You can't make this shit up.

Okay so we have established -  (if you've been following along) and if you haven't - allow me to recap for you.  It's hot.  no. it's stupid hot.  Our specific garbage is to be collected (yeah like Wheeee I collect this fun stuff!)  Wednesday - EXCEPT that this particular Wednesday was the 4th of July - which in Virginia for some stupid reason they take very seriously though I suspect they would like to pick a totally different team.  Just sayin. SO said garbage sat from Tuesday night (respectably) til TOMORROW.  Lord Jesus you don't know what 100 degrees does to what I'm pretty sure is nothing but dead bodies down my street.  Ever wanted to kill someone? NOW is your chance!  Kill them now and put them in a bag or two and stick them to the freaking curb here.  Peace.  You are free and clear.  They probably deserved it anyway.

I ran this morning at 5:45 til 7 am.  Birds chirping people getting ready for work and I almost puked my guts out 5 times there and back.  LORD have mercy.  Maggots don't scare me - but this awesomesauce of disgustingness is on a whole nother realm!

Then there was the random person sleeping next to the g.d. garbage container - SLEEPING!  Like it was as natural as childbirth.  NOT SHITTING YOU.  He scared the hell out of me.  He was there when I left - and was there when I came back.  Who the hell sleeps in a cheap plastic chair next to a maggot box like it's normal?  HUH?  Where the hell do I live?  Of course these are the exact same folks that ran the AIR CONDITIONER on the OUTSIDE last year.  Okay I get a fan - it's air movement and if you are outside okay - no wind make your own but an AC?.  no lie.  I understand that the south - wait I mean the SOUTH coddles their eccentrics but this is just postal weird!  I mean I'm from a freaking family of eccentrics - like lawn mower driving to the bar cuz ya lost your license.  Personally I'd just walk - but that's me.  Just sayin.  Seriously.  Lord really?  I actually have pictures. Dude is behind the garbage on the sidewalk in a plastic chair.  I didn't want to offend him by taking his picture - though chances are he'd have enjoyed the PR.

If you recognize family or friends here don't call or text me - really.  Just move.