memory - (or smells like family spirit!)

okay so a lot of folks have given me crap about the Christmas Soup post.  YEAH it tastes like a memory to me and crap to everyone who doesn't remember it as "familiar."  Thought I was clear on that.  I posted it to, well, post it.  It was a memory.  Like um okay - can you tell me how much better a hot dog that your dad bought you from the ball park that one game he took you to that you caught that fly ball and . . . . okay.  really?  it's a hot dog.  in a bun.  from someone at a hot dog stand at a ball park. BUT IT TASTED BETTER because it was a memory.  My Christmas Soup is the same damn thing.  If you were not part of the family circa 1985 forget it.  My ex wouldn't touch it if his life was on the line.  And it wasn't.  Frankly I hated this shit as a kid.  It was the part between the sorta cool night church stuff and the morning of presents.  It was like the purgatory of foods.  And I know that I will have some sort of heinous thing to go through for saying that, but it's true.  I hated that crap.  BUT.  and here's where the grown up in me stands up and says "who we are as adults is based on what we choose from our childhood to move on with" I choose Christmas Soup.  Me. alone.  No other sibling from my family chooses to make this for her (his) family as a tradition. It really truly dies with me.  A family tradition decades old - dies with me.  If I don't pass it.  Now really - whatever?  really? who cares if it does.  Well.  Here's something for you.  I lost this recipe.  I actually lost (if you read me (yeah right) about 2500 recipes.  This being the one that made me physically sick.  My mom scanned it - but not BEFOE I SCANNED THE INTERNET for this.  Surely we could not have the patent on this . . ... . yeah.  We do.  It's a Katie Korn origional.  And ends here if I don't share.  So turn up your nose if you will and I know you will unless you do as I do and make it rock with marrow bones and good yummy sirloin and such.  Okay so this is my torch.  And carry it I will but you all know that you had gma's with goodness that until today you maybe took for granted.

sorry - feeling all "pretty in pink" nostalgic - (watch it again) family is important.  okay vital.  no matter what.  sometimes they are all you have - or in my case all you don't have.

it's outside resting from my stove.  Christmas Soup.  I need it for it to be Christmas.  Jesus wasn't born in December.  Sorry.  It's a fact.  But we celebrate nonetheless.  Santa doesn't come down chimneys and I never once lied to my kids - but the things I know to be true . . . Jesus was a real person and He did what HE said He did.  And what I say I mean.  I don't lie.  Family.  It's all we've got.  Be real. Say sorry if you mean it and feed your people well.  Be nice on purpose! 

Persimmon in the Cold

It's cold here.  Now.  I mean just NOW.  It was freakin 65 degrees until I went home to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving.  I could bitch and complain (like they are different?) but secretly - in a place I don't really honestly talk about - it should be cooler (okay cold) at Christmas.  There I said it.  My name is Katie and it should be cold at Christmas.  Gah, what the hell am I saying?  I should be lying on a beach in Australia where it's stupid hot  - drinking a mai tai  - for Christmas, but unless that was a once in a life time Christmas extravaganza - That is NOT Christmas!  Christmas TO ME - is - wait for it . .  . . Cold.  It just is.  SO that said - some secret part of me is satisfied.  I can nest and cook (wait, I do that every damn day!) and decorate.  I am - for now - at peace.

BUT - it gets better.  There will be guests.  At my house.  YES!!!!  Roger invited his co-workers for a brunch appetizer party!!!!  True - there may actually have to be football involved - but I can deal with that since I get to ENTERTAIN.  GROWNUPS!!!  For the first time ever in this house there will be adult beverages served to people I am not married to, am, or technically related to.  Peeing myself in happy anticipation I am!! 

So - because I actually don't want to scare these nice people who don't know me (and do know Roger - and are still coming! Sorry lol) BUT - I do want to cook my little heart out so I am thinking.  And will probably be sewing curtains in the next day or so.  Sorry.  It's what I do.  Hmmmm Theme.  Menu.  Beef Heart and Marrow bones . . . . . Shhhhh Don't tell Roger.  I'll be nice.  I promise. 

