn't see past my computer clearly.  I fought it.  God.  I had worn contacts from 12 to 31.  Glasses at 7.  This was not fun for me. 

But.  I had a good run.  I can see just not clearly without contacts or the cool Sarah Palin glasses that will make every 40+ man want me . . . LOL!

I just am grateful for the husband who quite literally shoved me out the door to go to the appointment and makes enough $$ that a years worth of contacts and a hot pair of glasses won't break us. 

I know my eyes are valuable and I should not have been such a baby but it was a point of contention for me.  For me bad eyes are not an age thing so it certainly wasn't a midlife crisis. . . it was GAH - NOT AGAIN - thing.  I wanted to never cross this bridge until I needed reading glasses from walgreens.  Yeah.  Well.  I can see clearly now - and my hubby is cute.  Though he does have that mole I never noticed before . . . .

Chopsticks Rock

Yeah.  Purple thumb thanks to the freezer at work.  6 weeks ago.  So random thoughts continue tonight.. . . Chopsticks.  Roger and I are kid-less for approximately 6 weeks.  This was a bad thing last year since I decided to have a total nervous breakdown.  Working in reverse order - My kids left me to stay with their dad and his new wife for the first time people didn't need me to exist, Roger's mom (who lived with us for a year and relied on us for pretty much every freaking thing and was hard to be with because I'd never met her before) died.  It was weird on levels I won't go into because I don't want to hurt Roger nor his sweet family but suffice it to say I still have nightmares.  We moved to VA because my sweet man lost a job - and then a great company YES IT'S FREDDIE MAC - moved us lock stock and lemon tree (yes it's thriving!!)  Thank you sweet JESUS they did that because we were going to lose our townhouse.  My son spent a month in "lock down hospital" because we really didn't know Aspberger's was real.  (sidenote - it is.) I met a man I fell in love with in 2 weeks after I filed for divorce on the love of my life - my (then)husband and I parted ways . . .  Whew.  Reverse isn't how my brain works.  really I'm only a forward thinker.  The past is so hard since - like a weed - it wants to stay rooted and since it's only our perspective it may (is) a bit skewed.

So chopsticks.  This year is the year of regeneration as I stated in a previous post.  I love the fact that this is actually printed on the chopsticks.  I quote, "tuk under tnurub and held firmly - add second shopstick hold it as you a pencil.  hold tirst chopstick in original position move the second ong up and down Now you tan pick up anything."  Omg.  that is beautiful.  I tan pick up anything because I've been eating with chopsticks (I'm so picky about what kinds I stock) for 15 years now.  Almost exclusively.  They really make so much more sense.  You pierce nothing and can eat hot and sour soup with nothing more than a spoon and sticks.  Or maybe it's the stick thing.  I'm a knitter.  I've actually knit with chopsticks.  It's kind of a something useful out of nothing that makes my heart beat faster.  noodles are kind of like stringy yarn . .  . yeah it makes sense.

so. this year.  Nobody goes crazy.  I'm both on it and floating.  I'm in a holding pattern of sorts but I'm going to school for a Master's degree in Adult Education and Training since really what do I like more than the sound of my own voice teaching?  If you've met me - that is too too freakin true.  I want to train adults.  And sweet B - a master's would get me a gig in our library system.  Thanks to you I know that now.  :D

These posts will also offer a challenge if you want.  Eat with chopsticks exclusively for a whole week.  It will slow you down if you have an issue with food ("Are you big boned?" aka fat?) or if you just eat too fast.  I used to not eat during the day and be starving and literally make myself sick because I would eat too fast.  Chopsticks at the start will fix that - short of soup I'm now just as fast.  Try it.  Get good at it and then switch hands- wait - don't  - you will starve.  LOL.  Love you all.  And if you get to make or see Fireworks - enjoy.

The Vapors

I have been drawn to the Steampunk look for years but have never really explored it since - well - it's a bit of a commitment.  Like a tattoo,  if you are inked, well, you have ink.  You are tattooed.  Now - there are the wee little (ooooh just get my palm tree over with Jessie - I need to get back to Tony at the Tiki bar) and then there's INK.  I like to think I have Ink.  Committed and totally hooked but I can interview nicely.  Nothing up the ear -  nothing on the knuckles - I can still pass as normal.  But I love my look.  I don't have anything I apologize for.  I've covered a few things but well this isn't about ink it's about an idea.

Steampunk.

I'm a huge Jules Vern fan.  Much like some people get into Renaissance Faires (yes please) or Comic Con . . . I would do Steampunk or even Swing but that's another look and another post.  The Victorian Era is appealing on so many levels -  IN FREAKING RETROSPECT!  I like my modern plumbing and underwire bra thankyouverysecretmuch! It's a great look - but frankly googles and clockwork parts don't really fit my job nor life.  But I think what I like the most is it's a mismatched blend of what is cool from the past (yeah my version of cool) and what's cool from the future that never was - (again - my version).  I do mismatched SO WELL I should have coined the phrase.  I like taking my today and retooling it to a version that fits.  I have been the Harleychick - short skirt - boots to the knee - pony tail mama AND the Business Woman in the tailored skirt and Louis purse.  Still me.  Still inked and pierced.  I like the dichotomy.  I like Steampunk because it shouldn't work.  It shouldn't make sense - And yet it does.  Like a Magritte painting - it works because it's the unexpected but really not.  You expect me to say one thing because you view me as mommy Christian whatever and when I say the smart witty Python comment - it shocks you.  I'm okay with that now since I'm 43 (almost years) into it.  I still believe I'm in the meaning of life age - til October anyway.  I was an old soul - too smart for my paygrade - I'm ready to transcend.  More on my life choice - or at least schooling decision (thanks Roger!) later, but I'm going back to school.    


Oh and music choice to hear this is Rush's Vapor Trails.  


Really! - a word like "Vapors" gets stuck in my head and I need to follow it down the proverbial Rabbit Hole and it made me think of "getting the vapor's" like the Victorian's actually thought melancholy was a real condition.  Now, we have prozac for that.  LOL.  


Really, I personally think the vapor's were better.