Chocolate Covered Bacon

Cuz Damn - nothing sayz love like cardiac arrest on a plate :D  Okay - so if you are doing this life right you really shouldn't have to be worried about a few indulgence's here and there unless you are Martin Luther and then you nail stuff to doors with Worms in your Diet (okay nobody but my innermost got that)  BUT just sayin - if you do your life right and your people do it right chocolate and some pig shouldn't be the worst thing ever.  CUZ if the house is rockin don't bother knockin (finish this song B!) That's right - do your life right and just live right and take everything - including moderation in moderation and freakin enjoy it.

I gotta say - life with a certain 94 year old is a lesson in not killing someone.  She is difficult on a good day and I'm ready to push her in the street on a bad one!  She has more money than God - is pretty much closer in age than HE is - and YET is worried about getting fat!  Dear Jesus - if I make it to 94 -  being in a freakin beauty contest is the LAST thing that is crossing my mind besides - "where is the butter and can you bring me more?"  She can't see, can't hear and doesn't have a man.  But is worried about her girlish figure.  Ok.  Stop.  Her stuff hits her stuff.  There isn't a girlish anything in eyeshot and unfortunately for me - I've seen it!  Eat.  And enjoy.  I really hope I don't live that long.  Seriously - BUT if I do.  Get back and don't stick your arm in front of the donuts. 

No really - I know me.  I'll still be running.  I know I will.  I am me and will still be running.  I knit - on the elliptical while watching travel shows.  Can't just watch tv - or work out - NOOOOO  I need to use my hands (the devil's playground don't cha know) as well.

So if you love someone - or just love bacon - make this.  Crispiness is what makes the difference.  Do it right or just don't.  If you are going to cover something soggy in chocolate - don't make it bacon.  Just sayin. 

A bag of semi sweet choco chips.  The best you want - hell - make it cheap - you are puttin it over bacon - how bad can it be?

Take a pound of bacon.  Here's where if you want to spend a buck = do it. 

pre-heat oven to 350 (yes degrees)
line 2 sheet pans with 2 cooling racks (don't make me hurt you - yes do this)

put your bacon spread out on these two happy sheets

cook until done.  Yes you have to pay attention.  It's bacon dear LORD!  DO it.  We want crispy and DONE not limp and icky.  NO one NOT no one WANTS limp and icky.  just sayin

When super crispy - BUT NOT BURNT.  ONLY on the beach in Rio do we want burnt.  And frankly I'd take anything on the beach in Rio  . . . .

Take out and chill for a bit - here's where you will get dirty.  In chocolate.  You will.  Your fingers have to meet the chocolate and bacon so just deal.  It's so messy!!!!!!!!! - take the melted chocolate (micro is fine in short bursts - just don't burn it) take the chocolate and put it on a flexible cutting board and gently set the crisp bacon in it and cover.  Set on waxed paper.  My daughters said it was too much chocolate but seriously - what do they know of chocolate?  They can each eat a pound of bacon so it really was more about the bacon and less about the chocolate for them.  As a woman of years and experience I know it's more the chocolate and less the pig.  Just sayin.  Peace out!