So that brings me to Persimmons.  Show of hands - who's had one?  Yeah - the dork in the back.  Thought so.  They are so yummy and delicate. Like a sweet tomato without the seeds.  I put them in my salad with tomato and onion to balance the sweet savory yin and yang.  No one but me knows but anyone who's had a salad from me just gets that sweetness and thinks it's good.  PLUS the other name for Persimmon - the Asian name - is FUYU.  My daughter and I just burst out in "FUYU"  when we want to make the other laugh.  Say it like the Samurai Chef.  It's funny.

Persimmons are tricky fruit.  I say that because I've had a bad one and it was like licking every bad dry wine concentrated essence!  Persimmons have tannin.  If they are not ripe they suck.  BUT the nice part is they ripen nicely and are still yummy even if after the fact.

Honestly - I hate to say this but here's my recipe since it's so stupid easy - but just put a ripe AND THE KEY IS RIPE persimmon in your green salad.  You won't be sorry.  It just adds that thing that you have been missing.

I will have other persimmon recipes to follow but they are way more complicated and I want you to already love the creature before I make you jump through hoops to do something lovely with it. 

You will have to trust me on this one.  They really are lovely.  You won't go wrong.  Try new foods.  There are so many really amazing things that you just need to open your mind and step out of your comfort zone and try.  I mean - gosh - what's the worst that can happen?  You don't like it?  Or you just might.  New is good sometimes - well, actually - a lot! 

Christmas Soup and other lost things

So, I lost a recipe book.  No big deal right?  Okay so this particular recipe book had my Grandma's recipe for Christmas Soup.  In her handwriting.  Stained recipe card and all.  Okay so it was actually a binder that contained about 2,500 recipes I had amassed over my 41 years of life.  gone.  I was sick.  Then pissed.  Then on a mission to find it.  Now just sad.  Cycles of grief and all.  I won't be great.  But my mom scanned the one recipe that I know my life would not be good with if I missed.  Okay - Christmas Soup.  I'm pretty sure when my book gets published (click click - there's no place like home etc.) okay f'n wishful thinking this will be clear but  - Okay so I WAS NAMED AFTER THIS PARTICULAR LADY!  This is Grandma Katie's Christmas Soup.  I had Glad's (her fav flower) at my first wedding!  YES this is a big deal! 

My family is a freaking messed up crazy sandwich of love and goodness but Christmas brings out what it does in most of lower middle class America - all the nuts in the fruitcake!

My family had 3 traditions.  Church on Christmas Eve and Day, Santa, And Christmas SOUP on Christmas Eve before Church at my Grandma Andersen's house.  Now WHEN I say this was not something at the time I looked forward to I am not exaggerating.  We (kids) hated Christmas Soup.  It was icky and had dumplings that had WHITE RAISINS in them  and no meat and CELERY!  EWWWWWWWWWWW  but the up side was olives that fit on all our fingers and a white table cloth and Heck - it was Christmas so no matter how bad this was it was CHRISTMAS and there was a pooping doll in our future!!!!  For sure!

So for this memory you have to add in - it's the late 70's (yeah hot fashion scene!) early 80's - bad decorating all around.  It's Winneconne Wisconsin - mecca of all things Wall-eye and not so clean!  I can't say as a very educated woman I can actually make sense of this - but it's a memory for me no matter the reason or source. 

So here's what I have - The Soup of Christmas in the house of Andersen from Winneconne WI originally from Denmark though I doubt it since this recipe is NO WHERE on the Werld Wyde Webb (yeah I looked) so my guess is it's a Katie orginal.  I somehow embrace that.  I make shit up as I go along as well.  Yeah, It's mine.  And those that follow.  I choose to believe that some day kids - folks - people who knew my people will be looking up my Caribbean Chicken cuz that shit rocks . . . . just sayin.  Good is good folks - Christmas or not. 

Christmas Soup in the house of Andersen

Dumplings
2 10oz cans of bread crumbs (plain)
8 eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1 package of white raisins (in the name of all things holy leave them the hell out!) just sayin
some salt (lol - a pinch) my gma was funny too!

okay so you actually know what a hazelnut is?  didn't think so!  LOL okay so roll into tablespoon portions.
This makes a F! ton!

Soup.  Now here's where the creative part comes in.  My mom (Lord love her - I am So SOUTHERN!)  adds way more beef and good stuff - I remember my G'ma's being just a clear broth with a few carrot whispers and maybe a hit of celery and you were really a big winner if you got a smattering of beef in your bowl!!!  Memory is a fickle bitch.  Maybe I'm over simplifying - maybe.  Doubt it.  I am making it with 5 f'n # of Sirloin.  A # of marrow bones and more good stock than anyone should have in a soup.  I'm making it Katie style.  Me style.  This came from Grandma Katie.  And I'm Jacking it up a bit.  Or so.  I'm on it and makin it good.  I'm having my girls roll the dumplings (WITHOUT THE FREAKING RAISINS!) not just cuz I can't eat them but ewww? Helping cuz? - helping equals ownership.  I'm all about it.  If they help they may just try it.  maybe. 1 onion, 1 lb of carrots chopped 1 lb of celery and a bit of garlic (yea that's me) in a HUGE POT OF WATER!  When all the soup cooks add the dumplings and cook the hell out of them.  This soup took my family a few days to make.  I think they just let it all sit out.  I prefer to not kill anyone with bacteria so I do it all with refrigeration and stuff but well, there's that.

 I have a complicated family life.  Duh? who doesn't - life is messing bring tissue - but mine?  all levels are messy.  I tread lightly often - Christmas this year is especially messy since I'm not at home for the first time in 41yrs and my kids are away from their dad.  It's painful and weird. 

I embrace painful and weird with as much familiar as I can.  Soup.  What is more familiar than soup?  Especially when you are named after her?  And don't put dates in your chocolate chip cookies?  (love you mom!) (Okay so read my book to get that reference!) Sorry.  I love Wisconsin (and the people) People from Illinois (hate the state - and Sandy! -sorry, I mean I pray for her!) VA all around I love it but it's windy and cold this last week.  Trying conditions (MOM!) and stuff make it hard.  I need love and warmth and friends and family.  I have none.  But I have voices and soup.  I hate to be all trite here.  It really is hard being away at this time of year.  Traditions are all we have.  I have found myself wanting to go back to the WELS church for it's traditions - that's how bad I am missing people!  So try the soup - use a ton of water (that's significant as well) with the marrow bones.  Boil the dumpings in the soup - and tell me what you think.  You won't remember what I remember but maybe you'll think of me.  Or create something of  your own.  It's okay traditions are fluid if you keep doing them. Someone has to start them somewhere. 

So enjoy this soup if you are so inclinded.  It's kind of like the SNL episode where the Pawn Shop gave sentimental value to items.  It's so good - because - it's my Christmas Soup and I'm named after Grandma Katie.  Duh!?!

old vs antique

There are things I have noticed spending time with my newly acquired MIL who will soon be 94 years old that there are very very profound differences in preference.  I hate Jello.  I do.  My kids would eat the finger jello I made for them only if I spent 8 hours making it in 6 different rainbow flavors and it stood up to 150 lbs per sq inch!  If you put walnuts and celery and mayonaise in it - I would need to be 40 days starving in the desert before it would cross my mind that that was food - and even then I would choose the crickets.  Live.  Sorry.  Preference.  I hate that shit.  She is completely baffled why it is not the first food I want to rub my face in every morning!  It sits - as she slowly eats a tablespoon a day of the 45 gallon tub she made awaiting my return from our Thanksgiving vacation home to my parents.  BAFFLED she is that I don't want to bathe in it!  UGH - There are walnuts.  And celery.  Now I like celery - Not so much the walnuts.  BUT it's jello.  UGH!

But it's really not about the Jello.  It's about acceptance.  It's about who we are - in time - and who we want to be with and be connected to.  I won't lie.  She's hard.  She was a spoiled brat.  And still is.  At 94 (almost) she's a spoiled brat.   I really don't mean disrespect - it's just a fact.  She expects to have her ass kissed and her stuff taken care of.  If she helps with the slightest thing she wants full on THANKS.  I wasn't raised that way.  If you helped - you were lucky you had someone to help.  I remember being hungry.  Not just as a kid.  I remember being poor.  Shit, it was yesterday!  That stuff stays with you.  I was never a member of a country club (not that I would mind you - but just saying)  She's had a pampered life.  Good for her.  That I don't have a problem with - it's the carry over - the entitlement that frankly pisses me off. 

I have a nephew from my first marriage that was born with a silver entitlement in his mouth.  He lived his entire life (and still probably will beyond that) expecting the universe to give him something he did not earn - work for - or enter into - but just was his because he DREW BREATH!  I never ever got that.  He was a pretty much waste of O2 as far as I could see.  DID freaking nothing for his mom - did nothing to earn  a dollar or help in any way - but HE WAS OWED THIS HUGE DEBT FROM THE WORLD AT LARGE!   I was like "huh?"

I went to college on almost 95% me.  Yes my parents paid $3000 for me to go to a private college.  And I am so thankful for that.  BUT the other 37,0000 came from my hard work and effort.  My husband's kids walk around with their hands out like dad is a wallet.   Sorry.  My dad was (is) a great guy always offered a spare $20 when he had it  - which was every time I saw him - but I never ever saw him as my ticket to ride.  Not so much Roger's lazy POS's!  They are more like their mom than him. SHOCKING I know.  So - I'll let this end here before I totally piss off the universe with my tirade.  Let it just be said.  Parts are parts and people are people and there are brats that are 94 and good people who are 6.  It's who you are and who raised you. 



Finger jello that takes too f'n long to make but my kids will eat!  Take a small quart container and do a smidge at a time of each color

grape
blue
lime
yellow
orange
red
peach

do a package of each with only half of the boiling water and none of the other water
mix in a separate container and then add an hour or two at a crack

the longer it takes you to do this the better!

pudding in between is cool too!  looks like layers between the colors :D

You get what you . . . .

Finish that statement and I get who you are more than you know.  Pay for?  or give?  I'd say either on any given day depending on my mood.  They say the faster your mind does those crazy optical illusions the smarter you are.  I choose to believe that since mine flip faster than your average DC politician (that's fast folks!)   SO that said.  I have to ask.  What will you or won't you pay for?  I'm so cheap I won't pay my good earned (or bad for that matter :D) money for pretty much anything EXCEPT as I have been thinking outside the box (hello? last post) I rethink everything I do lately.

I give a lot.  Personally - professionally - spiritually - I like to give.  BUT I like most of all to feed.  Egos - spirits - souls - tummies.  I like to feed you.  I am a feeder.  Some (hey Kristen) would call me Co-dependent. And she would be correct.  Not just because she has a masters degree in Psychology, but because she's my sister.  And knows of which she speaks.  BUT really - this is WHO I am - broken stuff and all - I like to feed.  I have that whole hospitality thing.  I love it.  It makes me happy and warm.  I like feeling warm.  :D

So - what would you PAY for?  I clearly would never ever - pull my teeth out and even then I couldn't - pay someone to clean my house.  I don't hate cleaning - but it certainly isn't one of my passions.  My house is clean (yes sanitary) could you eat off the floor? sure there may be enough for a small appetizer . . . . (sorry family joke) BUT do I love to clean - absolutely and I love having my teeth cleaned too ..... HELL NO!  I hate cleaning but I do it because life is lived here by people and animals.  Cleaning is necessary to life or it gets complicated and frankly I already HAVE complicated.  Clean makes it easier.  I like bleach and such things.  So I clean - a lot.  BUT paying for that?  No way.  I am too proud to have Margalitta cleaning my toilet.  Or Lolita - you pick - either way NO WAY!  I'd rather die.  Even if I won the lottery in 6 states NO WAY. 

Okay so what WILL I Pay for?  Good underwear is one.  NO not La Perla.  I am Katie Wenzel Sullivan-Howard for God sakes not "Mrs. Married to Seal" (oh wait that would be vickies). But a good Victoria Secret bra - that fits me just right OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have boobs!  Oh wait? - you just think I do!  Excellent!  Yep.  That is one.

Scent.  What I smell like.  Yes I will pay dearly for that.  Smell to me is huge.  I have huge olfactory issues.  If you smell bad to me and I mean to ME  - not smell bad to the human race - JUST ME - it's big.  I know people I can't sit by or be close to because to ME they smell off - odd or just bad.  It's me.  BUT then - my ex (hey Tim) hated the oil I LOVED to wear.  HATED IT.  I loved it - love it and wear it daily - Roger loved it on me the day we met.  CHA -CHING - you're IN!  Sorry but smell is huge.  It dictates who we mate with who we do business with etc . . . If you are with someone that you hate how they smell . . . run.  Don't walk . . . IT WON'T end well.  JUST SAYING. . . . ..

And food.  I will - I will pay for good ingredients.  I will pay 8 bucks for a tiny - miniscule - jar of saffron threads.  Because I LOVE SAFFRON RICE!!!!!!!!!!  I will pay for good seafood.  I will pay for good jasmine rice.  I will pay for ingredients.  BECAUSE I LOVE TO COOK!!!!!!!!!!!  I hate restaurants.  WHEW - got that off my chest.  I hate paying for someone else to touch my stuff.  Food I mean.  I like - love - live to cook.  I live to feed.  I hate to be fed other peoples stuff.  WOW does that make me a hypocrite?  I hope not.  I just love to feed you if you need something.  Dinner? a compliment if it makes sense for ya - really is that so bad?  Who doesn't like to hear that their hair is falling right today and compliments their eyes?  or that they look nice in that top - it fits them just right.  Or here - you hungry - have this - I just made some for us - enjoy.  I am an epicurean.  I am a lover of the senses.  And I embrace that.  I like how things sound and feel and taste.  Thank you.  And THANK YOU!

STUPID AWESOME CURRY JASMINE RICE.

1 container of jasmine rice (like a coffee cup) rinse it once
take that same container and put one measure of light coconut milk and one container of pineapple juice
bring to a boil and add 1 T of curry powder
reduce heat and stir once.  lid this
add at the last second some of the pineapple some flaked coconut.

Yum.  Good with Indian food or just food.  Good.  Enjoy :D :D

shaving - discuss . . . . .

So this is not technically a cooking post - though if you are nice I may share my kick ass WHITE CHICKEN CHILI - though it has absolutely nothing to do with my random thoughts.   so.  Shaving.  It's so dumb.  Who started the body shaving thing other than the unclean who had lice and various other body vermin hiding in their body hair? 

Okay so as an American female raised in the MTV era - I was so traumatized by Nena's 99 Luft Balloons video (hello European pits!) that shaving my armpits became a daily obsession.  (yeah TMI I know - but you know me already if you are reading this and TMI is my middle name so shut it.)  But really  = who said it was imperative to have women shave soup to nuts (so to speak :D) and men not so much. 

I'm not talking about the latest "manscaping" trend to make their "deck" look bigger.  Yeah I watch comedy central too - but come on!  Men don't typically shave their bodies - just their faces.  AND maybe their heads (my ex did that and yes it was sexy as hell - but a HUGE pain!) but WE "have" to shave Pits and Parts AND legs !!!!  HUH?  SO they (aka - men) according to modern AMERICAN convention shave faces everyday but EVERYTHING else is hairy.  We - girls everything else but the head (unless we are Sinead O'Connor and we know how well her career has gone of late) - WHO PICKS THIS CRAP? 

Okay - I pick again.  In winter - unless going to a party in a short skirt American girls don't shave their legs - Thank you.  WHAT? you say.  Okay then you (boys) shave your pits and parts bare and we'll talk.  When it starts to grow back and it itches like an SOB yeah.  we'll talk.  I'm baffled by the stupid things we do because "conventional culture" says so.  Shaving is not Biblical - but rather cultural.  Rebekah had a NOSE RING for gosh sakes!  look it up.  She did.  Hahahaha!!!  I'm tight with my sista here!!!!  SO anyway - this rambling is just a huh?  why do we do the dumb things we do?  Leg hair is not offensive unless we "think" it is. 

I love long hair on my head - but it's heavy and hot.  Straight up - it is.  But I love it.  For me.  Would I ever in a million years demand you to do it like me?  HECK NO - but it works for me personally. 

Just saying - BOX?  think outside it for a day and you will be blow away by the things you "do" because you just do. 

You were good.  Here you go.

White Chicken Chili - Hot Katie style!!!

3 lbs Boneless skinless THIGHS - yeah cuz they rock.  Chunked into small cubes
2 qts water or broth.  Really doesn't matter here since  we jack it up.
1/2 jar of Mrs Renfros Green Sauce Salsa (walmart carries it) if not 2 small cans of green chili's &2 T sugar
3 T Cumin
3 cans white navy or butter beans with juice (don't drain)
1 onion chopped
1 t salt
bacon grease or olive oil

brown onion in grease or oil - add chicken - brown - add cumin - add salsa and then QUICKLY add water or broth or your nose will scorch.  Yeah.  Personally.  I know.  add beans add salt.  Boil.  Reduce heat.  Reduce to your desired thickness after about an hour or two.  Serve with sour cream - and more salsa.  Freakin rocks.  I love it.  :D  Now go shave something.  :D

I like freaky food - yes I do - I like freaky food - how bout you?

sorry that wasn't necessary - just my inner cheerleader poking out at the craziest times.   Okay so I am  suspect of people (adults) who won't try something that other adults around the world eat and enjoy.  Now, I'm not talking about something that will hurt you if you have an allergy or something really nasty like hot dogs or manufactured pickle relish - I mean really this is fun stuff people at least take the "no thank you" bite. 

I get that people don't like things.  I hate.  No, I HATE okra. I make a mean gumbo WITHOUT freakin okra.  It's slimey.  IT'S ICKY - IT'S OKRA!  Ewwwww!  okay so you get what I mean.  We all have things that hell or high water we just won't eat.  But to my defense I HAVE actually tried it.  Multiple times.  In multiple locations.  All positions.  Yes I am still talking about food.  I hate it.  There are actually several things I don't enjoy but I am always game to try.  If you've made it and enjoy it, I will ABSOLUTELY try it.  Yes.  I have so many allergies.  BUT I am learning how to deal.  Massive doses of BEANO can give me a few precious moments of wheat.  I use it sparingly but yes I do when I want to.  I love my Lactaid.  I don't abuse.  But yes I am Katie and I like Ice Cream.  It's been 5 days since I last had a cone. 

But I'm sorry.  I push the envelope with my family.  I love my people but they are boring.  Boring foodies that is.  My only hope was Connor who sadly left us in August for a whole year.  But he was fun.  If we cooked it together he would eat it.  How fun is that?  I love to try things that are weird and exciting.  I like chicken liver.  Risotto and chicken liver.  You have to stir it for 15 minutes or it dies.  It was amazing.  I know that because I ate it.  No one else would touch it.  They had tacos.

This recipe is kind of complicated because I used bone marrow.  When I die - please bury me with a marrow bone.  I think there is nothing on earth so amazing as sex and bone marrow.  Sex would be hard to bury.  So have some for me and then just put a bone in my coffin (besides me that is!)  Thanks. 

Risotto with chicken liver

I cooked up a marrow bone and then extracted the 2 T of marrow for the pot.  If you don't enjoy this - olive oil will do.  melt it in the pot - sweat a chopped onion and garlic.  add 2 cups arborio rice and wait until it's slightly translucent.  add 2/3 cup white wine and reduce a bit.  then add 4-5 cups good chicken broth.  Yes your own.  really?  A pinch of saffron threads.  some salt and pepper and then stir for 15 minutes.  Don't cover.  just stir.  it's a pain in the ass but good.  Get a kid to stir - really it's not rocket science. 

for the livers -
take some olive oil or better yet chicken fat from the chicken you used to make the broth (aka schmaltz) and sweat another chopped onion and garlic - then jack the heat and get 1 pound of good fresh chicken livers (frozen are okay) dice. a lot.  Like tiny chunks.  Brown the living hell out of them.  Add 1/2 cup of broth to them and when you would eat them then - add them to the rice.  shred in 1/2 cup fresh parm.  Yum.  And I can say yum because it rocked.  I get that beef liver can be scary because it's usually cooked into shoe leather but really this is different.  TRY IT - if not and you just hate liver for some stupid reason - get the hell over it.  Try it and enjoy.  Remember the first time you heard about sex?  It sounded yucky and gross.  Right?  yeah.  right.  again.  I say.  Grow up!  :D